Please come vent with me! - Page 2

[chattyprincess]

Originally Posted by jennica

I have the opposite problem. No one seems to realize that I am pregnant. I am having some hip and pelvic discomfort so I waddle around like half the time and people say things like, "are you okay, you are walking funny". Then I say, "well, I'm pregnant, so...." and then they give the shocked, "oh, really? you don't look pregnant!" I think I look pregnant of course, but apparently everyone else just thinks I just have a really fat stomach I don't know what else to do to make it more clear. I waddle around and wear maternity clothes, yet it's not obvious to anyone. This happened with Ds too, I am overweight and I carry really tucked in, so I guess it is hard to tell. And then I get a lot of comments of, "oh, that is great that you aren't showing yet!" Which is so confusing to me. Why is that "great"? Are pregnant women so disgusting to look at that you would rather I not look pregnant when I am? Or do you actually think not showing that much yet = not feeling any symptoms of pregnancy. Hello, the baby is still just as big and weighs the same amount as every other 7 month pregnant woman's fetus does! I feel far worse this pregnancy than I did with Ds and am having a lot of discomfort in the pelvic area because baby dropped right down into it this time. I didn't feel this way with Ds until the last week, and I still have 3 months to go!

ummm yeah, seriously! If another person says it must be so nice to be so small I will throw something...probably a tantrum!
I am not "huge" but am pretty small, if I wear a baggy shirt/outerwear people wonder pregnant/fat. I think I look like I have a hugo stomach and sure as hell feel like it! Especailly with all the sciatic pain.
I still have a huge baby in there thank you I just happen to be quite long from hip to ribs which makes shirt buying highly inconvenient but apparently means I can "hide my condition" longer then most. grr. I hurt, I have a 31wk baby in my belly thank you jerkwads.

[lrgs]

queenofchaos.........yikes, I definitely would not have the energy for a puppy right now and I'm only having one baby!! Some days I can barely manage to keep DD and myself fed, clothed and happy.

chattyprincess.........sciatic nerve pain is my nemesis right now....OUCH! It makes it really hard to get much done.......the other day DD and I had a bath and I almost got stuck in the tub!

I think I really needed a vent thread! I'm glad we can all co-miserate together. I don't want to be negative but I so need to vent right now. DH and I just finished our house hunting trip, which was EXHAUSTING! Things seem to be starting to pick up in the area we are buying and it was near impossible to find something decent, in our price range. We ended up finding something and having our offer accepted in pretty much the last hour of the last day of the trip. Anyway, it's a new house and the builder said it would be done on or BEFORE June 11th. We lose our house on June 1st but are covered through work for interim accomodations (hotel, etc) for a couple weeks so we figured we could manage a week or so in a hotel. Now they have non-chalantly said they are thinking June 28th First of all......not looking forward to living in a hotel room or a bedroom at my parents house with DH and DD and second, that leaves me a grand total of 3 weeks to nest and get set up for this LO...........if s/he waits until due date to be born. I know it's possible and I don't have too much to get ready but I'd really rather have more time.........we moved 7 days before DD was born and I didn't want to rush again. I also wanted to just relax with DD for the last of our time before the baby comes. Work won't cover us past 14 days so we'll be out of pocket for hotel but will probably just cram into my mom's basement to avoid paying for a hotel.

Also......our dog needs to have dental surgery and the vet up here quoted us $1600 to do it. This is dh's dog he got while we were dating but before we lived together. I normally really like dogs but I can't stand this dog, he's so dumb and never listens (I've tried so hard).......I feel bad saying it but I just don't like him, I think he's turned me into a cat person. Anyway.....the dog is in pain and we aren't going to let him suffer but yikes I hate spending that money. Thankfully we've found a vet who has quoted a much lower price but I'm still thinking it will be around $800.

And finally........I just can't help being emotional and annoyed at everything! I remember feeling like this last time I was pg but man am I ever unpleasant! Sometimes rightfully so but others.........it's a little much.

