Cesarean birth support circle #8 - Page 8

[UD_CHICK]

Originally posted by Megs Mom
I was told not to lift anything heavier than Meg (25 pounds)! I did lift Meg like four days after the surgery!!!

My doctor told me to try and not lift Isobel for 8 wks (he then amended this and said it's difficult/impossible to deny a toddler, so to use my judgement).

[rebasea]

I'm just impressed that any one is excersicing. My patner has started calling me Santa. I'm eatting cheese cakes and just doing light exercise. At 10 weeks out, I still don't feel like I have abdominal mussles. I can't sit up, I have to do that role to the side move...so savy.

[AnaNicole]

Wow, long thread. I can't read through all of these posts, at least, not now, but I wanted to join the circle, so to speak, as I just found out I will need a c-section soon.

I posted about this in the pregnancy forum but basically, I am expecting my 4th baby and was planning another homebirth (all my other three were born at home) but I had placenta previa at 20 weeks, and a follow-up u/s on Monday (at 28 weeks) confirmed something I wasn't expecting--the previa is now compounded by a vasa previa, and the only option is a scheduled c-section before I begin to dilate. At this point, the surgery could be scheduled in mid-May or as late as early June (depending on which due date makes the most "sense"--I have two now--June 29th and June 17th).

It's completely scary to think about all of this. I can handle the c-section idea for myself, it's my baby I am worried about. I worry he'll be a preemie, that I'll start bleeding before the section and his life wil be in jeopardy, that our bonding will be hampered, that he'll need lots of high level care, and on and on. Of course, recovery for me is also an unknown! So, I have a lot to learn here. I'd love to get to know some of you and hear what worked/didn't work for you.

Thanks so much!

[KKmama]

Hi AnaNicole--

I read your VP thread on I'm Pregnant, and I'm so sorry that you're facing this! But I think it's so great that it has been diagnosed ahead of time.

Having a cesarean is no fun, but I think it's also a good thing that you have so much time to try to plan it out and try to get your dr. and support people to help you have the birth you want to have.

I'm sure your baby will be okay. You seem to be very in touch with what is going on inside your body--that is such a tremendous help.

[sparklemum]

hi ananicole...here are my off the cuff recommendations...

my c/b was emergency and i was all set for a homebirth - so having time to plan will be nice (as nice as planning a c/b can be

you will want to be sure to have some way to move baby around and keep baby close and at waist level - if that makes sense - something that will keep you from lifting a bunch...we have a bassinet/stroller that my husband set up and i was able to wheel ruby around - this made a huge difference because i wasn't able to carry her everywhere or use a sling the first few weeks...but i could put the bassinet/stroller thingy right next to me on the couch and get very close - we also spent a lot of time in bed, but it was awkward enough getting myself out of bed with the little rolly action - getting ruby was a challenge as well...

all births mean less time in the kitchen, but a c/b even more so - really stock up and arrange as much household help as you possibly can...i deeply regret not planning for a postpartum doula...

my boppy was fabulous for breastfeeding - really alleviated the tug on my incision...

i wasn't able to do laundry for several weeks - if you are using cloth you might try a service the first few weeks, or again, plan for household help...

most of all, rest, rest, rest...walk, walk, walk...

you might also check out the hospital and let them know how you feel about breastfeeding and pain management...i had great midwives with me at the transfer and they really ran interferance and took heat for me - they knew i didn't want the morphine drip and insisted that be the case...they knew i was adament about breastfeeding and let the nurses know - so we had a good experience, even with the emergency...you might try to find a good doula or even midwife to be with you at the hospital to keep staff in line, if needed...

good luck - it isn't the worse thing ever, but at times it can surely feel like it - particularly, i think, for those that have had such successful previous un-medicated births...take good care of yourself and i wish you the very best

[sparklemum]

greymama - this is lovely and so well put...i will do my best to keep an eye on this thread and keep it going...with the others out there i think we can keep it lively

Originally posted by greymama
I just started visiting this forum yesterday and now that I've been skimming some of the posts, I must admit I've become very disheartened but what I'm reading. My beautiful son was delivered c-section because of a breech presentaion. Reading posts about "good outcomes... ie, not c/s" and posts about when c/s is acceptable really have left me a little angry. I have no regrets about my c/s and hate being made to feel like I was uneducated about my choices or should be ashamed because I had a c/s when other moms didn't.

I really hope we can keep this thread alive so other mom's don't visit here and get discouraged that they might not "fit in."

[OnTheFence]

Ana,

Welcome to our group. I am sorry you are facing this but glad you will get some support here.
I have a csection birth plan that you may want to utilize, especially since I had many of the concerns that you did about bonding and the baby.
I have high risk pregnancies so I know how that can be rough in and of itself.
I sense your csection will be scheduled. If so, I think that is great -- because that gives you time to prepare, make decisions about pain control, your baby's care, and to make this the best experience it can be.
Please ask any and all questions! One of us is sure to help or help you find an answer.

Kim

[its_our_family]

Yup, OTF has a great birth plan. I have on too if you'd be interested.

Planning a c/b is totally different than an unplanned one. I've had both and it is so much easier planned. Recovery is faster and easier. I had no problems getting around after my planned c/b. With my unplanned one I couldn't move at all hardly for weeks. This time around I was up and about in the first 15 hours! ( as soon as the epidural wore off and I had to have it for 10 hours minimum...which was fine by me )

Lots of great info around here!!

