thinking of TTC #2 with NO libido.... What's up with this?!

[justKate]

Our only DD is 15 mos. old, and after working through a lot of issues related to her birth, I feel like I'm ready to start thinking about TTC #2 at some point this year. Baby steps, you know?

The problem is, I have NO libido. I went off BCP weeks ago (b/c we weren't intimate anyway, so what was the point), still nurse DD through the night, no AF yet. I just haven't been interested in sex. To be honest, I think we've DTD seven times since DD was born. Seriously, seven, max. I have a very patient husband.

So what do I do to get back to feeling "like me" as far as intimacy goes? I really don't want Huz to feel like the only time I'm interested in DTD is when I'm wanting a baby. He's been really good about respecting my feelings, but I think he deserves a more welcoming partner these days.

What do you all do to balance these needs? Or lack of need, in my case?

[zjande]

When I am pregnant or breastfeeding (& have no af), I have almost no libido at all. It's frustrating. But it makes sense biologically- why should my body crave sex when I'm not ovulating? The point (biologically) of sex is reproduction. I miss feeling super lusty. But, I love my husband & don't want to leave him feeling unsatisfied or unappreciated or disappointed in our marriage, so I just do it anyway! Men (usually) are very physical creatures. They seem to need physical affection or they get grumpy.

Good luck ttc! That's exciting!

[akind1]

I got AF back at 4 months PP, and maybe that is why I've not really had any issues with libido. granted I am rarely super lusty . . .but one thing I have noticed is the longer we go without, the easier it is to say or feel "meh" about sex. the more often we dtd, the more I want some!

DS pretty much sleeps through the night (like 10-4 or 5) so this maybe why AF came back so soon. I think some times it is one of those fake it till you make it things - I mean, don't fake it, but you know, *try* do whatever you did pre-baby to feel sexy - lingerie, no lingerie, perfume, dance together, massage, oils, you get the drift, whatever works - or worked - for you. my guess is that once you get going, you'll be glad you did.

for us, the above (minus the perfume, lately I've been going with eau de milk) plus a loose routine - we aim for every other day - has helped alot; gives us something to look forward to without a lot of pressure.