[Surfacing]

Hello Mothers, a great big group hug to this thread

Here too people comment on how big I am and I just say, "Yeah I usually get really huge." Or "I love it!", smile and rub my belly. The rest of them can go to H***.

I don't have much to complain about other than FATIGUE!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear I need a 3 or 4 day work week (max) instead of 5, and I need a good afternoon nap everyday. Not that I get it, working FT 5 days/wk. Today I'm staying home sick, just need to take care of myself as I am getting too exhausted and my braxton-hicks are HARDCORE!!!!!! I feel like I have to breathe through them sometimes. Crazy.

Hoping for a massage today.

I'm feeling really emotional too which I haven't in awhile. I feel like curling in a ball and crying for no good reason. Maybe I need a good movie...

[craft_media_hero]

My MIL does this, too! She pretty much tells me I look like crap and humongous every time I see her. REALLY rude and irritating. I'm right on measurements for dates, too, and have even been a little behind up until now. And she has to say how I look soooo tired and worn out lately (me- "really? huh, I feel great and thought I was looking sexier than ever!") like wth is that supposed to mean? It's really degrading . . .

The other bone I have with her is how she CANNOT stop saying how, oh I hope that baby doesn't get too big, I'm soooo worried about you, I think you might (ominously) "need a doctor's help" (implying c-section) if the baby gets too big; you're just a very small woman (really? grrr! short slight women have big babies all the time all over the world!!), even asking my midwife to predict how big the baby will be and if I'll be able to birth it to which my midwife and I both responded with a long detailed conversation describing the astounding powers of the cervix and vagina.

She also informed me today that I'm in my third trimester. Huh. I must have od'd on stupid pills this morning; I don't even know what trimester I'm in.

I really think that in a way it's a displaced form of jealousy or something. Understanding where it's coming from doesn't make it right or any less rude, though.

Sorry you're dealing with the rude MIL syndrome! Why do people think it's okay to comment on how HUUUUGE we are! Like social graces disappear when a woman is pregnant.

[oddduck]

I still have coworkers that don't clue in that I'm pregnant... opposite problem. I wear a uniform golf shirt for my job (IT) -- now wearing 2XL vs my M/L's before pregnancy. And my bump is reduced to looking like I ate too much for lunch.

Even when I start to mention getting my leave application in soon, they ask - oh what for?

[queenofchaos]

Originally Posted by craft_media_hero

My MIL does this, too! She pretty much tells me I look like crap and humongous every time I see her. REALLY rude and irritating. I'm right on measurements for dates, too, and have even been a little behind up until now. And she has to say how I look soooo tired and worn out lately (me- "really? huh, I feel great and thought I was looking sexier than ever!") like wth is that supposed to mean? It's really degrading . . .

The other bone I have with her is how she CANNOT stop saying how, oh I hope that baby doesn't get too big, I'm soooo worried about you, I think you might (ominously) "need a doctor's help" (implying c-section) if the baby gets too big; you're just a very small woman (really? grrr! short slight women have big babies all the time all over the world!!), even asking my midwife to predict how big the baby will be and if I'll be able to birth it to which my midwife and I both responded with a long detailed conversation describing the astounding powers of the cervix and vagina.

She also informed me today that I'm in my third trimester. Huh. I must have od'd on stupid pills this morning; I don't even know what trimester I'm in.

I really think that in a way it's a displaced form of jealousy or something. Understanding where it's coming from doesn't make it right or any less rude, though.

Sorry you're dealing with the rude MIL syndrome! Why do people think it's okay to comment on how HUUUUGE we are! Like social graces disappear when a woman is pregnant.

Well, after reading this I guess I should thank my lucky stars that my MIL is pretty much ignoring me right now. LOL I am sorry she has foot-in-mouth disease so rampantly. Does she always lack a filter, or just since you've been pg?

[craft_media_hero]

Originally Posted by queenofchaos

Well, after reading this I guess I should thank my lucky stars that my MIL is pretty much ignoring me right now. LOL I am sorry she has foot-in-mouth disease so rampantly. Does she always lack a filter, or just since you've been pg?

