I need thoughts and insight - I feel like there aren't options!

[ariatrance]

Okay, to keep it short cause it's late and I want to get to sleep

First kid - cesarean for no reason
Second kid - hospital vbac with ob

I'm not even pregnant but planning on TTC in the next few months for #3. However, after the okay but not wonderful hospital vbac, I'd really like to try a homebirth. I want a wonderful family connection when welcoming the newest member, the intimacy, the freedom to do what I need to do instead of being strapped to a bed the whole time. I did NOT like laboring like that and I HATED pushing flat on my back for 'their' convenience.

Anyway. In my state (Arkansas), I can have a HBAC but it legally cannot be attended by a midwife. She would lose her license. I have consulted with the local MW and she willingly attends HBACs but only if everyone lies about it so she won't lose her license. So I wouldn't be able to tell my birth story to anyone, not even family!

Well, my VBAC ob is practicing in a city 4 hours away. I could just go back to her, traveling every month and have another hospital vbac. I have family and friends in this city - not like I don't go there enough anyway and I'd have free lodging. She was a great physician and my feelings aren't about her - I just didn't like the hospital, the endless stream of staff, the machines.

My husband is even willing to travel all the way to the Farm in Tennessee, if that proves to be financially on par with our other 'options.' I need to call them to find out their prices. I think it probably would be more expensive because I would need to pay for lodging during the last few weeks before birth to be on sight. It's about a 6 hour drive one way.

So I do have options but they don't FEEL like it, you know?! I just don't know what to do. I don't even know why I'm worrying so much over this when I'm not even pregnant. I can't imagine what it'd be like if I had pregnancy hormones coursing through my body while trying to think this out.

Maybe, can I just have a hug from others who've had to think through this? I hate that one person's mistake (mine for choosing that first OB!) causes me this much stress and limits me so much.

[liberal_chick]

I would just lie.

I'm in Arkansas too and I see an unlicensed midwife (I used her for my last birth as well). I tell everyone I'm using a midwife, my family even knows her first name, and I certainly shared my birth story, but that's about it. I just filled out the state paperwork like I had an unassisted delivery.

You are lucky you found a licensed MW to even attend you! I talked to the (few) midwives in my area and none would see me at all. And, honestly, when I talked to them on the phone it almost sounded like they thought I was a covert agent of the state trying to bust them for attending HBACs!

[AustinMom]

If The Farm turns out the be financially viable, I'd go there.

I would also feel fine with saying it was an unassisted delivery, and I would tell my birth story, just not give the MW's name to protect her. As the previous poster said she did.

Also, if you are willing to drive to 4 hr away OB, why not just travel across the state lines (I'm assuming you are close to another since you mentioned The Farm as an option.) You could find a MW there, and birth in hotel if you wanted. Or maybe there is a birthing center within 4 hrs away? I totally understand the not wanting to hospital birth. You could also just refuse the internventions you don't want, like EFM, IVs, vaginal exams, etc, but that may not be something you want to do in labor (fight for your rights that is).

Much love to you!