All Girls School - Good or Bad? - Page 2

[Okapi]

Like a PP, I went to regular public school for K-12, then a women's college. I LOVED it! In fact, my 10 year reunion is this weekend (tomorrow!!!) and I can't wait to go back!! I will say, though, that the fact that it is a women's college had almost nothing to do with why I picked it - the other college I applied to was an engineering school that had been all-male until the year I was looking (so I would have been in the 2nd class that had women). In fact, I didn't realize it was a women's college until I was on campus for the first visit (you would realize how ridiculous that is if you ever saw one of their brochures, I'm just one of those people who needs things spelled out, lol). So I guess I would say, don't go with a single-sex school you would otherwise not be as interested in just because it's single-sex, but don't count anything out just for that reason, either.

[seaheroine]

I think I would have really benefited from an all-girls school. I know I would have in high school.

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by SoulCakes

I know, "good or bad" is a little stark, but I couldn't fit a more subtle title in the space provided.

In short, I'm torn between two fabulous schools for my 5yo daughter for next year. They're both amazing academically, and I think she'd do well at either one. But... one's an all-girls school.

From people who have been there, done that: what are the pros and cons? I was initially against it, but as I'm learning more I'm starting to come around...

Thanks!

I am a BIG fan of all girls' schools. I went to one (state run, which is common in NZ) for high school. IMO at an all girls' school there is actually less social competition and bs than at a coed school (I switched to a coed school later). One of the things I really dislike about the Canadian school system is the lack of public single gender high schools. You have to pay an arm and a leg to go to a private one, if you get in. I don't understand why. Girl's schools are so much better for teen girls - they do better academically and they don't feel they have to dumb themselves down for the boys. One of the things I still appreciate about my Girls' school is how we were encouraged to do many 'male' dominated things ourselves - we did all the heavy lifting, for instance. Many of my classmates went on to have careers in science.

I'm so passionate about this I've actually been thinking about staring a school here that would just be for girls.

[hteb83]

I went to an all girls high school and think that academically it was great - socially it was fine as there was a "matching" boys school across the road, and we shared the sports fields etc

So, for high school I would encourage it but I'm not sure if earlier / later - when you're less likely to get distracted it would make as much of a difference!

[AnalogWife]

You know when you have those "3 Biggest Mistakes of My Life" lists....? One of my 3 biggest mistakes was leaving my all-girls hs for public school.

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by AnalogWife

You know when you have those "3 Biggest Mistakes of My Life" lists....? One of my 3 biggest mistakes was leaving my all-girls hs for public school.

Ha ha, I know what you mean. I regret leaving my public all girls' school for a private coed school. Coed school was not a confidence booster, for me anyway.

I talked it over last night with DH. I said I really want look into this seriously for dd's high school education. The thing is it's tricky here - all the all girls' schools are $$$$ or far from where we live.

[Kreeblim]

Originally Posted by lach

It totally depends on the girl and on the school, but I personally would not ever send my daughter to an all girls school. I think that girls are raised to be a lot more competitive than boys are these days, and I think an atmosphere of that sort of competition isn't a healthy place to spend adolescence. I think that girls have a tendency to be very critical of eachother. I see it all the time in grown women, both in real life and on message boards: whenever you hear a woman being criticized for her clothing or her appearance or her mothering skills, it's almost always being done by another woman. I think that the type of bullying and social stratification that some girls engage in is really detrimental and oftentimes downright evil. I find it interesting that the two friends I have who had/have eating disorders so severe that they ended up hospitalized went to all girls high schools.

This isn't to say that boys are all sweetness and light, or that they make social and academic situations simply wonderful. But I know that the social aspects of an all girls school would have eaten me alive. I think that boys and girls as general groups have very different ways of interacting with the world and with eachother, and I think that for many girls and many boys it kind of evens things out to have both influences.

The year I went to an all girl high school was the only time in my life that I did not get bullied and picked on by other girls. You don't realise just how much of the "mean girl" mentality is caused by competition for the attention of the boys until you remove them from the equation. The emphasis on fashion, jeans sizes and superfiscial stuff in general was just gone...I think I had gone into the year feeling exactly like you do in your first paragraph, and come out feeling really upset that the very presence of boys in a regular school could make girls into such disgustingly mean human beings.

Some all girls schools go out of their way to recruit troubled girls from the regular schools because the environment is generally so much more supportive. I cannot speak for the school your friends with eating disorders attended, but at ours the environment was extremely supportive and the girls with eating disorders had them prior to coming to the school. I always felt bad about my weight (and I wasn't even technically overweight) but the minute boys were removed from the class I stopped having to constantly feel self-conscious about it. I could actually just do school work.