She always lacks a filter, but much worse directed toward me since I've been pregnant.

I think she might actually have some kind of "missing social cues" disorder or something; it's hard going out with her like to dinner or whatever because she always manages to say something really politically incorrect/borderline racist. I do love the woman, but it blows my mind that she either doesn't know or care that she's being offensive.

[queenofchaos]

Originally Posted by craft_media_hero

She always lacks a filter, but much worse directed toward me since I've been pregnant.

I think she might actually have some kind of "missing social cues" disorder or something; it's hard going out with her like to dinner or whatever because she always manages to say something really politically incorrect/borderline racist. I do love the woman, but it blows my mind that she either doesn't know or care that she's being offensive.

Oh, one of those. I married one of those. He's gotten better, but he still leaves me speechless sometimes. I have you tried telling her how offensive she is? I don't mean on her level. But I have found that those that lack a filter (my DH isn't the only one I know), CAN learn better.

[lyshy]

OH OH OH!!!! I could go on and on and on too! I have a friend (who has never been pregnant) tell me that if everyone could have easy pregnancies and birth like I do they would all be doing it all the time. That annoys me so much. Yes this will be my third in 3.5 years but that doesn't mean that it is always easy!!! Maybe I need to whine and complain alot more to them just so they know that I go through alot of the same things they do. Oh and then she had the heart to tell me that I look really wide this time... um thanks... not what I wanted to hear from a size 0 friend when I am a 12-14 pre preggo. Just don't say anything if you haven't got anything nice to say.

And my DH... well I can have a day of exhaustion between waking with the kids at night and walking this big belly around and he can come home with a head ache at the end of the day and nap for two hours in the chair. He knows that no matter what things will get done so there is no need to help bath or change the 3 year old and 2 year old before bed... Nope thats all my job... because he has a head ache, sore feet, sore back... anything... the list goes on and on and on.

[moonmama22]

Originally Posted by Surfacing

Hello Mothers, a great big group hug to this thread

Here too people comment on how big I am and I just say, "Yeah I usually get really huge." Or "I love it!", smile and rub my belly. The rest of them can go to H***.

I don't have much to complain about other than FATIGUE!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear I need a 3 or 4 day work week (max) instead of 5, and I need a good afternoon nap everyday. Not that I get it, working FT 5 days/wk. Today I'm staying home sick, just need to take care of myself as I am getting too exhausted and my braxton-hicks are HARDCORE!!!!!! I feel like I have to breathe through them sometimes. Crazy.

Hoping for a massage today.

I'm feeling really emotional too which I haven't in awhile. I feel like curling in a ball and crying for no good reason. Maybe I need a good movie...

This is me exactly! I'm so tired all of a sudden and it frustrates me so so much... I'm used to being the kind of person who can go all day long, and now I just so darn tired all the time the last week or two. I keep thinking I'm so done with being pregnant (not that I want the LO to be born early, obviously...) but I think it's more that I'm just done with having to work. I would love to be able to stay home for these last 7 weeks... And BH like crazy lately - they do sometimes take my breath away, or make my legs feel weak...

[craft_media_hero]

Originally Posted by lyshy

And my DH... well I can have a day of exhaustion between waking with the kids at night and walking this big belly around and he can come home with a head ache at the end of the day and nap for two hours in the chair. He knows that no matter what things will get done so there is no need to help bath or change the 3 year old and 2 year old before bed... Nope thats all my job... because he has a head ache, sore feet, sore back... anything... the list goes on and on and on.

Ugh, yeah! I love my partner, but it drives me crazy when I've had a "challenging" day solo parenting, and he comes home and takes a three hour nap! Hi, nice to see you, TAG, you're it! and I want to run out of the house! But I know he'll just sleep anyways and dd will be sitting around pretty much by herself playing, so I just keep towing the parent line. He is pretty great and helps a lot more than some I know, but he is a serious napper! And I guess I resent it sometimes. Plus, I'm lonely! And I want him to come home and hang out with me!

