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Would you let your children influence your real estate decisions? - Page 3

post #41 of 80
Sure I would give my kids a say. They have a lot of good imput on what makes a house a home. They know about as much as I do about some things. They also know our limits. When we were looking at houses we had long talks about how the spaces would be used, colors to paint, what would get remodeled first etc.... and they are little. granted though, at our price point it was more of a how can we make this work, how can we make this one a home, what is it missing? etc. You mentioned your house was pretty nice and the amount of money was a big one. At a higher price point you better believe I would be dang picky. and htings like it being green, or my kids being thrilled with their rooms would be priorities for me as well as them.

Moving can be really hard on some kids. I think having some input, even about the size of the rooms or the view from their room, can really go along way towards a smooth transition.
post #42 of 80
another thing to consider is that they may be comparing your house to others. " I liked the room in the other house better" could be related to you as "Thier kid didn't like the bedroom" and a savy teen pointing out that "the other house is much more envioronmentally friendly" could be related to you as "this house is not green enough for the kid".
post #43 of 80
Originally Posted by staceychev View Post
Anyone here every watch House Hunters on HGTV? There are a lot of adults who decide not to buy a house because of paint colors...

Yes and a lot of them backs out of the house because of wall papers too. Its an easy fix!!!
post #44 of 80
I would listen to them, but not to let them make the final decission.

I too get really annoyed with people who can't look past paint colour!
post #45 of 80
Thread Starter 
Here's what else is bothering me- when I was a teen and we were house hunting I knew my parents had a limited budget and the homes we were looking at were modest at best. I was happy at the prospect of having a "regular" house in a regular neighborhood, not one that was income property, with strangers living above us in the two apartments we had to rent out to make ends meet.

Life has been good to me and our life is comfortable. Our current home, frankly, is quite nice and for teenagers to be complaining about room size irks me- the rooms are hardly small and heck there are 6 of them to choose from so give me a break. They just sound spoiled. And I won't go into the property's ammenities but let's just say that if my teenage self had seen this place out on a house hunt I would have thought my parents hit the lottery and didn't tell me.

Again, just venting I suppose. Hearing these remarks just makes me remember my own experience house hunting as a teen and just makes me think these kids haven't a clue about the real world.
post #46 of 80
The paint color reminded me of the guy last week who I don't think even looked at the house because he was so busy telling me how ugly and wrong the (sparse, a few beds & tables) furniture was! Even after I told him that we only left it in case the new owner should want it, if not we would remove before closing. He just couldn't let it go.
post #47 of 80
We brought our kids when we were rental hunting here in Mexico. One house was very promising, until we saw how hard it was for my then 3 year old to get down the stairs. To my eye, they didn't look dangerous, but seeing him inch down and get so terrified half way that dh had to go back up and get him made us realize we couldn't live there. There were other issues at other houses that our kids pointed out that we wouldn't have otherwise seen. When we picked the house we finally moved into, we all liked it, but the kids were in love with it.

So, yes, I would take their opininons into account. I wouldn't buy/rent a house that I hated because they loved it, but if they had legitimate concerns (and kitchen color is not a legitimate concerns) about a house I really liked, it could influence my opinion.
post #48 of 80
No, I probably wouldn't. We consider things that we know the kids want (ie, we have active children - we wouldn't choose an apartment or condo without ample outdoor playspace), but we don't always get to choose the house we want, we often have to settle for someplace that will just 'work'.

I will however, include each of my kids in decorating their rooms, to an extent. The big expenses (ie, furniture) I need to choose, and they need to work within that an an appropriate budget.
post #49 of 80
Yes, definitely.

Our decision to buy our house was based mostly on what was good for our children. We only looked at houses that fit all of our criteria, so within that if we found a house we liked (we had our first viewings without the children) we'd take them back, then get their thoughts.

It didn't turn out to be a problem - the house we liked the most was also the house the kids liked the most ... and if there had been a huge clash of opinions we would have made the final decision by taking their thoughts into consideration, but looking much more at issues which they wouldn't have thought about, being kids.