[Susu]

ananicole,

already at 28 weeks your little one has a lot going for him/her. i echo others with saying that a planned c/b is the way to go. one of the things they can do is give the baby a shot of surfectant (sp?) a day before the section to help in lung development if you end up with an early due date. it may not be needed but it's definately not somehting that can be done in an emergency.

to be prepared for the event that baby needs to be in the NICU, either have a breast pump ready (you'll need a good one if you plan to pump 24/7) or make sure that the hospital provides one. you might want to make a visit to the NICU and become familiar with their feeding and visiting rules. some are more regimented than others.

and remember, just because your baby is born early--even at 30 weeks--doesn't necessary mean problems and the NICU. many "late" preemies are perfectly healthy and just need a couple days of observation if anything.

[AnaNicole]

Thanks for all the support and ideas! Yes, I would love to read any and all birth plans. I need to start drafting mine soon!

I am becoming more at ease with the facts of this situation. I am still worried that I might suddenly start bleeing though.

[azyre]

I dont think Ive posted on one of these threads before. But I need some extra support today so am coming looking for it

Tomorrow is my DD 1st birthday and so today is the anniversary day the whole natural birth train derailed. I was sad yesterday when it was the anniversary of the day my waters broke (no labour, and I had gbs) and was ok today until I read an email from a friend who was basically patting me on the head, alls well that ends well. I hate it when people assume 2 things - 1) that you are unrealistic about birth and too stupid to realise you can't make it go to plan or 2) that you weren't educated enough to avoid it.

I have come to grips with lots of the circumstances of her birth. I see where the whole system is screwed, I see where I made decisions I could have made better, but I also think I made good decisions given circumstances and my understandings at the time. But I also remember ob's trying to scare me and being nasty, a nurse slamming a door on me, the pain of having an internal fetal monitor placed (what a horrible thing to do to an unborn baby) and the pain of having the epidural before the csection. Afterwards, I had BP issues and we both were treated for infection and I was ill. The post partum period was really tough, and I did a bloody fantastic job against a lot of odds. Can someone please share my outrage with me at a crappy old time without qualifying it in anyway? I bet you guys can I don't want to write about how much I love my daughter or that it was worth it I just wanna acknowledge what happened. Because most of the time I am ok with it.

I really feel uncomfortable with dwelling, I guess partly because of people's reactions. It feels very self-indulgent. So along with feelings of sadness I feel very self conscious. This is my second vent online today.

[OnTheFence]

Leah,

Can I just say BTDT have the T-shirt.
After my first csection I felt like a train wreck for a good year.
Also on my daughters birthday, I remember, yes it was her birthday, but I also vivdly remember the trauma and crap I went through to bring her into the world.

Can I just say it takes time. Time is all we have. And no matter how you have your next baby, but if you have another baby, sometimes their coming into the world does a lot of healing for us.

I think its good it recognize what choices we made that put us in that position but at the same time also keep in mind that some things are just out of our control. Yes you choose to get on the train that day, but you had no idea it was going off the tracks.

Sometimes its just good to BITCH.
Sometimes you just need a {hug}

I think working it through, and enjoying your baby is the only way things will get better. Time will heal you in many ways.

Welcome to our little place on Mothering -- keep stopping by!

Kim

[rebasea]

Dear Ana-
After my c-sec I spent 5 days with my baby on the NICU ( he was full term but they suspected, wrongly, spinal menigitas). Here are some of our survival stratigies:
Make friends with the social worker - I boarded for free in the hospital. Make friends with the lactation consultant - with all the stress I thought it would never work - but with their help I was pumping enough so he only needed forula for one meal, and when we got home it took about weeks to get my milk supply up so I do all the feedings. Go to rounds - it's your right and it's really informative. Get people to come visit you - it's really isolating and lonely on the NICU - but you get to have visitors and it made a huge differance, infact my favorite early photo of us as a family is 6 visitors in hospital gowns and us. People say we look like a chior. Because it was a short stay we choose to fight to have a family member with him 24/7 - long story.
Best of luck,
Rebecca

[bwylde]

Wow, how could I have missed this before . I haven't read everything, but maybe I'll catch up sometime!

I had a c-section for my son (an emergency, things were going really bad) and it looks like I'll have to have another one this time around. I don't mind, it went really well for me. I had an excellent recovery from the first. I had him at night and I was walking around the next morning, I didn't have much pain (unless I got up the wrong way, ouch!!), I was discharged after 2 days, I was back to most my activities in no time, ect...

I agree with Susu who said she doesn't give out the reasons. While I know for a fact he would of been born dead if I'd of pushed to go natural, I hate the condescending tone when I say I'm probalby having another section. There are legit reasons why. I would love a VBAC, but I'm not risking my life to have one. It's not like I'm ignorant about the issue. I've done my research and I'm comfortable with whatever result I end up with. I'm still a woman and a mother either way.

In a way, I hope it's all planned. I look forward to knowing what's going to happen, that way I can plan things for my family, my son, have things ready to go and ready when I come home. I know unexpected things can come up, but I can handle that too.

[emmaline]

Originally posted by azyre
. Can someone please share my outrage with me at a crappy old time without qualifying it in anyway? .

yep, can do, it was cr@ppy - the system, the doorslamming nurse, the lying ob, the fetal monitor (oww ), the infections, the hard start at bfing, the minimising of your cr@ppy experience

OTF said some good stuff

come back and say more whenever you need to leah, I keep integrating bits of my experiences all the time with various perspectives popping up at different times, it's not surprising that there should be a big stew of feelings around dd's birthday

[ladylee]

Yes, we can and will validate all of those feelings.

Welcome to all the newcomers!

Hi emmaline!

[emmaline]

lee how are you?

[ladylee]

OT-I'm good overall, E-but lately I could use a break from the girls. DH has been pulling weekends and late nights, and soon will go away on business for three weeks. When I'm by myself the energy gets depleted faster-things like exercising fall to the side which I don't like. But again, overall I'm good! How about you??

[ladylee]

Ooops-I see a new thread has been started-c'mon over emmaline!

New thread:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hreadid=130092