I just want to give up...

[femalephish]

I feel like we have so. much. debt. It feels like we will never be free of it. I don't understand how we got into this situation. But worse, I don't remember why. Why did we buy a house? (we're always behind on our morgage.) Our heat and electricity bills are almost always getting shut off. We just started to budget, so we can PLAN on paying our debt each month, it looked like we might just have enough, and then we started getting calls about a credit card balance that we forgot about. How do you forget something like that?

But that's not why I am so upset. My husband works SO much. LONG hours, overnights and at a physical job. We fight all the time about money and then we fight because he's never around. I just want to take our baby and move into the car because I feel like we would get more joy out of life if we were homeless, but could spend some time together. Why are wwe working so hard? This might be our only baby and my husband is missing it. I just want to give up.

Why are we doing this? Who decided that these things are important? *I just can't rant to anyone else* Thanks.

[Dandelionkid]

I'm so sorry I'm sure you have thought of ways to change your situation. Is there no hope for either a) more income from you or him or b) smaller home or living expenses?

[lookatreestar]

omg. i came into this forum feeling the exact same way. i never see my dh. life feels so heavy right now. ugh i just feel sick thinking about it.

[treegardner]

[treehuggermama]

I would say baby steps. No it is not going to change overnight but have you thought about trying a plan like Dave Ramsey's (or there are other similar ones out). Obviously right now keeping a roof over your head and your utilities on are very important but are there small things that you can look into reducing costs on to free up money? (ie cable, cell phone, eating out)

[cappuccinosmom]

I can imagine how scared and overwhelmed you're feeling. Left to myself, I'd probably be forgetting bills and credit cards too. I'm ridiculously absentminded and it's taken me a good 5 years of just plowing ahead and *practicing* being organized to get to a point where I'm even moderately efficient.

You can get this under control, and once you do, that will be a huge stressor removed from your relationship. But as someone who's been through scary financial times, can I just encourage you on one thing--don't let this make you and your dh turn on each other. Turn to each other. Fighting over money is part of a bad downward spiral, the fighting gets worse, and it's hard to improve finances when you're not working together.

I also highly, highly recommend you call Dave Ramsey's show. If you can get on the phone with him, you will walk away feeling very encouraged. He's very no-nonsense, but he's also good at giving hope to the people that really need it, and it sounds like you do.

[freestylemama]

It sounds like you need either more income or fewer expenses. Can you guys downsize to a smaller home? Can you get a job? You could watch another kiddo for some income or tend bar or wait tables at night a couple nights a week. It's not hopeless, but you need to take a hard look at why you're in debt and make some changes to get to a place that's sustainable. What can you cut now? Do you have cable or gym memberships or internet or phone that you don't need? Do you guys eat out a lot. Do you have anything (cloth diapers, carriers, etc) that you can sell to start paying off some debt?

I've seen people post their budgets and debt and get really good advice here.


Good luck!