Parents of Toddlers & Teens/Preteens

[MommaCheesehead]

Forgive me if these topics have been previously discussed. I just found this forum

When will you let your older children babysit your younger children? My son is almost 12 and I don't feel even close to ready to leave him alone with my 2.5yr old. I think it will be at least 2-3 more years before we'll be crossing that bridge.

I wonder if I would feel differently if he were a she?

[3 Little Monkeys]

I was just going to ask if you'd feel differently if he were a she, then I read the last part of your post :LOL My oldest is 9 and I've just started letting her stay home while I run quicky errands like go get gas, or run to the store,etc. She's a bit too young though to watch the almost 3 yo yet (mainly because the 3 yo is a little terror right now) I feel that when she is 12, she will be able to stay with the little ones, (they will be 5 and 2 1/2 then) for a couple of hours anyway. It's a little different for me though becaue MIL and FIL live up the road (lucky me: ) so if anything came up, she could have someone here in less than a minute.

[ekblad9]

My ds1 (12) took a babysitting class through the Red Cross this past summer. He's very responsible and I've left him many times with the younger kids, though not all at the same time. He's especially good with the 3 year old and 1 year old. I don't leave him at night, though.

[MommaCheesehead]

Does he change diapers Amy? I can't imagine my son ever changing a diaper:LOL He helps an awful lot with the little ones but he draws the line at diaper changes.

[ekblad9]

He's never had to change a diaper but could if need be. I haven't gotten that far yet, LOL:LOL

[grisandole]

I have a 20month old and an 11yo ds. Ds1 helped out alot starting from when ds2 was born; he'd watch him while I was in the shower and stuff. He changes cloth diapers, too!

For some reason, ds1 was better with ds2 as a baby; now that ds2 is a toddler, ds1 wants to play with him more than watch him, and ds2 is more difficult to watch because he is into everything!!

I wouldn't trust him alone at this point, just because I worry that ds1 will turn his back and ds2 will get into something or take off running; but ds1 is pretty responsible, and when ds2 is a bit older, I'll have no problems letting him babysit.

Kristi

[Kerlowyn]

"When will you let your older children babysit your younger children?"

I have a 10.5 year old DS and a 17 month old DS. I don't think that DS1 will be ready for true babysitting for a long, long time! :LOL

He does help. For instance, I work from a home office that is upstairs. If I have to make a few calls, sometimes I will wait till DS gets home from school and have him play with his little brother downstairs while I am on the phone, maybe 15-25 minutes. Most of the time, it works out fine. But, there have been a few times where I go downstairs to find little DS alone in the living room playing with toys, and big DS in his room with the door shut : DS1 tells me he got bored because little DS just wanted to read books

[MommaCheesehead]

I hear you on that Kristina. Damian will "watch" Ben while I fold laundry or jump in the shower. Sometimes I come back to find Ben coloring his hands with markers while Damian is off somewhere doing something else. When I ask him why he isn't keeping an on Ben he'll shrug his shoulders and say "oh, I forgot I was watching him".

That is exactly why he won't be ready to really babysit for a long time:LOL

[Celtain]

I am a lucky, lucky, lucky mommy!!! I have a dd that is 13 and for the most part a wonderful babysitter. My husband and I can go out for dinner.....alone !!!!!!! But my awesome neighbor (mom of 4 is home across the street if an emergency should arise) As for running to the store, had no problem with it since dd2 was about 2 weeks old. (Takes about 15 min max to run to the corner for milk) Like I said, lucky, lucky, lucky mommy!!!!

[MommaCheesehead]

Go out to dinner alone? What is that? :LOL

Go ahead, rub it in

[ekblad9]

I felt really lucky today when I had to take the girls to violin and dance. Ds3 was napping and ds1 agreed to "watch" him. It was so great to not have to wake him up.

[Celtain]

Sorry didn't mean to rub!!! LOL Take heart it has only been twice since the baby's arrived, she's almost 2!!!

[Colorful~Mama]

well

i'm another of those lucky mamas. My daughter is 14.5 now and loves to babysit. For her siblings and for other ppl's kids (cuz they PAY her. lol)

She was 11 when her sis was born and would watch her while i'd shower or fold clothes. At 12 when baby was a year old I'd run to the store real quick. At 13 I left her with her 2yo sister for two hours while she (the baby) was sleeping so dad and I could go out. At just shy of 14, she and her almost 3yo sister begged for me and daddy to go out so they could have "alone time".

