I say "hello again" because it's been a long time since I've been here.
I say "kind of" because I was never that regular here.
But I'm finding myself in need of some like-minded mamas with similar experiences so here I am.
A little intro, to start--I'm a 36 yo NJ native, very happily married, SAHM to 4 kids. Dd is 9, Ds is 8, they are my bio-kids.
Ds2 is 4, he was a foster baby that came home to us as an infant from the hospital where he was born. Dad unknown, no bio-family ever involved, still took a long time to adopt him (surprise!) Right before he turned 2, a baby half-brother was born. They called us, we said yes. He started visits with his parents a few weeks after he came home to us (also came to us from hospital). At first it was extremely difficult for me but as time went on, it became a blessing instead. We have a good relationship. It's still amazing to me that Ds2 got to meet his mom, we never ever thought we would.
They have done so well, completed rehab, got engaged, etc, etc. But after 2 years, still no job nor home and the state was pushing for termination of their rights. We had a mediation and they relinquished their rights to us. It was very emotional and dh and I had to grieve for them. We exchanged safe phone #s and addresses.
We were supposed to have one last visit (they got rides to our county) and they didn't show. I think it was too soon, too hard, because we got to try again a few weeks later and it was fine.
Bio-mom and I text regularly and I have mailed them some things.
I haven't mentioned visiting in person yet, even though I am open to it, because I want to just take it slow and see how just going in touch goes.
So that's it in a nutshell, there are of course tons of details left out here.
I'm mainly wondering if there are any mamas here navigating open adoption after foster care?
I say "kind of" because I was never that regular here.
But I'm finding myself in need of some like-minded mamas with similar experiences so here I am.
A little intro, to start--I'm a 36 yo NJ native, very happily married, SAHM to 4 kids. Dd is 9, Ds is 8, they are my bio-kids.
Ds2 is 4, he was a foster baby that came home to us as an infant from the hospital where he was born. Dad unknown, no bio-family ever involved, still took a long time to adopt him (surprise!) Right before he turned 2, a baby half-brother was born. They called us, we said yes. He started visits with his parents a few weeks after he came home to us (also came to us from hospital). At first it was extremely difficult for me but as time went on, it became a blessing instead. We have a good relationship. It's still amazing to me that Ds2 got to meet his mom, we never ever thought we would.
They have done so well, completed rehab, got engaged, etc, etc. But after 2 years, still no job nor home and the state was pushing for termination of their rights. We had a mediation and they relinquished their rights to us. It was very emotional and dh and I had to grieve for them. We exchanged safe phone #s and addresses.
We were supposed to have one last visit (they got rides to our county) and they didn't show. I think it was too soon, too hard, because we got to try again a few weeks later and it was fine.
Bio-mom and I text regularly and I have mailed them some things.
I haven't mentioned visiting in person yet, even though I am open to it, because I want to just take it slow and see how just going in touch goes.
So that's it in a nutshell, there are of course tons of details left out here.
I'm mainly wondering if there are any mamas here navigating open adoption after foster care?
