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Should I look?

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
DD (9.5) and I have a notebook that we use for when she has questions she is not comfortable asking out loud. She will put it under my pillow at night and I will write an answer and put it back under hers the next morning. Well, she has only written one thing in it before, and it was to thank me for getting the notebook. lol

Tonight though, she wrote a real question. She told me that she thinks she has hair on her "you know what" (her words lol) but doesn't know what they are supposed to look like. We have several books on the topic but none of them explain in detail what the beginning stages look like, and I don't remember myself. So I looked online. From what I've read it seems that they usually start out a lot like the other hair already present on the body, but start lower down and don't become dark/curly or up on the pubic bone until later on.

So my question is, what if she wants me to look? Would that be weird? I don't feel particularly bothered by it, but I do know that my mom would have been mortified if I asked that so I'm not sure if it's "normal" for a parent to do that. Also if she doesn't ask, should I offer to take a look?

I feel so weird asking this question. DD and I are very open with each other, and I want it to remain that way, but I'm not sure what is crossing a boundary and what is not. I don't want to ever make her (or myself) feel uncomfortable. What would you do?

post #2 of 13
My advice would be to follow her lead - if she's comfortable with it, you should be as well.

The notebook idea is awesome, by the way. Need to remember this in the future!
post #3 of 13
If she is comfortable enough to show you and she asks, then I see no reason not to look. The boundary is put up by you and her. Not by you mom, or anyone on MDC. SO yeah, like the PP said follow her lead. That way you stay within the boundaries that your DD is comfortable with.
post #4 of 13
If she asks you and is comfortable enough, sure why not?

BTW, I think I'll steal your idea in the future
post #5 of 13
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone!

We wrote back and forth to each other a few times and then she finally did ask. She was a bit embarrassed but I tried reassuring her that this was normal, we went through a few of her books, talked about some other things etc. and it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as I thought it might be. She was glad she asked.

I can't believe how fast she's growing up!
post #6 of 13
Such a sweet idea! Great it is actually starting to do some serious work for the two of you.
post #7 of 13
Ohh, I LOVE this idea. THANK YOU. I'm glad it all worked out well for you!
post #8 of 13
I'm SO glad it worked out.

And I'm totally stealing the notebook idea. That's so creative!
post #9 of 13
I like the notebook idea too!

post #10 of 13
another idea stealer here
post #11 of 13
That is an awesome idea! I think it's awesome that your dd is comfortable enough to share with you and ask (and the notebook is a fantastic way to make that available to her!).

I agree with the others, the boundaries are determined by you and your dd.
post #12 of 13
I also love the notebook idea! My DD is 9 and really curious about a lot of things now.
post #13 of 13
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone! The notebook idea actually came from someone else...I think it might have been someone on this board. So feel free to steal it because I did.

DD has really not been excited at all about growing up. She has been dreading it, and really isn't a very girly girl. I was the complete opposite, totally curious about everything and wanting it to happen to me ASAP. I'm glad though that she isn't like I was...it gives me time to take it slow with her and I think that it will also help her to grow into it naturally instead of rushing through.

Although I have to say, no matter how prepared I thought I was...it still took me a little by surprise and I'm a bit sad that she's growing up.
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