Question about breastfeeding to go to sleep

[zoesmom2009]

My DD just had her 9 month check up on Friday. Everything went well except for the doctor's disapproval of me still using bfing to help her go to sleep (both at naptime and in the evening). She insists that this needs to stop asap, that DD needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. She said DD should have been doing that by 6 months. She even suggested letting her cio. Neither DH and I have a problem nursing DD to sleep and we are completely against cio. We've found nursing to be the gentlest and quickest way to help her fall asleep. DH says to not worry about it and keep doing what we think is best. But I can't help wondering if I'm doing something wrong? I'm usually pretty good at defending our child rearing decisions, but it was a bit of blow coming from our pediatrician who has thus far supported our decisions such as sleep sharing, clw, and delayed vacs. Please tell me that someone else out there continues to nurse their little one to sleep beyond 6 months and that I'm not being a bad mommy...

[rparker]

I still nurse my 2.5 year old to sleep. Pretty much the ONLY times she nurses now are right before bed, some naps, and first thing in the morning. Almost every breastfeeding mother/baby I've known the bedtime nursing session is the last one to go before the child weans... it's very, very common for a breastfed child to nurse to sleep.

You are not a bad mother. Your pediatrician is full of crap. CIO is child abuse. The pediatrician my daughter had at 9 months was fine with her nursing to sleep. Her current doctor is fine with her continuing to nurse to sleep. My husband is a pediatrician and he's grateful that she nurses to sleep (less work for him). I bet if you search the Dr. Sears website (askdrsears.com) he advocates children nursing to sleep too

[eclipse]

Tell your ped that you're there for medical advice, not parenting advice, thank you very much.

[kavamamakava]

I nursed my children to sleep all the way up until they weaned! What in the world could be wrong with that? When they cut down on nursing, the last one to go was the nap/bedtime nurse. How ridiculous to say it must stop ASAP. I also child-led weaned my three children and they finished nursing at the following ages: 3 yrs 9 months, 4 yrs 6 months, 4 yrs 2 months.
They are now 9,7,5 and go to bed when it's bedtime. I tuck them in and hug and kiss them goodnight. One thing I feel a little bit guilty about is that I don't read to them at bedtime. But my kids have always been very interested in the books and then when I tried to read to them all at once they would start wanting to turn the pages or ask questions about the story and it usually turned into an active time rather than a restful time. Sorry for the tangent there, but anyway, they go to bed just fine without nursing now and also it takes them about 5 minutes to fall asleep at bedtime in their own beds without me there with them.

[Llyra]

If the situation is working, and you are happy with it, and you feel that everybody in the family is getting enough sleep, then there's no problem. There is no medical reason in the whole world why you shouldn't nurse to sleep if it's working well, and a doctor has no business handing out anything other than medical advice. They talk about this like it's some kind of dogma, but all it is in the conventional mainstream OPINION.

CIO is wrong. You're right about that. Listen to your own instincts-- they won't lead you wrong.

FWIW, two of mine nursed to sleep throughout the first year and into the second, and one preferred other ways of falling asleep. All three of them are preschoolers now and have no trouble falling asleep alone. You'll hear all about "if you don't do it NOW she won't EVER sleep," which is nonsense. Nursing to sleep is natural and biologically appropriate and a wonderful bonding experience and there's nothing wrong with it at all.

[Drummer's Wife]

Yeah, I wouldn't think twice about what the ped said. That's silly. I was still nursing my 3 yr old to sleep and fine with it (not saying that your infant will need to nurse to sleep for years to come - just one of mine was this way).

The thing is, that it is a lot harder (IMO) to get a LO to sleep without nursing. It's definitely a tool I personally wouldn't want to have to give up until we were both ready.

[Katie T]

Originally Posted by eclipse

Tell your ped that you're there for medical advice, not parenting advice, thank you very much.

Yeah, this. I still nurse my almost 2yo to sleep and won't stop till she weans on her own or decides she doesn't want to nurse to sleep. I ignored my Dr when he tried to give me parenting advise and now that I have 2 more kids he doesn't even waste his breath, the first one turned out fine. None of my kids have issues will falling asleep on there own or with cavities. I wouldn't worry about it and if they asked I would smile and nod and say we have everything under control thanks.