If they really, really hated a house we probably wouldn't have bought it. On the other hand, if they were only mildly impressed by it, but we loved it, we probably would have gone for it (they got to choose paint and other decorating touches, so that probably would have won them over).
post #50 of 80
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
No, my kids' opinions wouldn't matter to me at all. They are kids, they aren't paying the mortgage, and a house is a major investment. Kids tend to be reactionary about changes of this nature. They have no sense of the value of real estate or resale value.

I suspect that these people are using this as an excuse more than anything. Sometimes it's hard to come up with tactful reasons for why you don't like a house.
post #51 of 80
BarnMamma: We are selling too so I can totally empathize with you on buyers' comments! We had 2 sets of second showings where they brought the teens and they disapproved. So be it. As pp said, I think giving a "the kids didn't like it" reason is easier than saying the real reason (price, location, out-datedness, etc...) It's really hard to not take feedback personally, but the right buyer will come along who will love your house! Our buyers don't like the tile in our kitchen, but luckily they looked beyond it. Hang in there & good luck!
post #52 of 80
Originally Posted by staceychev View Post
Anyone here every watch House Hunters on HGTV? There are a lot of adults who decide not to buy a house because of paint colors...
And it drives me completely batty!

I thought about whether our house was a good place for kids when we bought it, and that was over a year before DS was even conceived. I would certainly take my child's needs into account, and listen to his opinions when buying a house.

However, the final decision would be DH's and mine. This isn't b/c DS isn't contributing finacially, it is b/c he is a child. As parents we make many decisions for our children that they don't necessarily like b/c we feel it is in their best interest. I certainly wouldn't buy DS's dream house if it meant we couldn't then afford to feed him. Children just aren't ready to appreciate all the long term repercussions of something as important as buying a house.
post #53 of 80
My kids would not be MAKING THE DECISION NO WAY. But they would have say in *some* things--like let's say they were old enough to want a family room separate from a living room to go into with friends and be separate from the adults. OK, sure.

My kids, though they haven't stated this themselves, would benefit immensely from a fenced-in yard. So I will be looking for a large fenced-in yard.

We're PG with #4. We have two boys and a girl currently. Eventually they are probably not going to want to share a bedroom with the opposite gender. I'll keep that in mind and make sure I have space to add a bedroom if one does not exist. (given our current family composition, that means we need 4 bedrooms--a 'girl room' a 'boy room' my mom's and Mine and DH's room.)

There's a particular area I'd like to move to so the kids can walk to school. It's also located near a small, not used a ton, park that we could go to.

Things like SIZES of these rooms...not so much a consideration I'll listen to. Within reason--I get wanting a room bigger than a *closet*.

If they didn't want a room on a separate level from US yet for sleeping, I'd make sure the house could accomodate that.

But no, they don't get to pick the 'style' of the house. And I'd remind them that if we OWN this house, we can PAINT THE ROOMS any color we want! Also random location choices like living near friends--friends move and change.

Now for us with *four* kids living near their school so we can walk to it might be a great consideration. For someone with *one* kid...if they really liked the neighborhood, OK. If it was near schools they liked for *all* of the child's education, OK. If they don't, school is 6 years for elem. 3 for middle, 4 for high school--all relatively short periods of time when you are thinking about a mortgage.

IT's OUR house, we as the parents have to like it. (an example, *I* as cheif floor cleaner, want NO carpet. the kids don't get to say they don't like that. Tough. YOU don't have to try to keep carpet decent. I HATE carpet.)

So what would ultimately happen is I'd take my kids' opinions into consideration on some things, but they would NOT get a veto for "silly" reasons--and I would not be looking at houses that did not meet our major requirements. (currently, 4 bedrooms or a way to add a 4th easily, like a finished basement, a room or area to be used as indoor playspace in the winter--could even be that 4th bedroom for the time that they don't care about all sleeping in one room. And yard space. Preferably already fenced. Oh, and a location not right on a "main drag.")

