I work fulltime and my dh stays home with our 2 kids.
I do have higher standards than him and I tend to be more particular about how things should be in terms of a clean house.
So we have needed to talk a lot of this through and I have needed to let go of certain things. For me, I have to focus on how fortunate I am to have a loving, compassionate husband who does a great job being with our children. When I start to freak out on how the house is, that becomes my mantra. Also, when things are really bad, I tell him what I need and we try to work something out together.
So we do divide things up. here is a bit of a run down:
DH cooks, gardens, mows the lawn, frequently cleans the cat boxes, does the dishes and picks up the house on a daily basis. He will start but not often finish the laundry.
I cook a couple of times a week especially on the weekend, finish the laundry and do a few loads on the weekend, dust, do the big projects (changing winter to summer clothes, major cleaning like washing the walls, re-organizing things, sorting and purging), dishes on the weekend or in the morning before work. I also am a bit more successful at getting our children bathed a few times a week.
And we do a lot of this stuff together too. We homeschool our kids and we share that responsibility. When we are both home and we have guests coming over, we clean the house as a family.
I think the key is talking about it. Allowing him to state what is important (or not important) to him and you doing the same. And then asking for help when you need it.
Both parents need an outlet. My dh goes out for breakfast with his best friend a few times a month and I try to send him off in the woods when he starts to get frazzled. Being home is tough too. And I go out with friends, do a book discussion and read a lot!
When we have unresolved resentments, it can erode our relationship and cause hurt feelings. I speak from experience here, not judging your situation.
Good luck to you!
I do have higher standards than him and I tend to be more particular about how things should be in terms of a clean house.
So we have needed to talk a lot of this through and I have needed to let go of certain things. For me, I have to focus on how fortunate I am to have a loving, compassionate husband who does a great job being with our children. When I start to freak out on how the house is, that becomes my mantra. Also, when things are really bad, I tell him what I need and we try to work something out together.
So we do divide things up. here is a bit of a run down:
DH cooks, gardens, mows the lawn, frequently cleans the cat boxes, does the dishes and picks up the house on a daily basis. He will start but not often finish the laundry.
I cook a couple of times a week especially on the weekend, finish the laundry and do a few loads on the weekend, dust, do the big projects (changing winter to summer clothes, major cleaning like washing the walls, re-organizing things, sorting and purging), dishes on the weekend or in the morning before work. I also am a bit more successful at getting our children bathed a few times a week.
And we do a lot of this stuff together too. We homeschool our kids and we share that responsibility. When we are both home and we have guests coming over, we clean the house as a family.
I think the key is talking about it. Allowing him to state what is important (or not important) to him and you doing the same. And then asking for help when you need it.
Both parents need an outlet. My dh goes out for breakfast with his best friend a few times a month and I try to send him off in the woods when he starts to get frazzled. Being home is tough too. And I go out with friends, do a book discussion and read a lot!
When we have unresolved resentments, it can erode our relationship and cause hurt feelings. I speak from experience here, not judging your situation.
Good luck to you!
