Discipline at school - help

[Mama_2_Boy]

Can you please provide me with your thoughts on this?
My 5 year olds class is about 10 kids. One teacher and her aid. My son is a fiddle fart - plain and simple. He has a hard time sitting still and focusing. Fine. Now, at lunch time he plays around we are told. Doesn't stay in his seat, spills his stuff and sometimes other kids drinks as well. So her solution is, at lunch remove him from the group and sit him at another table, in the same room, but at another table alone.
I understand that the teacher is probably frustrated. However at the same time I'm feeling very badly for my son. I'm afraid of him being isolated as I remember feeing during such things when I was small. I don't recall learning anything from my own personal experinces, except feeling badly about myself - not learning to 'focus' kwim?
What do you all think of this arrangement?

[Emmeline II]

It is probably a last resort. My son's K teacher tried to put him at a table with other children (regular class 19-20 children) but he was continually disruptive and interfering with the other children. We thought she should leave him at his own table sooner than she did and wondered why she kept trying when it was obvious to us that he did better with his own space.

He has been disruptive from time to time at lunch, but it was not a regular occurrence.

[lotusdebi]

Has he been seen by an occupational therapist? My son is unaware of where his body is in space and can't sit still. An OT diagnosed him with sensory processing disorder. We've found that a weighted lap pad helps him sit better and cuts down on his "clumsiness". A weighted vest could also work, or regular occupational therapy. If he has a disability of some sort (SPD or ADHD or something), the school personnel should find a way to work with him that doesn't punish him for his disability.

[One_Girl]

It is very late in the year, so this sounds like a last resort kind of thing. If he is ruining other kids lunches and to wound up to eat his own then maybe a seperate table will help. I think think that getting a diagnosis may be a helpful thing if you think he has something other than normal wiggliness. Have you asked her if she is going to allow him to have another chance tomorrow or if he starts out at the table then moves if he can't control himself enough to eat without distrubing his neighbors? If she is just separating him for the rest of the year then I think you should talk to a supervisor.

[peaceful_mama]

I think an adult needs to sit next to him and help him learn table manners. Not in a single-you-out kind of way, but in a natural way where they sit at the table anyway and they happen to situate themselves next to him to give him the extra attention he needs.

Then, the separation should happen, if it needs to, on a day-by-day case-by-case basis. In order for this to help him *at ALL* he needs a chance to "try again." though I would avoid it if I could just so the other kids don't learn to see "the bad kid" in the class.

unless he really does do better in his own space, but then it should be given in a way that does not punish him. My son's preschool class where he just finished TODAY...is in an elementary school, so I woudl think it would be pretty easy to bring in a desk and position it at the end of a lunch table for an individual space for one child. That way the child gets the space they need, but they are still in proximity to interact with classmates during lunch and more importantly, in my experience--which includes preschool classroom assistant experience--the other kids will not see this as him being "Punished" and thus earning a "bad kid" label from them. He has a certain seat to sit in for lunch, Susie drinks different milk than we do, Bobby can't eat bread, Julie uses a wheelchair...none of it is really different to kids at this age, they really do see it just as that person's thing and not much 'why" or "strange' associated with it. Yeah, they might ask questions but they are just so generally ACCEPTING when they have adults who are matter-of-fact and honest about things at their level...it is truly beautiful.

[Tigerle]

If there are ten children and two adults, I do not understand why it would not be possible to sit him at one end of the table, with one adult next to him and the other across, or between the two adults at a round table. Maximum control, least feeling of being isolated and punished. He could make way worse messes on his own, at his own table...

And if the situation is so bad that it could not be contained by two adults in direct proximity, it sounds like he should be evaluated for possible SPD issues, like a PP suggested.