[Terrilein]

Ugh! Just when DP earned my respect for not only taking over dd while I was in the hospital, but also her BFF and let her stay overnight. He did forget some important stuff while I was in the hospital, but I let it slide since he had his hands full and wasn't used to the responsibilities of dealing with two elementary school girls. I'd asked him just to bring me my toothbrush, pyjamas and a towel for my overnight stay. He brought me a ton of stuff including my bathrobe which I couldn't use since I couldn't shower with the tights they put on me. So he picked that stuff up the next day plus some stuff from my backpack (from our outing) that was dd's, like her sweater. But he left both bags with all this stuff of mine (and dd's) it in the parking garage! But I didn't say anything because he was probably horrbily distracted due to the girls. Soooo, yesterday he was gone from midafternoon until about 8 pm. I spent the day doing laundry and chillin' on the couch. I guess he didn't get the laundry part. And I'm in the middle of reading a new book, so no, I don't want to watch TV, but I did put it down and watch some with him anyways. In bed he wanted to snuggle up and I let him, but no untowardly moves because my belly still hurts. I spent the night as usual getting up repeatedly to pee and moan my way through another heartburn attack. I was totally whacked this morning and still had to function to feed the cats, make coffee and get dd off to school. And what about him??? He gave me the silent treatment this morning! He left today on a business trip and won't be back until Friday evening. He was really going to just say "see you" and leave until I protested and he managed to give me a peck on the lips. But he's pullling some guilt trip crap on me today and I'm pissed as hell. Now I'm GLAD he's gone all week. Maybe I'll get some peace and quiet for a change.

[Loving1]

I grunt when I get up or sit down. I do a combined shuffle/wobble. I walk slowly and I lean against something when I'm standing. I take an audible breath when I reach my destination. Some of the slowness is me taking extra caution because I have stitches holding my hooha shut (emergency cerclage).

I have 12 pounds of extra weight hanging off the front of my body, not to mention the other 8 pounds of fluid and other stuff for goodness sakes! My organs are being displaced so it takes me a moment to catch my breath. My daughter enjoys resting on my bladder so when I get up I feel the full like I'm about to gush urine on top of everything else.

I don't need a comment on every move and sound I make! Telling me that you don't think I'm going to make it to my due date does not help.

[Terrilein]

I just wish I could actually relax for the rest of this pregnancy. There's just too much going on. And I would have posted about it sooner, but 1) I didn't really have the time and 2) I feel like I'm such a wet blanket.
We had our car accident last Thursday and I didn't get home until Friday night. On Monday dd had a BMX accident in our local skate & park indoor park. She cut her upper lip and has cut inside her nose, but she's fine. However, we did end up going to a different hospital after the children's hospital due to her nose. They just weren't staffed or equipped for those kinds of problems (her nose wouldn't stop bleeding). DD must have an army of guardian angels - she crashed into a wall on the bmx and then wacked her face on the handlebars. She could have broken a number of bones and/or teeth, but she didn't. For that I'm very grateful. But that meant staying up half the night with her and not being able to sleep in my preggo condition anyways. DP is away this week on business and I was hoping to get some much needed rest. Nope! And he's bombarding me with emails asking me to do X, Y, and Z or phoning me to see what we're up to. I've got to get us to three different doctors offices tomorrow - one for her nose, one for her lip and one for me! I've got some funky pimple/absess growing on my inner thigh. I wanted to go see a doc about it this morning, but was too exhausted. Now I feel like DP is getting pushy about his To Do list for me, and I'm not liking it one bit. It took him over two months to finally sit down and get his finances straightened out for the coming changes, but he won't give me a single f'ing day to recupperate much less work on his nifty little list.

