or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Would you let your children influence your real estate decisions?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Would you let your children influence your real estate decisions?

post #1 of 80
Thread Starter 
Our house is for sale. It's listed fairly for what it is but still, it is not a small number by any means.

We've had 4 interested parties say yes they LOVED the house, but had to see what their kids thought. We're talking teenagers. So they come back with their teenagers and then tell the brokers well, one or more of my kids didn't like x,y,z so maybe we'll keep looking. And the things the kids didn't like? The color of the kitchen, the size of "their" room, one kid apparently thought the house wasn't "green" enough. (FYI- it's a 1923 colonial with lots of period details including original 9 pane windows)

Now I love my kid(s)- pregnant with #2- but when it comes to spending $$$$$$ on a house I believe my husband and I would be the ones making the decision. ** I need to specify that I'm not talking about house hunting with your children's interests in mind- I think that's great and what most families do, ourselves included. OF COURSE I want and would use their input- to an extent- but I also feel that a 14 or 16 yr old lacks the ability to understand long term financial investments and decisions. I would not turn down a smart-buy property if one of my children didn't like the view from "their room" or something along those lines.

And also- these are teenagers- who will be going to college shortly and then most likely moving out on their own. It would be the parents who will need to love the house becasue they are the ones who will be living in it!!!

Feeling a little bummed that teenagers' opinions are standing in the way of getting our house sold!
post #2 of 80
If my teen had a serious objection to a proposed home then I think I'd listen and take it into consideration. The color of a kitchen is not a serious consideration since changing it is as easy as picking up a paintbrush. The size of a room, as long as it's reasonable sized is slightly more serious, but nowhere near a deal breaker.

I'm sorry you're frustrated. I would be too.
post #3 of 80
I probably would. But, my child is smart enough to look past the kitchen color.

If the school was too far away, or her friends were in the next town, or her bedroom was pretty horrible.... I would absolutely consider those things. I wouldn't even look at a home in a neighborhood unless I researched the schools.

I do buy homes with mostly my child in mind. Heck, with this last house, we picked a house that the dogs would like.
post #4 of 80
Sure. The decision affects her as much as it does us.

As NC said, dd wouldn't be thinking about the paint color, though. She would consider the same aspects I would, I think, and come to the discussion with a unique perspective. Her opinion matters as much as ours.

Now, if it somehow significantly affected our financial situation, I think she'd also be reasonable and compromise. But I would also try to compromise to try to make the new place meet her needs, too.
post #5 of 80
Anyone here every watch House Hunters on HGTV? There are a lot of adults who decide not to buy a house because of paint colors...
post #6 of 80
Thread Starter 
I think valid complaints such as being uprooted from a town/school they love or living in a completely different type of area (such as rural to city) might be more reasonable. But these are local people. I've got brokers coming back to us with very silly and immature objections from teenagers. And the parents are apparently listening.

We really want to move and this is eating at me.
post #7 of 80
Based on the examples that you gave, no I wouldn't let them influence my decision (unless the bedroom size discrepancy is huge, then it might carry some weight. Once I got done telling them about my bedroom with the closet that was turned into a bathroom when indoor plumbing became the rage and my brother's room that barely fit his bed. )

I would however, take into consideration their feelings and thoughts about leaving their friends or school behind, but that doesn't sound like a problem in your case.


Having said all that, we may be moving within the next year or so and yes, my kids will have some influence over our decisions. They would be 5 and 7 at that time though and the influence they would have would be for us to look for homes in a really good school district and in an area with amenities that they would enjoy.
post #8 of 80
I absolutely would consider the opinions of my children. It is their house also, even if they will spend part of the year at college or whatever. Choosing a house is a compromise all around, so I don't know that I would let their issues be dealbreakers if everything else was perfect but we would discuss the situation.
post #9 of 80
I wonder if those are just the reasons that they gave to the realtor, and they have nothing to do with the real reason they don't like your house?

We tried to sell our house a couple of years ago. It was on the market for a year, and we showed it about 75+ times. We got reasons that it didn't sell that were things like, "well, the front porch has a brick that is loose" (it was an extra brick sitting there, to hide the key thing from the realtor) and "the garage smells like gas" (um, yeah, cause you looked at it just after we had mowed the grass, and the mower stays in there ).

After a while, we figured that some of the realtors and/or prospective buyers will say anything, no matter how bizarre. We took it all with a grain of salt.
post #10 of 80
Wow, Betsy.