So no, in the end, with all that taken into consideration, no, the children do NOT make the final decision.
post #54 of 80
no, my kids would not be a major factor in our real estate decisions.

do i want their input ~ yes ~ but ultimately i have to live in the house until i die with my husband and they will be long gone by then so i think there are many factors to consider, and certainly my teen thinking their room is not "big" enough would pull no weight with me.
post #55 of 80

Originally Posted by seagull View Post
I absolutely would consider the opinions of my children. It is their house also, even if they will spend part of the year at college or whatever. Choosing a house is a compromise all around, so I don't know that I would let their issues be dealbreakers if everything else was perfect but we would discuss the situation.
post #56 of 80
I don't think anyone expects the kids to make the "final" decision - that's just silly. But should they have some input (age appropriate) regarding their living space? Absolutely!

I thought we're all trying to raise our kids to be rational, thoughtful people.

My kids had comments on this house when we looked at it. For example, it's fully fenced - which I need, due to the hounds. THEY were the ones who noticed the gaps. Was it a deal-breaker? No! I thanked them for noticing, and we fixed the gaps before allowing the hounds loose.

Other houses, they noticed other things - some were big deals, some weren't. I made the final decision, but we all had input.
post #57 of 80
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
You know, I dont' actually make any money, it's only money from my husband's job that goes toward our mortgage, and yet I expect a say in that kind of thing. I don't think who is paying for it is the issue. My husband's salary is our family's income and money.

That isn't really a fair comparison, though. The difference is that you hopefully have a different perspective on the finances than your child. You have an adult perspective on finances and your child does not. While you may not have earned the money - your husband did - I would assume you understand the financial impact of the decision you are making when you decide to purchase something as big as a house in a different way than a kid. It isn't so much that the child didn't earn the money, but that they would not understand the responsibility, implications and long term investment of a home being purchased.
post #58 of 80
We are in the process of buying a house right now. Our son was probably the main factor in deciding on what kind of homes we looked at/purchase, but his opinion wasn't considered at all. We chose the type of home (a home with a yard and not a cool loft that appeals to me and DH), the neighborhood and even the city we are moving to largely because we think it will be a great place to raise kids. DH and I also really like the home, neighborhood and city - so it works for our whole family. We did not ask DS's opinion on specific houses, though. There is no way he could realistically weigh all of the factors - cost of maintenance, needed upgrades and repairs, potential for increase in value, that we may have to go to the historical society and petition to do any remodeling on certain places we have looked at, etc - that are considerations in our decision. Our house is our home, but it is also a major financial investment, which, in our minds, means it is an adult decision.
post #59 of 80
No, I wouldn't. Unless the kids were making mortgage payments, and able to discuss the resale value in 30 years, and able to discuss fully the impact of school zones, and the house in question in relation to job situations (long-term, short-term, distance to job, work environment...) for myself and DH... So, no.

I think there are a million and one reasons, some simple and some highly complex, why people decide not to buy a home. And though you want to know, they do not have to tell you the real reasons. Seems like it is easier to say "my teenager doesn't like the color of the kitchen or the view from his window" than to tell you the real reasons. Easier isn't always right, but it is easier.

Hmm, then again let me come back in 15 years and maybe I will give you a different answer. Many people are surprised at how open I am with my kids about so many issues. Then again, it does not mean I am open about EVERYTHING - like the stress factors I have at work. So a house closer to my DHs job would be more valuable to us, than proximity to my job, and therefore I'm not sure I could or would discuss all the details of this with my DCs.
post #60 of 80
I am a bit jaded because I am disgusted with the whole house selling thing anyway.

My grandparent's house has been on the market for two and a half years. It was built in 1954. My aunt poured nearly $15,000. into it for new windows, painting, repairs, and a new furnace, etc. It is not new, but solidly built. IF I had the means, I would buy it. My husband, who has built houses himself, said that it is built MUCH better than many new houses he has seen lately.

That is STILL not good enough for some people. We have had two couples who wanted it, but wanted us to practically GIVE it to them. They said they could get a newer house for less. My attitude with that is fine, go get your cheaply made, newer home and go away. (no I did not say that to anyone) But, it is ridiculous what people want. We went from $170K and are now going to sell it for $121K. Because we are tired of it being on the market and paying the taxes and upkeep.

We have had people whine over the color of one of the bathrooms. It is pink. One couple wanted a brand new roof when the roof was under 10 years old. It is like they want the house for free, AND you must make an old house brand new for them too.

As far as kids, I would consider area, schools, etc. But a final decision would be made by me and DH. Not our children.
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