[queenofchaos]

Originally Posted by Terrilein

I just wish I could actually relax for the rest of this pregnancy. There's just too much going on. And I would have posted about it sooner, but 1) I didn't really have the time and 2) I feel like I'm such a wet blanket.
We had our car accident last Thursday and I didn't get home until Friday night. On Monday dd had a BMX accident in our local skate & park indoor park. She cut her upper lip and has cut inside her nose, but she's fine. However, we did end up going to a different hospital after the children's hospital due to her nose. They just weren't staffed or equipped for those kinds of problems (her nose wouldn't stop bleeding). DD must have an army of guardian angels - she crashed into a wall on the bmx and then wacked her face on the handlebars. She could have broken a number of bones and/or teeth, but she didn't. For that I'm very grateful. But that meant staying up half the night with her and not being able to sleep in my preggo condition anyways. DP is away this week on business and I was hoping to get some much needed rest. Nope! And he's bombarding me with emails asking me to do X, Y, and Z or phoning me to see what we're up to. I've got to get us to three different doctors offices tomorrow - one for her nose, one for her lip and one for me! I've got some funky pimple/absess growing on my inner thigh. I wanted to go see a doc about it this morning, but was too exhausted. Now I feel like DP is getting pushy about his To Do list for me, and I'm not liking it one bit. It took him over two months to finally sit down and get his finances straightened out for the coming changes, but he won't give me a single f'ing day to recupperate much less work on his nifty little list.

I hope you get some rest soon, you need it! My DH just loves to give me 'honey-dos' and he doesn't seem to get that I am having trouble just doing the basics. He gets pissy when I forget or just get too exhausted. I know he's working a lot of hours, but that doesn't mean I am capable of picking up the slack. I understand how you feel!

[Terrilein]

Just wanted to get some more crap off my chest that came up today. Do skip my drama if it just brings you down.

I guess I must just be so sleep deprived that I can't see halfway past my own nose. DP bugged me some weeks back wanting infos about my previous relationships (2 divorces with dd's father inbetween). It became immediately obvious that he had a theory going that he wanted confirmed: that my ex-DH's cheated on me because I was refusing them sex (NOT true) and that dd's father turned into a raging idiot/jerk for the same reason (again NOT true). Now this past week he's been pestering me to get an appointment with my psychiatrist about my depression. While I am seriously overdue to see her, it wasn't in my power the last month for a variety of reasons, one of them being that she was sick herself. And this week I've been busy tending to my dd's wounds and doctor visits. And, of course, I need to take care of my needs, too. You know, SLEEP. So today I got a strange email from DP - I needed to take care of getting an appointment and that I've got a doctor's appointment in 5 minutes. WTF? He's away on business. I don't have a public online calendar and even if I did I had no doctor's appt. this AM, but I did have another appointment, and I didn't know that he was aware of my pedicure plans made a month ago. So. . . . I got his mail at approx. noon and had to ask what he meant or if he was so bold as to make appointments for me without asking me first. And then I had to ask why this is all of a sudden so important to him. In the first trimester he was miffed that I was still seeing my psychiatrist. Today he actually tried to diagnose me as suffering from middle-grade depression. And it just sounds to me (again) that he's not REALLY interested in my health - mental or preggo or otherwise - but just in finding answers to the question burning in his mind: when will I have sex again. It's all about his needs and not about my health at all. And this is really crossing the line. I wrote him back, trying to be nice and pointing out and asking my own questions. I haven't received an answer yet.

Recently he was all over dd's case, too, and I kept having to defend her. On one occasion he suggested she needed counceling. On another, she ought to have bloodwork done simply because she was a little pale. There's NOTHING wrong with my dd. We haven't had any sunshine in a month, so it's no wonder she's not rosy cheeked. EVERYONE thinks she's an angel, her teacher dotes on her, etc pp. I think he's just jealous of the time I spend with her - you know, it's my job as her MOTHER. She, on the other hand, confided to me recently that she's jealous of all the attention he's getting/claiming from me. And indeed, I do feel like I have no me-time when both are around. They practically take it in turns to take up my time. It's maddening. I do have some sympathy for dd. Afterall, she's a child and has been in the hospital twice this past week. DP, however, is an adult. I'd appreciate it so much if he'd act like one.

[somegirl99]

to Terrilein, I don't know what to say, your DP is behaving badly.