Mercy Update - Page 3

[loveneverfails]

Sunday morning I asked for an infectious disease consult so that I could better understand what is going on with my daughter's care, and I got absolutely torn into by the attending. Like, I was holding a crying baby who had had a really bad blood draw and was very upset myself and I was being yelled at by the standing, very tall male attending. Even he had to admit that I was not being hostile, but he was awful. Really awful. And about 2 hours after that, I found a freaking sharp UPRIGHT in my newborn infant's crib.

On the plus side, his level of hostility got the entire nursing staff on my side. And he is no longer the attending for my daughter. The big and bad thing I did? I asked for the evidence on 7 versus 10 day courses of antibiotics protocols so that I could understand why we needed 10 instead of 7. We have a new doctor today, who actually took the time to explain things to me and ordered a chest x-ray to see what the status of my daughter's infection was. I strongly believe this doctor would have discharged us if it was medically prudent to do so. However, the x-ray DID show that there had been crud in Mercy's lungs, so now I can be at peace knowing that we really do need the 10 day treatment.

I'm furious about how we've been treated. Absolutely furious. And the nurses have been really freaking bizarre about breastfeeding. I had mad engorgement, so I pumped just to the point of relieving the pain. I was nursing the baby at the same time as pumping, and pumped 11 oz. Not a typo. 11.

I should have dumped it down the drain. As soon as I turned it in to be frozen, they started talking about how great it was to have it in case we need to supplement. No one said anything about supplementation until I had pumped milk.

[loveneverfails]

Oh, and I freaking ovulated today. I'm not kidding. I called my MW to check in about pain in my lower abdomen around my uterus and right ovary, and as soon as she mentioned that it might be ovulation, I remembered that yeah... this is totally what ovulation pain for me is like.

And yes, this experience has irrevocably disillusioned me about the medical establishment. It's a nightmare. Absolutely a nightmare. Unless someone is going to die or be injured, I will not choose a hospital birth again in my life.

[rhiOrion]

A sharp in your baby's bed? There must be someone to report that to.

[jenfl]

I'm so sorry, LNF. I'm right there with you about never going into a hospital by choice.

DH and I were talking about this, and he feels that a lot of the problem is that there's no in-between for hospitalized babies. The NICU is a great place to be for really sick babies. But for babies who are just a little sick (yours and mine), the NICU is overkill. If they were a grown-up, they wouldn't be in the ICU, they'd be on a medical-surgical floor. That brings a lot more flexibility in care and not nearly the intensity of an ICU. But for babies, there isn't that med-surg floor. So every baby in the NICU is treated like they're as sick as sick can be.

And that makes life miserable for the rest of us.

I'm so sorry the experience has been rough, but I'm glad you got the evidence you needed to prove that it's a good thing to be in there. (In our case, the blood cultures showed we didn't need the antibiotics at all and didn't need to have stayed.)

[Dena]

I am so sorry you are being treated so poorly. It is inexcusable for a doctor to speak to you in any way but with respect, particularly when you are simply trying to understand the treatement being given to your daughter. I am glad you finally got a good dr. and are at peace with Mercy's treatment.

Hopefully you can write to the hospital at some later point and report the first attending. He should be held accountable for his behavior.

[RedOakMomma]

Can you ask to be moved out of the ICU during the rest of her treatment? I think that's something a sympathetic doctor could agree to.

We've had several ICU stays, and dozens of hospital stays, and all of them were heavenly compared to our one NICU stay. Ds2 was there for a sodium deficiency, and we were treated horribly. It's like they don't know what to do with mostly-healthy babies, much less attachment parenting or breastfeeding. Complicating things was that ds2 was several months old, and was only used to co-sleeping...needless to say their policy against parents sleeping in the room was a disaster.

Don't give up on doctors or nurses, or hospitals even, based on this one stay. It sounds like you're dealing with some truly rotten apples, but really...we've been through the hospital schtick for a while now, and most of the time we've encountered encouragement and compassion. It's just the bad experiences, especially at times when you're feeling so vulnerable and exhausted, that make hospital stays hell.

