Living with family~permanently??????

[luvr2girls]

We will have to move in with my in-laws within the next couple of weeks if DH is unable to find work. We have lived with them before~for 8 months each time~this seems to be as long as I can stand it!! However, this time I am TRYING to think of it as a long-term arrangement. They have a large home and are getting older and are really needing help caring for things. Plus my MIL told me that the only reason they are hanging on to their house is so it will be ours one day. My MIL and I are alike in many ways and are fairly close~but we are sooooo different in many other ways and it can drive me CRAZY!!!

I am just wondering if there are other people out there who have combined households and have actually been successful at it. How do you make it work? How so you not allow the other person (MIL) to drive you nuts?
I would love some advice/words of encouragement!! It makes sense on so many levels!!!
Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

[cc_mama]

I wish we could! There's one article at http://www.mothering.com/parenting/p...under-one-roof

and there was one in print a while back, sorry I don't remember what issue.

[mamadelbosque]

Hi there! We moved in with my dad when DS1 was ~2 or 3 months old. It was supposed to be a 'temporoary' solution, but, 3 yrs later, were still here. It can be tense at times, but overall it works out very well. And its nice being able to go away for a weekend w/o having to worry about the house, or the dogs, or anything else. For both us *AND* my dad!!

DH & I have my brothers old room, and DS1 has my old room (in a few more months he'll be sharing with ds2... but for now ds2 still co-sleeps, though his dresser is in there already). My dad has his room above the kitchen still... our house is a bit of an odd setup, as my dad built it over several years in very definet 'stages'. Our rooms are above the family room, which is above the basement (which is 100% storage... mostly of food but also of random other crap too!). Attatched to the family room is the laundry room/bathroom and attatched to the laundry room is the log cabin, where the kitchen is along with a little sitting area, and above the kitchen is my dads room... it makes for almost two seperate houses connected by the bathroom, which is nice cause' it gives us both our own seperate 'areas' to hang out in by ourselves...

We generally eat dinner together, but prepare our own breakfast & lunch, even on the weekends, unless we specifically plan a big lunch (and then fend for ourselves for dinner). I meal plan mon-thurs, and have a general idea of what I could make for fri/sat/sun but am open to ordering pizza or grilling steaks or burgers if someone wants to do that too.

Figure out where 'your' space ends and theres 'begins' - what are the common areas? Thats key. You can't share everythign. You just can't. Even if its not written in stone a general understanding that area x is 'ours' and area y is theres is super important... Good luck!!

[luvr2girls]

See, that is my biggest problem. My MIL has a "formal" living room that is NEVER used~and is more of a storage room for junk(which she has waaaay too much of~another dilemma). I would like to turn this into our family room. I could bring my big entertainment center and have somewhere to entertain MY friends besides our bedroom! So far, no dice! She has nicer furniture in there and does not want it messed up(which is why I want MY stuff). My MIL idolizes material possessions in a way I cannot understand and it has always been an issue with us. Prob the biggest issue in that there is just TOO MUCH STUFF!! I will further try to talk to her about this~it is an important one to me. The good thing is is there is alot of space and she said she is willing to get rid of some things. Gosh, I just go back and forth!!! We do not have a choice to go right now~just am unsure of making it longterm!!! There could be so many benefits if I can just be mature about it! Ugh!!!!

[mamadelbosque]

s it can be rough at times, but overall its worth it. Its great that my boys will get to know their grandpa so well. Not everybody gets to live with their grandpa, even for just a couple years, you know? Part of me still doesn't think we'll really live here 'forever' as it were, but its possible. I can tell you that part of me will be super excited/happy to move out... and another part of me will be very, very sad. And I'll worry about my dad a LOT more... he has a bad back, and a drinking problem, and I know I will worry tons if/when we move out.

Anyhow. I'd just sit your mil down and explain that if she wants ot make this work for you guys long-term, you guys need some space that is 'yours' and that your kids can mess up... else she's just going to be upset all the time, and your going to be walking around on eggshells. And thats no fun!!