bedtimes and naptimes with two younguns-- please help!!!!

[cicely_m]

I have a just-turned two year old and a 3-month old. The baby is reaching the stage where she can't just fall asleep anywhere at any time and is needing some sort of nap/bedtime winddown routine. However, any time I try to put her to sleep, the toddler barges in and whines and clings or bangs things around or tries to play with the baby. Then at nighttime (I'm on my own all day-- DH doesn't get home until very late), I don't know how to do the toddler's bedtime without the baby screaming.
PLEASE-- anyone survived this? Please tell me what to do!!!

[JessBB]

Honestly, television.

[mama_ani]

For naptime once the baby got to the "doesn't just fall asleep wherever" stage I would put baby up in a carrier and go about my day. Maybe I was just lucky but she'd fall asleep - sometimes I could lay her down, sometimes I couldn't.

For nighttime I would lay with my older child while s/he falls asleep while breastfeeding the baby (in the case of my youngest, the older ones were on bottles so I'd give them a bottle) and then sneak out once the older one was asleep.

[lookatreestar]

Originally Posted by JessBB

Honestly, television.

there have been a few times where we all fell asleep nursing (we are tandem nursing) but that has been pretty rare.

[Joyster]

I tried to have something special for DS1 whenever I knew I was going to be busy with DS2. A sticker book, play doh, whatever wasn't too messy or sticky and would buy me 20 minutes. Heck, even TV or a short movie. Sometimes motherhood is about survival.

[Heidi74]

I have two boys, age almost three, and 9 months. We also use DVDs for this purpose, and if I'm alone with them at night that is definitely what I end up doing. I get them both ready for bed, let DS1 watch a DVD while I put DS2 to bed, and then read and put DS1 to bed. I don't like to use the TV as a babysitter, but it's not easy having two little ones and for now, that's what works.

For naps, my best strategy is to make use of a comfortable double stroller, and take them both for a walk around the block. My two take almost all their naps in the stroller. DS1 is at the point where he is starting to give up naps, and I could easily spend an hour battling with him if I tried to get him to sleep in his bed. With another LO around, I don't have time for that. So, the stroller is how we do it. DS1 falls asleep that way, and about half the time, DS2 will go down for a nap at the same time.

I do this regardless of the weather (barring blizzards and hailstorms of course)--today it was raining and I put the raincover on the stroller and my raingear on. Both the seats recline fully, and have lambskins in them to make them comfortable. In the winter, they have stroller sleeping bags-otherwise, we just use blankets. DS1 likes to have a light toddler pillow in there too. (Since he is almost three, I'm OK with that.) When we get home, I just remove the blankets and let them continue napping in the hallway.

The other advantage to having the stroller be their regular napping spot is that DS2 can be sleeping while I take DS1 to the playground or on other errands using public transportation. Also, if DS2 doesn't fall asleep during DS1s tnaptime, he gets some fresh air and a nice walk. So do I.

Of course, you would need a comfortable double stroller to do this, but that's my two cents.

[jtbuko]

Sleep was hard for us so I picked my battles.

I finally gave up on napping in beds... sometimes we dozed in a pile on couch with TV or books, but more often I wore whoever needed to sleep or timed car trips and brought a book, or pushed in the stroller for naps. This is not an option for everyone but worked well for us.

Evening... routine helped. It got better with age.

[Chicky2]

Originally Posted by Joyster

I tried to have something special for DS1 whenever I knew I was going to be busy with DS2. A sticker book, play doh, whatever wasn't too messy or sticky and would buy me 20 minutes. Heck, even TV or a short movie. Sometimes motherhood is about survival.

This. Also I often wore whichever one needed to sleep at the time (I had 2 who were 25 mos apart). We also tandemed for 8 months, so that did help sometimes.

Motherhood is OFTEN about survival, lol. Often.

I remember introducing "mandatory quiet time" w/an Elmo video when my son was about 3 mos old and my dd was 2. I also introduced popcorn. Wow was that a hit!

Good luck! It is so hard to get a routine down when they are so close. In the next few months time, though, a routine will just kind of fall into place, or at least it did for me and several others I know.

ETA: I just remembered that sometimes I would put Baby in the swing or boucy seat in the bathroom floor while I just let my 2 yo play in the bath. The littlest one would usually fall asleep.

[cicely_m]

Thanks for the advice. DD2 just went through a phase where she would literally only sleep while attached to my boob, 24 hours a day. Thank the good lord, that has ended at night time at least. Naps... I've given up on beds, too. The baby gets a Milky Nap while I sit and watch the toddler play. Otherwise, she screams as soon as I put her down. Nighttime I currently just nurse through the toddler's bedtime ritual, then put the baby down when she's really asleep, then go back and give extra cuddles to the toddler. It sucks because they both actually need to go to bed at the same time.

[RachelJoy]

I remember (it's amazing that I can remember ANYTHING from that hazy time period ) that when Sam was two and Kate was just born at night time I would put baby in the wrap and get Sam ready for bed. Those first few weeks/months my family was really really supportive. Inevitably someone would come over in the evening and bathe Sam (usually my sister Michaela with her lo) then after two kids were clean she would read books and I would either pop Kate in the wrap Or lay her down in her basket and go help Sam get to sleep. It wasn't long after Kate was born that Sam started going to sleep on his own. But that's how I survived. For Naptime both of my kids slept in the wrap until they were about 6-8mo old. The wrap is seriously how I ever got ANYTHING done. I don't know how any attached parent ever ever ever survives without using some type of carrier. I know "mainstream" parents just let their little ones cry but that is never an option at our house. I would use and abuse any wrap or carrier that you can get your hands on

[Reebekah]

i have 3 boys ages 4 and under, and somehow i have managed to get them on a pretty good schedule. the baby naps 3 times a day...for nap 1 i put him in a pack and play in the livingroom for a nap while the other ones watch a pbs tv show or educational video (leap frog, etc)....for nap 2, which is the long nap after lunch for all three kids, i put the baby in a swing in my bedroom, then i put the other 2 in their bedrooms for naps and this gives me a break during the day to clean or rest or whatever i need to do......for nap 3 in the early evening, i put the older boys at the table with something that will take awhile (popsicle, coloring, etc) while i put the baby down for a nap, then i join them. i will admit that i did not use a binky for my first 2 kids, but i have had to resort to a binky for my 3rd because sometimes i HAVE to lay him down with his binky and blanket because i'm too busy with the others to rock him or nurse him to sleep. my kids go to bed at around 8pm.....for the first several months #3's life, i had to put him in a swing at night while i put the others to bed, then transfer him to a crib later.....only recently have i been able to just lay him down and he'll fall asleep without crying, so i can go and put the others down. using a swing was really hard for me, because i rocked and nursed the others to sleep for a hour most nights......but once you have more than 1 child, and especially more than 2, it's just impossible and you have to do what you have to do. dont worry, it DOES get easier as the baby gets older! good luck.

[jgale]

Heidi that sounds lovely. May I ask what brand/model stroller it is? Jessi