Anyone else feel like they don't know their baby yet?

[ann_of_loxley]

Okay - I know he is only three weeks old...but I still feel like I don't really know him!

The first week was spent working out why he wouldn't latch on and pumping to make sure he still had my milk...the second week was spent working on the latch...and now here we are... In go mode - but I don't know who he is! - Its like 'what are you doing now? - what does that mean!?!'...are you hungry, tired, bored? I can't put him down - at all...he won't let me! DS1 at least let me put him down and he didn't care where I put him! I mean - I love my slings but the novelty wears off a bit when you feel like you are being held hostage to them.

I must be doing something right cause he doesn't cry - but thats because I am on eggshells with him all the time...which is wearing me out! I don't like going through the whole list of 'could bes' to sort him out. I swear I knew DS1 by now! ....the gap is large, I have forgotten everything! lol It seems to always be a tossup between three things - hungry, tired and wanting to suck for comfort (which we are struggling with because the need to suck for comfort and NOT want milk is an issue with a baby who won't take anything other than my nipple! lol)

Remind me this gets easier right? - I will know my baby eventually right?

[Pepper44]

I'm still getting to know my baby also! She's almost 4 weeks old, I can't believe that.

I have trouble figuring out why she tenses up and cries out sometimes when she's going to sleep or stirring. Is it gas pain? Does she have to go potty? Wet diaper? Sometimes I think she is just uncomfortable in the position she's laying, but I don't yet know what positions she loves the most. It seems to vary.

I have figured out when she has trouble relaxing and going to sleep she likes to lay up on my shoulder with my cheek against hers while I pat her back and whisper softly in her ear.

She can't stand anything pressing on the back of her head...like the wrap or the sling. I wonder if it's still sore from birth or if this is a quirk. She also doesn't like to be put down, but it's tiring to sit here and nurse all day. She'll ride in the sling but only up right where it doesn't touch her head...

[sanguine_speed]

[bubbamummy]

Im feeling the same. It doesnt help that my 1st was THE easiest baby EVER. I exclusively pumped for him so I would stuff him full of breastmilk from a bottle and he'd sleep for 3 hours, wake up, eat again, sleep again, he was seriously so very easy. I knew how much milk he was having since he was bottle fed. However, miss molly is a different story, she is fussy and demanding. She too needs to be held ALL.THE.TIME. As much as I love her it does drive me nuts especially as DH has been working a 12hr night shift so I have basically had no break all week. She fusses so much I doubt my ability to nurse her, I begin wondering if my supply is low. She screams when I put her down, I cant even pee without being screamed at....I do feel like its a complete guessing game with her. It doesnt help that I still havent wrapped my head around the fact that she is a SHE I was SO convinced that I was having another boy and while im completely elated to have a girl I cant get out of the 'boy mindset'

[crazyeight]

some yes some no. i learned with ds the EASY idea (Eat, Activity, Sleep YOU) "activity" obviously at this point is small or nill but it gives me a good general idea of a routine. BF figured out that if he makes a "nom nom nom" sound while sucking on the paci (and spitting it out but he spits it out other times too) means he's hungry although most of the time i DO look at the clock and when he starts fussing around that time i just automatically pop him on the boob. when he's tired he doesn't get screechy crying as easily and he closes his eyes when he cries (ok i know that sounds weird but its different!). he almost sighs relief when i start to swaddle him there's times he wants to suck but is also figureing out his hands so he'll pull the paci OUT of his mouth on purpose and then chase his hand around. i let him do this till it frustrates the heck out of him or if he's tired and needs to sleep and not work himself up.

on a different level though...he's just blank to me. still more likely to just call him "the baby" rather than Reeve. When dd was born I always called her Ayla or if ds was around "your sister" so it's different this time with feeling like he isn't a "real" person yet.

and i can't imagine using a carrier the way it was intended...to do chores and stuff around the house. i just can't reach the dishes, bend over, look in the fridge, etc etc etc. about the only use i've found is when i take dd to the bus, to hold him at the park or grocery store...basically only if i know i'm going to stay upright and walking and even then i wouldn't dare take him on a hike or anything.

[Carita]

this is us:

Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley

going through the whole list of 'could bes' to sort him out. I swear I knew DS1 by now! ....the gap is large, I have forgotten everything! lol It seems to always be a tossup between three things - hungry, tired and

wet


still trying to figure things out here - 1 mo out.

[jsh7809]

Oddly, I feel like I "know" her in a kind of personality way - I feel connected to who she is and somehow like I understand and can communicate with her - but everything else you said rings true to me. So I may know her, but I never know what the heck she wants! I also feel like I'm on eggshells (and she DOES cry, so you're at least doing a better job preventively than I am) and have a really hard time being able to tell if she's hungry, tired, cold, or just grouchy for no reason.
I have to remind myself constantly that it will get easier...
And she loves to be in her moby or sling usually - but we are already at a stage where every time I find something that she loves, it changes within a day or two. So she is already "over" being swaddled most of the time, will never hang out in her swing or vibratey seat, and now only wants to be on me all of the time.
It will get easier...
OH and mine only weighs 9 pounds and my back hurts almost every day. I can't imagine what your big boy must feel like after a long day of holding and wearing!

[jenfl]

Sprout's 6.5 weeks, and I'm starting to feel like I know him -- sometimes. But it's been hard-fought, and he still throws me for a loop more often than not. I think part of the problem is that they're growing and developing so fast that their needs change faster than we can adapt. So maybe if I had the Sprout of 5-weeks-old for 2 or 3 weeks, I'd know him better. But now he's 6 weeks and he's changed enough that my 5-week-old tricks don't work.

[Peace+Hope]

Originally Posted by Pepper44

She can't stand anything pressing on the back of her head...like the wrap or the sling. I wonder if it's still sore from birth or if this is a quirk. She also doesn't like to be put down, but it's tiring to sit here and nurse all day. She'll ride in the sling but only up right where it doesn't touch her head...

isn't that just a reflex? i know it's there at birth, but not how long it lasts...


just when i had charlie figured, he's changing, heehee. of course you hear that . it's kinda cool though that he is starting to have different cries, so even though i have to figure them out, now i feel there's more TO learn about him, b/c he's communicating more detail.

[snoopy5386]

I feel this way too. DD2 is 5 weeks today and has been such an easy baby, I feel like she has mostly just been along for the ride. I bonded really well with her the first week or two after birth, just staring at her and soaking her all in, but once our help left and reality set in, I feel like I have almost no time to just "be" with her. When I'm nursing her I'm either also interacting with DD1, watching tv, or on the internet or out somewhere and dealing with NIP. I know I could not watch tv/surf the net, but that is my only "me" time and it helps me to feel sane.
She is also a super easy baby, she doesn't cry as long as she is being held or nursed and is super sleepy as well. It would be nice if she liked the swing or bouncy seat so I could get ready in the morning without her screaming bloody murder but otherwise she is sooo easy, it is easy to just "forget" about her as much as you can do that with a baby.
My default to her fussing is to put her on the boob, but that doesn't help me to get to know her either. This week I'm going to make it my goal to spend 1 on 1 time with her, just being with her.