Formula: have one toe over the line - do I step?

[NEastMomma]

Hi Mamas,
I'd like some opinions on giving my DS (9mos) formula. Pretty long. sorry!

Background: I work part-time and until very recently, DS was either breastfed or given breast milk in bottles, pumped by me. Pumping was alwasy a tiny bit stressful b/c I seem to be always trying to play catch-up and always worrying about how much milk I have in freezer for DS.

He began "solids" at 6 mos and has been eating some fruits, veggies and brown rice at breakfast and supper in addition to (not in place of) breastmilk.

My mom passed away 2 and 1/2 weeks ago. She was on hospice for a week and I stayed by her side through the duration. My DS was with me at times, but my MIL was also kind enough to take him lots too, so I could focus on my mom. During that week I was majorly stressed out and when I did find the time to pump, I didn't get much. As a result, DS ended up having some formula. I am not that upset about it, b/c I am so grateful that I got to be there w/ Mom as she passed and I have no regrets about spending so much time with her. Also, my milk supply is back to normal again, and I'm back on the hampster wheel of pumping stress. And that's okay.

Problem: Ok, so here's my "dilemma." I am thinking about not pumping anymore and keeping DS on formula for when he goes to the babysitter (3 days/week 7:45am - 3pm). There are 2 reasons. 1) It would lift some weight off my shoulders and make life a little less stressful (DH says I am like Scrooge counting coins whenever I go and count my ounces of frozen breastmilk). 2) Ideally I'd like to stary trying for Baby #2 in August (teacher's schedule and b/c I've had an ectopic pregnancy, and will have to put things on hold for another 6mos or more should next pregnancy be ectopic also). It seems like a good time to do this as DS will be eating more and more solids (he wants to grab everything off our plates) and so that combined w/ formula might spark a period?

I will still nurse DS whenever I'm with him for as long as he wants. Will plan to nurse even through pregnancy and beyond. Just feeling guilty / having 2nd thoughts b/c I dont' want to take away from first baby for 2nd. KWIM?

If you've read this far, THANK YOU. Any opinions?

[Forthwith]

I think that it's just fine. Formula isn't poison, it's just another food, and he'll still be getting that breastmilky goodness when he's with you.

[slimkins]

mama>
Not sure which direction of reassurance you are looking for here.
If you need an extra push to keep nursing, then I think you can do it even though it is such a pain in the butt. I know what you are going through. I work 3 days a week and have been pumping since mid January. I feel like I am always playing catch up, too. Last week, I realized, the night before I had to go to work, that I had forgot to put my last batch that I had pumped at work from the day before in the fridge. I had to pour 10 ounces down the drain. I thought i was going to throw up. but you get through it.

However, if you really want to be done with pumping, I think your loved one will be fine. You have done well by doing it this long, and to nurse your LO when you are with him will still be beneficial for him.
Do you co-sleep? Because I have read and heard that a lot of babies will do a reverse cycle nursing and maybe he can get most of his mama's milk from you at night.

either way, good luck with the decision you make!!!!

[MeepyCat]

It sounds just fine to me too - it's a sensible plan that considers the needs of your entire family.

[Sharlla]

i personally would continue the pumping for the next 3 months and use the formula as back up if you run out. i too worry about milk all the time as i woh a lot and shes been sucking down my stash
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[CallMeMommy]

I did this exact thing with DS1, when I started supplementing with formula during daycare he started refusing the BM bottles (which I now know is because of excess lipase, he just didn't like the taste). I figured if he's not drinking it, why am I pumping it? So I stopped, only nursed at night, and he continued nursing until 17 months when I weaned him (stupid on my part, but he was my first and it was a learning curve). It freed me up at work but it kinda sucked on the weekends when I had to mix up formula because I wasn't making milk during the day anymore. With my second I ended up continuing to pump for a year and nursing him until 19 (20?) months when my milk dried up because I got pregnant. As much as I hated pumping I felt better knowing I could continue our nursing relationship the way I wanted to without resorting to formula because I *had* to. So I don't think I really answered your question at all, I just wanted to give you BTDT stories from both sides of the aisle.

[TiredX2]

Are you teaching summer school or do you have the summer off? If you have the summer off (or can nurse during the summer) I would keep pumping until then and then not resume pumping in August. It would only be another month or so, then he could have all bmilk during the summer and when he is older in August he could probably just drink water during the day and nurse when he was with you.

Good luck!

[maplesugar]

When ds was about eight months I worked the same hours as you described. I never pumped or gave formula. He was quite into solids. I would send him to the babysitter with organic yogurt. I think at that age as long as they are nursing when you don't work, they can go without for a bit. I would also consider goat's milk as an alternative. This is just what I did, of course. This was ten years ago. Ds continued to thrive and grow.

My reasoning was that I did not want him to have the nasty things in formula, such as non-organic milk products, soy (now probably gmo), corn products (gmo). Of course there are organic formulas these days, so this may be a non-issue.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by Kelmendi

I think that it's just fine. Formula isn't poison, it's just another food, and he'll still be getting that breastmilky goodness when he's with you.

I too would keep pumping until he's a year, but not worry as much about how much you get. You could maybe keep one bottle/cup of BM for his babysitter and do the other one w/formula.

It could be a slippery slope, though, especially if he stops wanting to nurse or refuses bm bottles. I think if you see that happening, re-evaluate.

And I'm so sorry for your loss.