As for letting my kids influence my house purchase...yes and no. We just bought a house and the kids were mad at first because they don't each have their own rooms-but that wasn't a goal to begin with and it would have cost us $100k more around here to find a house with enough bedrooms! So my decision overrides that one.

If it's a valid concern like location, etc. then maybe but as for them not liking the color/room/whatever...no. They don't have to live here forever and I'm paying thousands and thousands for a house that will be my responsibility. Not to mention finding something in our price range with our requirements (which are all there because of the kids to begin with-yard, # of bedrooms, bathrooms, things I know they want/need/will make our lives easier as a family). I can't imagine having found a great house and letting my kids talk me out of it, but I don't think I would want the house very much if I let my 5 yo make that decision for me.

Of course we've lived some pretty terrible places so that we can keep our pets, so by the time we bought a house, provided it had walls and a yard, my kids were thrilled just to not have to move in 6 months!
post #11 of 80
I guess I'm just a mean mom, because my kids' opinions on the color of the kitchen or the size of what their bedroom is doesn't mean squat to me. My dh and I pay the mortgage, so therefore we get to make the decision on what house we live in. It's that simple.

But then again, my kids wouldn't even be house-hunting with us. We would never dream of bringing our kids along when we're looking at houses. I want to be able to concentrate on looking at houses, not kids.

The people on House Hunters who whine about wall color drive me batty. I frequently say to the TV, "It's just PAINT, people!!"
post #12 of 80
To a point, yes.
post #13 of 80
sure if they're planning on paying part of the mortgage.

I may take their opinion into consideration if it was a real concern, but size of bedroom, not being green enough, or paint colours are not real concerns.

When we look, dh & I go first. If we like the house we'll have another look through with the kids but not for them to make the decision.

Now if these are soon to be college kids & I was buying the house FOR them to live in while going to university/college, then YES their input would have alot of weight in the decision.
post #14 of 80
My mom and dad actually bought their house for the amount my sister suggested, this was when she was only 10 years old. So yeah I'd try to include my children's thoughts on a place that was going to be ours. But as far as the situations you are describing, perhaps the kids were just a scapegoat when they decided that they were not as in love with the house as they first thought.
post #15 of 80
ummmm... no. i would never let any of my children's opinions influence such a big decision. if hubby and i loved a house and could afford it, the kids would just have to deal with it, whether they liked it or not.
post #16 of 80
If the kids' opinions matter that much, bring them along in the first place. OMG, teens. Who will live in the house for HOW long? Tell mr/miss whiny pants to pant the kitchen if it bothers him/her that much.

Yeesh.
post #17 of 80
Actually, yes - I took my kids opinions into consideration when I bought this house. They were... 8 & 10? We were making our final move until they were both through HS, so darned straight I was taking their thoughts into account. I narrowed the choices down, then we saw the houses together, visited the schools, checked out the areas and what was around them, etc.

And I'd applaud the teen who objected on the house not being "green" enough! Yeah - it's a "period" house. Well... some find environmentally friendly more important than period. I have to respect the kid for it. IN all honesty - I'd likely not be interested because all those windows usually = higher energy bills. Not going there these days.
post #18 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtiger View Post
And I'd applaud the teen who objected on the house not being "green" enough! Yeah - it's a "period" house. Well... some find environmentally friendly more important than period. I have to respect the kid for it. IN all honesty - I'd likely not be interested because all those windows usually = higher energy bills. Not going there these days.
I don't respect his parents though. They didn't take time to talk with their kid at all before going to view houses. Kitchen color, room size, those things you can't tell without the kid looking, but green can be checked with a series of worksheets.
post #19 of 80
I wouldn't, especially over silly things like that.
post #20 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeliMom View Post
My mom and dad actually bought their house for the amount my sister suggested, this was when she was only 10 years old. So yeah I'd try to include my children's thoughts on a place that was going to be ours. But as far as the situations you are describing, perhaps the kids were just a scapegoat when they decided that they were not as in love with the house as they first thought.
This is what I think might have happened.

I would include my kids. I'd have to decide on a case-by-case basis how much weight their opinion had. Also, if we were looking at two houses that day and we all agreed we liked house A best, even if I didn't agree with their reasons for not liking house B, we'd still choose house A.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Would you let your children influence your real estate decisions?