Now she'll be 15 in October and dd is 3.5 and ds is 7mos. We went out just this saturday night to a friends birthday party. We were gone from 6:30-9pm. Two and a half hours... just enough time to have a bit of fun and get home in time to nurse the baby to sleep .

I think it totally depends on the child tho.

[3girls1boy]

My 11 and a half year old DD will be babysitting this afternoon. Her siblings are 8, 6, and 3. I started having her watch the two younger ones for a few hours last year when I had to go to some parent/child classes at church with my middle daughter and my DH was at work.

She is very responsible and will take the babysitting course next month. If I just have to run an errand she is expected to be in charge at no charge (as part of her family responsiblities) but if it is a planned thing, then we pay her $2 an hour.

Only during the day, for the most part, although she did do a Friday night recently, because it was the only time we could use some free play tickets and no one in our extended family was available.

She will change diapers, but I just get out a disposable for her then, because I think pinning on a diaper, especially on a wiggly toddler, is not a skill that comes easily.

I do think, that girls this age take to it a bit better than boys.

[Seeking Refuge]

I worry about letting my eleven-year-old take care of her hamster let alone her 30-month-old brother. Although I have let her eight-year-old sister and a friend take him to the park across the street.
DD-11 did take the babysitting course but I am still not comfortable with her ability to handle a crisis situation and not at all comfortable putting her "in charge" of her eight-year-old sister.
Oh the fights that would ensue.

I don't think that the age or sex of the child matters. You have to wait until they exhibit a certain amount of maturity and I know that dd is no where close to being old enough.

[latinmom]

We let dd start babysitting the boys when she was 14 or so (they were 1). Now at 16, she has another job, and a boyfriend, so getting her to sit is next to impossible! We did always pay her for nights out, etc-esp. if she was giving up something. She often just watches the boys for a short time, for which hse gets no pay (just part of family duties). She also abaysat a lot of other kids, starting at 13. It really depends on the kid, and I think it is harder to watch your siblings than other kids, for all sorts of reasons.

[apmomto4]

My oldest daughter will be 13 in 3 weeks and that's old enough to babysit in our state. She's taken two babysitting courses at the hospital and a red-cross course in CPR & First Aid and is certified in both.

I have no hesitations at all with leaving her with all three siblings for short periods of time (i.e., going out to dinner with the hubby, or to a movie, etc.)

I wouldn't leave her for more than 2-3 hours, though, I think, until she's old enough to drive, just in case something happened.

[CincoDeMama]

my oldest is 14.5 (ds) & i can't trust him to watch my 23mo (ds)toddler for more than 30mins-tops. not that my oldest would cause harm, but he wouldn't keep him safe/supervise him longer than 30mins-that seems to be his limit of attention giving to his little brother. so, what do i do? i milk him of 30mins every chance i get!

i also have an 11yo (dd) who is an awesome babysitter. she sits for others all the time, but has only watched my toddler for an hour here & an hour there. always at home, and always with a grown up in the house-but soon we'll try leaving the house & see how she does (& how he does).

i think it depends in the kid, ya know? now, i should mention, when i do leave my little one, i'll be taking all the others (except for the child sitting) with me, so there's no fightinnnnnnng!

[skj474]

I only let DD (almost 12) watch DS (3) when I have to make a quick run to the post office, which is right down the street and ONLY when DS is napping.
She will be taking a baby-sitting class this fall and maybe then she can watch him a little bit longer (so I can go grocery shopping and not spend a fortune.,lol) But not at night, not for a WHILE.

[magemom]

My older two have periods where they are more responsible than other times. Traditionally DD has been very responsible from birth and I have been ok with her alone since 9ish. Her brother... well, at 12 I can leave him alone sometimes
DD is usually really good with one sibling and I can leave all 4 if each older is 'assigned' to a younger one. Recently we had a family emergancy and I had to leave DS1 with DS2 and it was fantastic. I got a full report of what they did, how long DS2 had cried, what they ate and watched on TV. (not allowed outside if I am not home)
2 weeks later while DH was home but doing homework, DS1 lost DS3 and didn't notice he was missing till DH came upstairs. It was only 5 minutes and I had him, but DH was beside himself as DS1 not only didn't know where DS3 was, he didn't answer the phone when I called to say I came home, saw no one and took DS3 with me.
IMO, there is no 'set' age- it depends on the kids.