[kavamamakava]

Originally Posted by Katie T

Yeah, this. I still nurse my almost 2yo to sleep and won't stop till she weans on her own or decides she doesn't want to nurse to sleep. I ignored my Dr when he tried to give me parenting advise and now that I have 2 more kids he doesn't even waste his breath, the first one turned out fine. None of my kids have issues will falling asleep on there own or with cavities. I wouldn't worry about it and if they asked I would smile and nod and say we have everything under control thanks.

Ooh the cavity issue. Breastmilk coats and protects clean teeth and contributes to healthy teeth at night.

[russsk]

I still nurse my 2yo to sleep for naps and bed. He's started to unlatch before falling asleep at night, which tells me that he's finding his own way to fall asleep on his schedule. I wouldn't think of forcing him to find another way before he's ready to fit a doctor's schedule.

[Sunflower66]

Don't question yourself! There is nothing better than nursing your child to sleep. Especially if it is not an issue in the family unit as a whole. I nursed my daughter to sleep until she weaned herself at 3 and to this day I will lay down with her and snuggle her in bed when she goes to sleep. If it works for your family it is the right thing to do in my opinion!

[DevaMajka]

I nursed ds1 to sleep until he was 3yo and we nightweaned because it wasn't working for me anymore.
Ds2 is 10mos old and still nurses to sleep most of the time. Ds2 doesn't nurse frequently at night, and I'm fairly certain he will stop nursing to sleep LONG before ds1 did. He already can settle himself back to sleep without nursing sometimes.

If it's working for your family, that's all that really matters. And a big to your dp for being so supportive!!

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

I bf my ds caden to sleep and he is 26 mths.
and your by no means a bad mummy

[Mama Khi]

My DD nurses to sleep at almost 11 months. I wouldn't have it any other way. Frankly, I don't think it is your doctor's business. Don't worry about it. A nine month old is still so little.

[capagrl]

My 47 month old son just weaned within the past two months after we bought him a bed (which is set up in our bedroom). So, yes, he will be 4 years old next month and he was nursed for nap and bed every day of his life until late March/early April this year. He has no cavities, and he now sleeps through the night in his own bed without a single fit. He still resists going to bed, but so do I... LOL However, we have a routine in place where he goes to bed when dad goes, so I get hugs & kisses and he & dad go up for "big boy bed time." He knows he's welcome in our bed any time he wants, but he's SO fiercely determined to be independent right now that he doesn't often do so.

So, your doctor is completely full of crap IMHO.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by kavamamakava

Ooh the cavity issue. Breastmilk coats and protects clean teeth and contributes to healthy teeth at night.

Now if only I could figure out how to get dd's lips open without waking her so I could squirt breastmilk on her front teeth. (and go back in time and start doing that when she first got teeth.)

[butterfly_mommy]

I wish my 27 mon old would nurse to sleep all the time still (he does when he is super tired) Usually he nurses once on each side and then unlatches says"All Done" and falls asleep by himself with me lying beside him.

I agree with what everyone else said. My Dr. doesn't even ask how we put DS to sleep she never asks me about parenting stuff only medical or health related stuff. (normal pees, poos, what food intake is like, what he drinks, etc)

[treeoflife3]

I still nurse my 14 month old to sleep. once in a rare while she pulls off before she is asleep and falls asleep on her own, but usually I have to unlatch her myself because she is totally zonked on me and has been for AGES and is now just sucking because its there and she forgot to let go haha

[zoesmom2009]

Thank you everyone for reassuring my instincts! It's comforting to know that there are so many wonderful mothers out there.

[zoesmom2009]

Originally Posted by treeoflife3

I still nurse my 14 month old to sleep. once in a rare while she pulls off before she is asleep and falls asleep on her own, but usually I have to unlatch her myself because she is totally zonked on me and has been for AGES and is now just sucking because its there and she forgot to let go haha

LOL, it's the same with my little one!

[Red Pajama]

Still nursing to sleep here-- she's two and a half. As long as it works, it works. Why change? It is the gentlest (and for me, fastest) way of getting her to sleep.

We are just now starting to introduce the rubbing of her back to help her fall asleep if I need something different, or for times when someone else puts her to sleep.