SAHPs with partners with long, unpredictable work schedules? - Page 3

[newtomotherhood]

DH is a Truck driver and is home 4-6 days a month, and lately it feels like even less, the other day he came home for about 2 hours after being gone for 2 1/2 weeks and hasn't been back in almost a week! It sucks that he is never home and I wish he were home more but I find that when he is home it disrupts our rhythm and everything gets messed up! It's not that he does anything to mess it up it is just his presence that seems to throw everything off wack! And it takes a day or so for things to get back into swing once he leaves again! DD and I are both cranky for at least a day after he leaves and I find the longer he has been home the harder these days are once he leaves! I just tend to do my own thing, and sad to say I sometimes feel more like a single parent than a SAHM!

I choose to stay at home so DD will at least have one parent around, I really did enjoy my job but can't imagine leaving her with someone else when she already doesn't get to see DH very much, to the point where she didn't know who he was and would scream if he came close or touched her! But she is starting to know him better, partly due to the two weeks he took off a few months ago, but than won't be happening again anytime soon!

Alot of people questioned my plan to stay home since we are very short on cash but I would rather do without somethings than DD be without a parent(When I was growing up both my parents drove truck and I spent most of my time with relatives or sitters and sometimes felt all alone, so I don't want DD to have to go through this)!

My post seems to have gotten away from me but what I trying to say is that on some levels I understand what it's like to have DH gone all the time for work!

[japonica]

We're also trying to get used to our new normal here. DH is an industrial HV electrician. He used to work in the city for the past 10 months or so (we moved here last August) and then the in town work dried up and he was sent to a mine about 2 hours from here. He lives in camp, is gone all week and comes home weekends.

The first few weeks were really, really awful. They're not a lot better now, but I guess I'm getting used to it...being the only one here after school, dinnertime, evenings to do everything. It's lonely though too. And the kids miss him a lot. I can see how my DD's behavior has changed, subtly, since he started the out of town work. And I'm tired, stressed...all that stuff. I've changed some of the things I used to do...we do easy dinners here, baths are every second night, that kind of thing...

It sucks that he is never home and I wish he were home more but I find that when he is home it disrupts our rhythm and everything gets messed up! It's not that he does anything to mess it up it is just his presence that seems to throw everything off wack! And it takes a day or so for things to get back into swing once he leaves again! DD and I are both cranky for at least a day after he leaves and I find the longer he has been home the harder these days are once he leaves! I just tend to do my own thing, and sad to say I sometimes feel more like a single parent than a SAHM!

This is the same with us too...sad to say. We have a pretty ingrained routine now for when he's not here and when he comes home, it's like we're on a holiday schedule or something...everything gets thrown off...I just get tired of doing 90% of raising the kids (and the discipline) on my own.