Hopefully they'll let you down to the next level of in-hospital care. For antibiotic treatment, the NICU seems a little extreme. Maybe start lobbying for a move...in her last few days of treatment, they may be willing to let go a little.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by Dena

I am so sorry you are being treated so poorly. It is inexcusable for a doctor to speak to you in any way but with respect, particularly when you are simply trying to understand the treatement being given to your daughter. I am glad you finally got a good dr. and are at peace with Mercy's treatment.

Hopefully you can write to the hospital at some later point and report the first attending. He should be held accountable for his behavior.

mama. I'm furious for you that you were treated that way, and happy that you now have a doctor who respects you and that you can trust.

[dogretro]

Sounds horrible. And, yeah, you nursed four other babies, you must have NO IDEA what you are doing..*eye roll*

[krismarie]

BIG s

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by loveneverfails

I'm furious about how we've been treated. Absolutely furious. And the nurses have been really freaking bizarre about breastfeeding. I had mad engorgement, so I pumped just to the point of relieving the pain. I was nursing the baby at the same time as pumping, and pumped 11 oz. Not a typo. 11.

I should have dumped it down the drain. As soon as I turned it in to be frozen, they started talking about how great it was to have it in case we need to supplement. No one said anything about supplementation until I had pumped milk.

[Peace+Hope]

oh mama, so sorry!

as good as it was, the NICU doctors were an intense bunch even at a mom/baby friendly hospital (an actual certification). the just do NOT get the moderately sick baby thing, as others have said. not trained to.

definitely follow up when you have the time/energy! maybe what you say will help other families?

[silverspook]

Stopping by to give you a and lifting your family up in prayer.

[loveneverfails]

We are HOME! Thank God. I think I will probably need to take some time to just plain sit down and bawl over the next couple of days. It was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous and horrible, and you could not pay me any amount of money to have a hospital birth again in my life.

At least my baby is doing well and is healthy. I know how many other mothers there are out there who can't say that, and I am extremely grateful for what we do have.

[smeisnotapirate]

So glad you're home!

Lots and lots of to you - take the time that you need to grieve for your birth experience. PM/tweet me if you need to vent/talk.

[loveneverfails]

At this point, I'm just mainly grateful for what I do have. I have a healthy baby, and we didn't know for sure how this was going to turn out.

There isn't much for me to grieve in my birth experience, because I know how we made it within such a razor thin margin. I don't think Mercy could have handled a labor that lasted much longer than this one did. And we could never have resolved the bizarre positioning thing she did, even though it only took my MW 30 seconds to correct. It is seriously so close that 3 minutes either direction and we could have a much different outcome, and if we hadn't PLANNED a home birth, my daughter would probably be dead. Nothing else really matters to me right now except that we had a near catastrophe and the worst didn't happen.

I think I'll probably have to do some work to come to terms with the hospitalization stuff, but for right now I'm just going to take things one day and one step at a time.

Here's a picture of us from today, though!!!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...75&id=61901032

[smeisnotapirate]

OMG, her cheeks are to die for! And you look great, too!

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Oh I am so angry at how you were treated I really get riled up at how some Drs. really seem to think it's okay to treat patients the way they do. But I am so glad you are home with Mercy who is adorable and cuddly! I hope you get a wonderful babymoon after this...and I totally hope you've broken out that yummy stash of goodies.

[Dena]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaGinger61

Oh I am so angry at how you were treated I really get riled up at how some Drs. really seem to think it's okay to treat patients the way they do. But I am so glad you are home with Mercy who is adorable and cuddly! I hope you get a wonderful babymoon after this...and I totally hope you've broken out that yummy stash of goodies.

I hope you will have the time and space to process and heal.

[loveneverfails]

I've finally had enough time to do the research I wanted to do but couldn't do because of having pretty much no internet access.

The more I look at things, the less I think that Mercy had bacterial pneumonia given that every culture came back negative and not a single x-ray showed pneumonia. I think she had a relapse of H1N1 due to the intense stress of the birth she went through. The same labs that she had elevated in the abscence of clearly identified bacterial infection are what you'd find with H1N1.

I just give up on the medical care we received. It was obscenely stupid. But I can't remotely begin to explain how happy I am with how well cared for we have been by our midwife. She's been just absolutely phenomenal. I can't even write down everything she's done for us, and the fact that we planned to be here with her is why we have a healthy baby at all.