Building body confidence

[tammylsmith]

So my son is just a newborn, but I want to know how those of you with older boys build body confidence that their penis is, in fact normal and healthy. What types of things do you say or do, especially when he is little? Chances are, nobody will ever say anything to my son, but even if he gets a curious but harmless inquiry, say at the pool or something, I want him to know how to respond, even as a very young child. My dh (who is circed) talked about how awkward boys feel about their penises in general in Jr high school especially, and I was wondering if a healthy dose of confidence and understanding that he is normal would help with that. Thanks!

[nd_deadhead]

My twin sons are intact, and we live in a high-circumcision part of the country. They are 15 years old, and have no idea if their friends are cirfcumcised or not, because they don't look and they don't discuss it.

Our sons learned abot circumcision when they were 8 years old - they heard the word at a church sermon, and asked what it meant. They were shocked to think anyone would want to cut off their foreskin, and horrified when we told therm that men don't usually choose it for themselves, but their parents have it done to them. From that moment on, they have been grateful that they have all their parts.

We hav e talked about how they might respond if anyone ever did make a comment, and both of my sons told me they would simply say "Dude! Why are you even looking?" They have no concerns at all about it, even though they are in high school gym classes.

OTOH, they have been teased for being identical twins, for being clumsy, for being tall, for not having cell phones - you name it. Encouraging self-respect and self-confidence helps kids deal with all kinds of bullies - not just the ones who might show up in the locker room (and my understanding/experience is that locker room teasing is very uncommon).

[tammylsmith]

Definitely true. Glad to hear you weren't afraid of a high circ rate. My cousin-in-law lives in ND... didn't want to circ, but decided to because of that very reason . I'm not so concerned about teasing... I'm not concerned about any of it really (the more I get used to having a son who is intact, the weirder it is not to be, to me!) I was wondering about how I can make sure ds has answers if he needs them so that he can be confident with himself. (really, this applies to all his bits, not just his penis, but I was curious about what people on this board would think and how others handle the body confidence thing in general) I suppose a lot of this comes up just naturally really. My dd is 3, and very interested in what makes girls and boys different. Dh and I don't wander around nude, but don't rush to cover either after showers and such, so that fuels a lot of questions/conversation with her. My ds has a cousin who is just months older, who is circed. I was just thinking about how kids naturally will be curious about each other, and I was wondering what I might say to him as a very small child that would help him explain to his cousin, for example, if they happen to be taking a bath at Grammy's house or something like that.

[MommytoB]

Anyways, when I was teaching Brendan his body parts I would add foreskin into the body teaching and then when my son was 2 1/2 yr old saw what a circ'ed boy looked like . He was like Owie , pointing at his penis . I said yes it was an owie but it healed. He got his foreskin taken away by doctors. My 2 yr old son eye grew big wide and that was the end of that convo . Then I mentioned when he was going to be in preschool when he was 3 that he may end up seeing boys with foreskin and no foreskins . The boys with no foreskin got cut . He is aware of the difference and knows that some boys have foreskins and some don't.

What else suprised me is that I actually thought my son's step cousin was more likely circ'ed who is my step-nephew is actually intact by son mention in the shower after the Y pool and I was like way to go for that family .

As he gets older I explains his foreskin functions right now his retraction - pull back foreskin only if he wants too because he is partially retractable .

When he gets into more knowing about puberty stuff I will have him read the foreskin curriculm on the internet or print it off. Say this is what he needs to Read .

Also, proably around that time when they are showing puberty videos at school I will have him watch the prepuce video online .

I also teach him he doesn't have to be doing what others do or act what other do's.

I say to him some parents do things that can risk harm to their children by allowing them to ride in the street , with no helmets which is also like circumcision that causes harm but for some reason when something that causes little harm they continue to do it or they assume it causes no harm because they are walking around acting around like normal kids.

I tell him I would try my best from preventing any harm from coming to him by praticing safety skills to keep him safe .

Even when he was a baby I would complain about smoking, drinking , drugs all bad and all yucky . Big bad No No's repeating myself over and over again.

Even when he got older I would mention it makes them sick because it hurts their body .

[tlh]

If he worries that being circumcised is better,just tell him that he has his whole penis and circumcised boys don't.