Wow, thanks, everyone!
Originally Posted by tiffani
when does he turn 18? I don't think I would stop my kid from doing this if they really, really wanted to, but I would look into all the legalities of him being off on his own before he's legally an adult -- by that I mean I'd look into it with him, and see what pitfalls he might encounter, obstacles, etc, and he might choose to wait until he's 18 to go??? Or not...
yes, it's crazy, but that's what's fun about being a young adult. I would make sure my kid knew that I was 100% supportive of them doing this, so that they wouldn't hesitate to call if they got into trouble -- the last thing you want is for him to feel like he can't come to you if he needs help because he fears the "I told you so"... even subconsciously.
I should have written that he'll be 18 in a few weeks and will be graduating also. His dad has definitely talked about pitfalls and I have as much as I can, too. DS knows we support him but that I, especially, am concerned. I'll have to let him know for sure that he'd never get an "I told you so," just a "Come on back!"
Originally Posted by lolar2
I just moved out of LA a year ago. I have lots of contacts there, and a (very few) of them are even low-level "industry." PM me if you want more information.
Thanks, lolar2. You may well have mail eventually, possibly next month when he's here visiting.
Originally Posted by Annie Mac
When I was 17, I moved 3000 miles away to a city where I knew one person. I found a crappy minimum wage job, moved into a rundown apartment, met more people, stayed a couple of years before I came home again. It wasn't always easy, but I survived and am so glad I did that. It can be a great experience with the right attitude. Remember being that age, in that space? The world is totally open, possibilities abound! How exciting for your son. He should go. If he really really hates it, he can call home and you can send him a ticket back.
Also, kudos to your son for bucking the trend of his cohorts. I have a daughter who's a couple years older than your son. She's on her own but all of her friends (who run in age from about 20 - 25) still live with their parents. Personally, I was chomping at the bit to get away, and I can not think of one friend I had at that point who hadn't moved out by 18 or 19 years of age, maximum. Most were out by 17. Your son sounds like an independent, confident young man. Good for him!
I'm really glad to hear about your experience and your daughter's. He really is confident and pretty independent, though I'd feel better if he had some sort of job experience. I sure do remember being that age, and love how tenacious he's been about this desire. It actually helps me some to know he's scared about it all, if that makes sense. I guess because I know that means he really is thinking about it, which is a good thing.
Originally Posted by Oriole
Sounds crazy! And exciting.
I do agree that he should consider waiting until he is 18, since he probably wants to be able to sign all the papers for himself.
Otherwise, he has a good head on his shoulders and is determined? More power to him.
(I know, I know... I'm saying this, but there is no way I could be this calm if DSD decided to move. She is s trouble-seeker though, so that's a whole another story.
Yeah, he really is pretty prepared considering he hasn't had a job before, so that's a very good thing. But I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks it's crazy--and exciting! lol
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree
If he's committed to this course of action, then how prepared is he?
Does he know how to budget?
Can he grocery shop and prepare nutritional, frugal meals?
Does he do laundry, basic housecleaning and home maintenance?
Does he have job-hunting skills - resume writing, interviewing, on-line networking?
Can he navigate large public transit systems on his own?
If this is what he really wants to do, then making sure he has independent living skills is probably more useful than trying to dissuade him.
Good luck to him!
And this is where my concerns come in and I wish he'd stay for awhile in the PDX area or even Seattle, closer to family. I think he could really only say yes to the laundry/basic housecleaning/home maintenance. I honestly have no idea if his dad is working with him on any of this but will email him (DS) today to find out. He's certainly smart enough to learn all of this easily. The more I know he can handle for sure, the calmer I'll be about it.
Thanks soooo much for your replies, everyone! I really do believe that if he's prepared he'll be okay in the end but it's hard not to fret. I think something that's making it harder for me is that he's my baby and is now all grown up and I've had so little opportunity to be a "hands-on" parent with him. We have a great relationship so it's easy to talk about how we each feel. Thanks for helping me get better grounded about this!