Creative Correction study-what to do???

[farmwife]

My church will be hosting a women's bible study this summer based on the book "Creative Correction." While a part of me wants to go because I enjoy being around the women, I'm dreading what is taught in this book! I've only read the reviews online so I haven't actually read it myself, but some parts have already made me mad!

On the other hand, I have a feeling this could be a good opportunity to share why we don't spank. I know the other moms spank. My stomach has turned while I've seen one of them do it. Maybe this will be my "in" to share how we use GD.

Any thoughts? How do I tactfully tell the leader that while I want to attend I have major reservations about the book?

[Just1More]

I don't care much for that book, and I have read most of it...I actually bought it on the recommendation of a friend. The author's tactics come across as mean, IMO.

But, I don't agree with the underlying method and purpose of discipline taught in the book, and, actually, I'm not talking about the spanking. The whole method/philosophy is "off" to me, and I can't see how it will truly rear Christian children.

That said, I would probably go. I would carefully take every opportunity to question the philosophy, not judge the content. Does that make sense? I would verse after verse, example after example, question WHY the author makes the recommendations she does.

[justKate]

Originally Posted by farmwife

Any thoughts? How do I tactfully tell the leader that while I want to attend I have major reservations about the book?

Well I guess if you are going to go, you'll have to read the book. If the book advocates physical punishment, then I would probably not go because it would make me uncomfortable to hear of other's "successes" using physical punishment on their children.

Is there any possibility that the leader would include a GD-friendly book as a part of the group's reading list? It might be neat to compare/contrast the different discipline styles. Having a basis for comparison would also add depth to the discussion, teach tolerance of others' decisions, that all people (even little ones) are deserving of respect, etc. Maybe you could have some suggested reading on hand...I'm sure others here will suggest something.

ETA: Just1More, congrats on your new baby-to-be!

[One_Girl]

I don't think you should go to a class if the book advocates hitting kids and everyone is on board with that. Talking about your views on this in a group that is focused on learning how to hit their kids the right way is probably going to back fire. If you can stomach being ganged up on by moms who think this is the way to go then maybe it would be good, but I don't think you should go to a class you don't agree with just to spread your POV. I have found that putting my energy into things like that drain me, worry me, and make me a worse mother. I think you should focus on raising your child the way you believe is best without getting involved in something that is stressful and unlikely to change.

[Just1More]

From what I've gathered from the book so far, is that while the author is absolutely pro-spank, her point in writing is that there are lots of other things you can do...hence the "creative" part. Yes, there is a section on the whole "how to spank" bit, as to be expected, but it's actually not the thrust of the book. This book, more than others, has the potential to be a spring board to eye-opening conversation, IMO.

(I just went to flip through it, and can't find it right off, so there may be more in there than I remember, FTR. I tend to just skim those parts, blah, blah, blah...y/k.)

(justkate...thanks!)

[CatsMom129]

Originally Posted by justKate

Is there any possibility that the leader would include a GD-friendly book as a part of the group's reading list? It might be neat to compare/contrast the different discipline styles. Having a basis for comparison would also add depth to the discussion, teach tolerance of others' decisions, that all people (even little ones) are deserving of respect, etc. Maybe you could have some suggested reading on hand...I'm sure others here will suggest something.

Maybe the Sears Christian Parenting book?

[NiteNicole]

So the whole study group is based on that book? Because if so, I don't think signing up and then going to argue about it is really the right thing to do. If I signed up for a group based on gentle Christian parenting and someone else signed up just to tell me how much better spanking is, I would be ticked and we would all agree that was way out of line.

If it's not something you agree with, don't go.

[farmwife]

Thanks for all your replies. I did get a chance to flip through the book. I have spent way too much time and energy worrying about this! I have decided to go and bring some GD books along with me. Biblical Parenting is a book I love that provides a sound-Biblical basis for not spanking. If the opportunity arises, I hope to be "armed" with Biblical refrences for GD. I guess I feel like if I don't go at all, I'll never get a chance to share what works for us. THis is the first "parenting-type" class our church has ever offered, so I don't know how often I'll get the chance to talk to other mamas about GD.

[quietserena]

Have you considered organizing your own workshop as a response to this one? You can frame it as a response or frame it as a separate thing, maybe with an inflammatory title. It can become a series of parenting workshops, perhaps creating a dialogue between the spanking and non-spanking factions.

[phathui5]

I read the book years ago and I remember thinking how cruel it all was. There are parts that are less painful to read, but it's mostly horrible.

The thing I really don't like about the book is the mindset it encourages, that you can do whatever you want to kids to get them to obey. She really ignores the fact that they're people too.

I would skip the study. I did find when I read the book that I kinda had to detox afterwards because I ended up not treating my children well after I read it.

[Just1More]

[QUOTE=phathui5;15458395]

The thing I really don't like about the book is the mindset it encourages, that you can do whatever you want to kids to get them to obey. She really ignores the fact that they're people too.

QUOTE]

That's a really good way of explaining how I felt about it.

[RachelJoy]

Maybe if you decide to go it would be a good way to exert your opinioin and views on the whole issue. If you are looking for a good Christian book that I think it pretty gentle "think it through" discipline check out "Loving our kids on purpose" by Danny Silk. It has totally changed the way I think about discipline.