[waiting2bemommy]

I worked a teacher's schedule too as a special ed para (7-3, september through june) and I stopped pumping 3 times a day when ds was 6 months....he was born in december so when the school year was out in june, I nursed him all summer and when I went back in september, I only pumped once a day (either at work or if I didn't feel like it, then that night after he went to bed. I have a really good supply though that bounces back easily so this didnt mess me up) The rest of his liquids while I was gone were either water, or goat's milk. sometimeall I left him while I was at work was 4 oz...enough for a bottle to help him fall asleep and that was it. He did fine like that and continued to nurse until just before he turned 2.

don't know if that helps any, but I guess I'm sayin that at 9 months, he might be fine with minimal breastmilk during the day and no formula at all. You might be able to pump just once in a while and not every single day multiple times, and he be ok. I personally would prefer my child (at that age) to have more solids than formula.

[star*mora]

i don't think you need to use formula at all

i really like this resource (and have received free advice from dr. newman's clinic with my own breastfeeding challenges in the past)

http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...tion&Itemid=17

"# Babies need to drink milk when the mother is not at home. Not true. Three or four good breastfeedings during a 24-hour period plus a variety of solid foods in goodly amounts gives the baby all he needs nutritionally, and thus he does not need any other type of milk when you are at your outside job. ..
# If the baby is to get milk other than breastmilk, it needs to be artificial baby milk (infant formula) until the baby is at least 9 months of age. Not true. If the baby is breastfeeding a few times a day and getting fair quantities of a variety of solid foods, infant formula is neither necessary nor desirable."

copied and pasted as dr newman permits all info to be provided without further permission

[Ammaarah]

Originally Posted by MeepyCat

It sounds just fine to me too - it's a sensible plan that considers the needs of your entire family.

I agree!

[mamadelbosque]

If your not working over the summer I think I'd try to keep pumping through may and then not restart in august. If your just really, really sick of pumping though, I'd just switch to formula and then try to re-build your daytime supply over the summer, just so you can avoid making bottles (cause' that just sounds like a HUGE PITA to me!! )

[nola79]

I totally agree with the pp that said he'd be fine with minimal breastmilk and no formula. Sounds like he eats a good amount of solids. At 9 months, I personally don't see the point in starting formula. IME, my son was formula fed and I took him off of it at 10 or 11 months b/c he was losing interest in his bottle and was eating solids well.

[bender]

I would just worry that not pumping at work would lower your supply (but I have supply issues). Can you just pump what you can, send it, and if he needs more, use formula? That way he's maximizing breastmilk input, and you aren't going nuts trying to pump enough each day. Plus, as he gets bigger, he can eat more solids, so what you pump might be enough.

[Blueone]

You know, I think it sounds like a great idea. If you're comfortable with it, then go with it. I formula feed full time because it was what worked best for us.

If your supply is good and you still nurse on demand at home, then you should be fine unless you suffer from supply issues.

I don't know what you are looking for in regards to an answer unless you are feeling a bit guilty about making that decision. If you are, then maybe explore why it is you are hesitant.

Don't let others make your decision, it ultimately falls upon you. I don't mean to sound mean or anything. It's just that it seems you are relying on others to make a decision you sort of made peace with.

[NEastMomma]

Thank You

Thanks to all for your replies!

It was so cathartic to get it off my chest (haha) and write out my issue. And I loved reading everyone's wise insights. I am adjusting to doing without my own mother's valuable support and advice and making such a major (to me) decision without any advice is just beyond my abilities right now. I'll get there someday

I've decided to keep pumping once a day on the days I'm at work and cut out the additional two pumps per day that I was doing whether at work or not. This will give him enough bmilk for at least one bottle/day at the sitter and any additional bottles he needs can be for formula. I do think he's leaning towards more food and less milk, so it works out anyway. We cosleep and her nurses all night, so my supply is pretty good. I'll reevaluate in the summer when I'm not working and see what's up.

I also loved the Dr. Newman info and will be reading more on that.

Thanks everyone, again!

[mamadelbosque]

That sounds like a great compromise Good luck!!

[hildare]

I know this is a difficult decision. I'm almost in the same shoes as you-
I had an ectopic before we had dd 6 months ago.. i want the next lo to be close in age and a second ectopic is a big fear for me.
i'm still pumping at 6 mos out, and i am far from loving it. dd nurses all night long especially now that some teeth are coming in, but AF came this month. I don't know that your fertility and cycle are as wrapped up with nursing as people say. if that's your only reason for stopping bf, i'd say wait till august and see what happens. otherwise, the first 6 months are most important for bfing, and you accomplished that! congratulate yourself for that.
i personally plan to continue to pump/nurse as long as i can, just because i made a goal to do it for a year. good luck with your future pregnancy!

[*MamaJen*]

That sounds like a good compromise.
I think nursing is something that should really be highly prioritized in the first six months, which means that even if it's inconvenient you should still take the time to pump, unless it's at the point where it's making you miserable or really really not working for your family. But by about 9 - 12 months, you really have a lot more wiggle room.
I was lucky in that I didn't have to pump, even though I was working full time. I took my baby to work with me full-time for about five months, then transitioned him to an in-home daycare right by my office, and went over twice a day to nurse him. Totally ideal situation. By about 11 or 12 months, I was only going over to nurse once per day, and he was drinking water and eating solids to make up the difference. So that's sort of like what you're proposing -- pumping once per day, and solids or maybe formula as needed. As you get past a year, I think the role of breast milk is different. It becomes more about nutritional supplementation (everyone has a tipping point different point where the baby starts getting more calories from solids than from BM), about immunity boosting, and about emotional comfort and security.
Good luck finding a system that works for your family. I think parenthood is all about constant adaptation, because kids' needs change so quickly as they grow.
I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad that you were able to be with your mom at the end.