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Originally Posted by texmati  Thank you so much.
I guess, I was hoping that things would bey *way* better for our family if I stayed at home. Either for DS or DH or me, or the family as a whole. He has to be better off with me than with the nanny, right?
I just don't know. We have been eating better all week. but other than that, I don't know if it's better for me to be with my son all day, and get sick of him, or just see him 4 hour, (maximum on the weekdays), and love every minute of it.
My mom is pretty anti sham, and she always slips in a "it doesn't matter", or "the nanny is better at taking care of DS", or "DS won't know the difference" or "you will quit, and then want to work, and then you won't be able to find a job". Those are all my worst fears. (add in a "my dh will get tired of me being at home" for good measure.)
I just want to look forward to the day when I wake up. There has got to be a better life than this. I was so happy during mat leave, even though ds screamed all day.
Ineed a cookie.
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That sounds like terrible advice from a guilt ridden mother to me.. Children DO know the difference. A nanny might be able to take care of your baby, but they do not LOVE your baby like you do.
I have personally been a nanny for a little girl and she was always treated differently than my son. There's no way around it, I love my son and I did not love her. Babies are designed to be in the care of someone who loves them all day long. Basic needs are important, but so is that blanket of true affection that only comes from a mother.
Yes, we all get tired of our kids, but so does the nanny. I promise, I know a few nannies! I used to get way more tired of the girl that I watched than I ever got of my own son (and yes he's tiring too). So every time that you think you're not doing your best think that a nanny won't do their best either and to top it off they will NEVER love your child. My best friend nannies for a couple of kids and they always take second place to her own son. She loves her son, while she sees the other kids as a job. Your baby needs your love, not someone who's looking for a job.
Even a baby knows when they're being loved, don't let your MIL tell you any differently.
Good luck with your decision.
I also take nice long walks on my lunch hour just to get away from the chaos. It helps - a ton. I also have pics on my desk at work so that I can see my boys all day. For some, that may be hard, but for me, it reminds of why I'm doing what I'm doing.
