Anniversary of my second cesarean and Baby girls birthday and.....

[sjuffs]

I can't believe a year ago I was cut open again. Words can't describe the feelings I am having today and I have know one that understands. I can't believe I got a positive pregnancy test this morning. I don't know what to think or feel. I have a boy that was 4 in march (c/s failure to progress), vbac in Sept 07 so she is 2 1/2 then girl by c/s last may 11th because she stayed breech and no one would support me having a vaginal breech delivery. So my HBAC turned into a repeat cesarean and now only another 20 months later I guess I will be starting my VBA2C journey. I wanted to get pregnant next christmas not now. I am so in pieces today and have no one to talk to because no one wants to listen to my sob story and of course I should be happy its my baby girls birthday.
I just need some support, even though I know everything will probably work out its just a bitter sweet day. It feels like forever until my husband comes home.

[Beccadoula]

OH...I'm so sorry you're alone for all this!!! Just know that it usually takes a while to process those kinds of feelings and they are normal! You should see if there is an ICAN support group near you...really! Even a Laleche league group is likely to have members who can support and listen. Go ahead and have a good cry if you need to!!!

[Isamama]

Big gigantic hugs to you! I completely understand the bittersweetness! Wow, that is a lot to hold. Hoping you find peace in your journey.

[mamabadger]

I can completely relate to your mixed feelings about your baby's birthday. DS#2's birthday is a very happy occasion, but it also happens to be the anniversary of a horrible, frightening surgical event. I keep the two things separate in my mind.

You must feel overwhelmed. I hope you can find better support this time around.