trying to be an advocate, but...

[maptome]

My friend just had her second child a week ago, and she's trying to BF this one after formula feeding her first. And I'm the only person she knows who has "successfully" breastfed. (DD is 9.5 months and only tastes solids) I want to help her, but...I have a lot of negative feelings about nursing. I find myself not having anything encouraging to say.

Me being negative nancy:
It was really hard for me to get started those first few weeks with a latch. DD doesn't find comfort in nursing because of my forceful letdown. She can't NIP because she is so distractible, so we can't go anywhere. She won't drink from a bottle, so I've never had a break. She still has a shallow latch and is biting me all the time until my nipples bleed.

They have NO money for LC, and she just missed the monthly LLL meeting. She really looks to me as a BF role model, but I feel really inadequate. So, how do I get positive in order to help her?

[staceychev]

Does she have an internet connection? Send her here. Seriously!

I'm so sorry that your nursing has been difficult, but not everyone has that experience. She could talk to a wide range of mamas here. A lot of us have found support at MDC that we couldn't have gotten in our real life communities.

[crunchy_mommy]

Could you put her in contact with the LLL leader? Our local leaders are always happy to talk & provide encouragement, maybe that would be enough to tide her over to the next meeting. Also check in FYT if anyone near you guys would be willing to come over (I would but I'm across the country!)

[maptome]

staceychev
She's not really AP-friendly. I wouldn't want to send her here because she disagrees so much, it might turn her off.

crunchy_mommy
Yes, I'll do that.

Thank you both for your help!

[Bokonon]

Originally Posted by Pearl H

staceychev
She's not really AP-friendly. I wouldn't want to send her here because she disagrees so much, it might turn her off.

crunchy_mommy
Yes, I'll do that.

Thank you both for your help!

Maybe send her to Kellymom?

And maybe when you talk to her, focus on WHY you have chosen to breastfeed and why you have found it worth the effort, even though it has been so challenging.

[akind1]

Originally Posted by Pearl H

Me being negative nancy:
It was really hard for me to get started those first few weeks with a latch. DD doesn't find comfort in nursing because of my forceful letdown. She can't NIP because she is so distractible, so we can't go anywhere. She won't drink from a bottle, so I've never had a break. She still has a shallow latch and is biting me all the time until my nipples bleed.

They have NO money for LC, and she just missed the monthly LLL meeting. She really looks to me as a BF role model, but I feel really inadequate. So, how do I get positive in order to help her?

Try to turn these into positives, or focus on whatever is positive. my first few weeks were no picnic either, but I tell people if you can power through that first month or 6 weeks, you will be fine (in most cases). I am honest, it IS hard, but it is worth it! I love that I am the FOOD and therefore the most important person to DS! Remind yourself and her of all the benefits for both of mama and baby of nursing. it helps your uterus shrink. It might keep AF away. it is the most nutritious food for baby, no need to worry about chemicals and stuff.

I can't think of one thing that formula feeding offers that makes it better than breastfeeding. it isn't really more convenient to formula feed. your partner can still help with breastmilk bottles - or cups or medicine droppers. and is sure isn't any cheaper to FF! That alone for me, was enough to help me push through the difficult times. (and we might have more to come; DS hasn't yet had a tooth break the surface)

[goodygumdrops]

I would still call an LC. You may get a referral to someone who works on a sliding scale. Most LC's are going to have hard time turning away a mama even if they can't pay.

If you want, PM me and I can give you my email. I am a CLC, studying for the test next year.

The best thing is to be honest. 96% of nursing mothers had nipple pain in the first two weeks of nursing. Support her and help her with her latch, make sure baby is gaining and having enough poop diapers.

Your an awesome friend to be so concerned...I'm sure she'll be fine.