[robinia]

I'm not sure about primary school, but for high school I think there is a lot to be said for a girls' school for the right girl. I went to a girls' school for most of high school, and while there was a great deal of "mean girls" behaviour, there was a lot more at the co-ed school I attended for some months at 15. The systems were quite different, so it wasn't just a matter of one being co-ed and the other single sex, but at the girls' school there was a lot more learning going on, educational standards were much higher and girls had more freedom to excel academically and in sport. Not unlimited, by any means, but more. At the co-ed school most of the day was spent on flirting, bullying and skipping classes with one's new boyfriend. (To be fair, one of my friends also skipped from the girls' school for the same reason, but it was less common!)

DH had a different experience, moving from a boys' junior high school to co-ed senior high school - he found the co-ed school much better academically and socially.

I'm torn for my own kids - co-ed should be a better preparation for life, but I'm just not sure that it is.

[*Jade*]

Like lots of previous posters, I loved my girls-only high school experience.

However, in my personal case, I don't think I was socialised enough with boys. For me, boys were boyfriends, not friends. To this day I still have hardly any male friends. (I'm not saying this happens to everyone, or even most, but it was my experience). Around here, there are girls only (private) schools, which go from age 5-18, and for the above reason, I wouldn't send my daughter there for all her schooling. I think it all depends on the socialisation your daughter has with boys. JMO.

[Girlprof]

As an academic, I get the pro-all girls school sentiment. Though I just had a student do a paper on this topic and I think the more recent research is mixed on whether there are academic differences or not. I know - I was surprised because I was sure there were, but she found research that there weren't.

Anyway, I was thinking about my own son. His very best friend is a girl. They have known each other since they were tiny and we finally got them in the same first grade class. Neither of them are mainstream kids. He's not that into sports. She's not at all into Hannah Montana. They are both a lot smarter and a lot crunchier than most of the other kids. It has been a godsend that they have each other. While I could imagine either of them benefiting from single sex education later on, it would not be good for them right now. Think most about your own kid. That's what really matters.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by Girlprof

As an academic, I get the pro-all girls school sentiment. Though I just had a student do a paper on this topic and I think the more recent research is mixed on whether there are academic differences or not. I know - I was surprised because I was sure there were, but she found research that there weren't.

This may be b/c the culture that tended to favor males for so long has started to wane dramatically. I recently read a book (Alpha Girls it was on the $1 table) about how we have finally come to a fully post-feminist generation of girls, who have not really felt misogyny the way older women have on a personal level. I could see how the trend of female student doing better and better in all settings would greatly dilute and possibly eliminate much of the advantage that was seen in all girl schools in the past.

[zoebird]

in irony, i actually have more male friends than female friends.

it is largely because i do not gossip and am not passive-aggressive. i tend to be very direct and open about myself, my opinions, etc. i also just abhor gossip, so i stay out of it.

i get along with other women who are like me, and most of us tend to have mostly male friends. LOL

[SoulCakes]

Well, we took a tour of the school and totally loved it, and not just because of the all-girls aspect! It seems like an amazing school. When I arrived, the head teacher met me for about five minutes and then said, "Here, these girls will be your tour guides." I was a little put off (I mean, really, eleven year olds giving me a tour of the school? What about all my questions!), but they were really the very best tour guides I ever could have asked for. They had a perspective that the teachers and directors just couldn't have, and were able to tell me everything about what they did and did not like about the school. They really loved it. One had been there since kindergarten and the other had been to one co-ed school and another all-girls school previously, and she could tell me a lot about what she sees as the benefits of being in a learning environment of just girls.

Anyway, it was amazing. Looking over my own history, I know I would have benefited from being in a girls-only environment (I was one of the ones who was COMPLETELY boy crazy, to the point I didn't focus on my studies at all), and given other outlets that we have for socialization with boys, I certainly don't think it will be harmful.

Still a few other schools to look at, but this one's at the top of my list so far. Thanks everyone for the input!

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by SoulCakes

When I arrived, the head teacher met me for about five minutes and then said, "Here, these girls will be your tour guides." I was a little put off (I mean, really, eleven year olds giving me a tour of the school? What about all my questions!), but they were really the very best tour guides I ever could have asked for. They had a perspective that the teachers and directors just couldn't have, and were able to tell me everything about what they did and did not like about the school.

I didn't comment on your original question because I don't have a strong opinion either way.

Your comment about student tour guides hit home though. Over the years, thanks to moving around, we've toured a few schools. I've always found the best tour guides to be current students. You can get good insights into what works and doesn't work at the school. It's interesting to get answers to questions like "What was the most controversial thing that happened last term?" "What's everyone talking about this term at school?"

Adults are a little too practiced at giving smooth, public relations-type answers to questions. Students are usually much more honest and up-front.