TMI - Painful Intercourse UPDATE Post 30 - Page 3

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

Woa! Back off!

I saw this doctor for the first time last October for an annual (we just moved back to St. Louis August of 2009). I didn't bring it up because Delaney was still nursing and I associated it with breastfeeding. Delaney just weaned in February. Hubby and I weren't having much sex then because of the stress of my husband's diagnosis and the move. So it didn't cross my mind to talk to her about it. Well now we are back to being frisky and it's become an issue.

I saw this doctor a couple of weeks ago for breast pain. I DID NOT BRING IT UP.

Finally, I called on May 17th. Thats when the nurse said I should come in. Yesterday was the soonest I could get an appointment with her.

SO DO NOT BLAME MY DOCTOR! Blame me for not being a good patient.

I'm sorry that I offended you! Not my intention. Did you bring up what you put in your first post to her? That is what I'm addressing as far as her opinion that you are just having irritation issues. All of what you described about thinking the pain being related to nursing, childbirth etc. I so, so common and I went through it all to. It's when I went to my Dr. with all of my concerns after finally realizing something is just not normal and was NOT taken seriously and given the strong opinion of my Dr. that I just need more foreplay. At least yours offered to refer you later on. Vaginal pain is NOT normal! My PT keeps drilling that into my head.

I've learned to not get emotionally attached or defensive in regards to my health care providers. There are a lot of studies and how women do this sometimes to their own detriment. Like staying in a batter relationship/unhealthy relationship because of various reasons like fear or feeling powerless to change anything, not the "expert", etc. I am not insinuating anything, just that's its been part of *my* journey.

[samy23]

Think I belong in this thread too! Sex has always been painful for me, even before I had my dd. I did see a doctor when I was a teenager and after an examination all he said was "it's just tight because you haven't had sex much yet"...yeh right.

Years later and after pushing a baby outta there, and it's still "just tight"?

I asked on here about it a while back and was told it's likely Vaginismus which is when a muscle reflex causes the muscles in the vagina to tense up, making penetration very painful.

Occasionally the guy has felt this himself, and said it was hurting his penis...guessing due to the vagina muscles tensing around it?

I usually just keep going and try really hard to relax...it does get a bit better sometimes the more thrusting the guy does. (sorry tmi)

I have found it helps to "play" down there before sex...even the day before sex with inserting something to get it relaxed/used to it down there, this is good because I can do it as slow as I want so it isn't painful. Then if I have sex that day or the next day, it doesn't seem to hurt. -That's the only thing I've read about which can help this condition. I have no idea why I have it or why it started in the first place either.

Have you looked vaginismus up? could it be what you have?

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by samy23

Think I belong in this thread too! Sex has always been painful for me, even before I had my dd. I did see a doctor when I was a teenager and after an examination all he said was "it's just tight because you haven't had sex much yet"...yeh right.

Years later and after pushing a baby outta there, and it's still "just tight"?

I asked on here about it a while back and was told it's likely Vaginismus which is when a muscle reflex causes the muscles in the vagina to tense up, making penetration very painful.

Occasionally the guy has felt this himself, and said it was hurting his penis...guessing due to the vagina muscles tensing around it?

I usually just keep going and try really hard to relax...it does get a bit better sometimes the more thrusting the guy does. (sorry tmi)

I have found it helps to "play" down there before sex...even the day before sex with inserting something to get it relaxed/used to it down there, this is good because I can do it as slow as I want so it isn't painful. Then if I have sex that day or the next day, it doesn't seem to hurt. -That's the only thing I've read about which can help this condition. I have no idea why I have it or why it started in the first place either.

Have you looked vaginismus up? could it be what you have?

Oh, wow, I've never heard of vaginismus. It sounds like you could really benefit from physical therapy. Have you seen a Pelvic Floor Therapist?

Here's some info. about pelvic floor therapy from where I go. Bio-feed back is AMAZING!!

http://www.hands-onhealthcare.com/index.php?Page=9

Basically, you can buy the dialators online and you go up in size in progression. It has helped so many women. Here's a dialator set. It's not what my PT recommended but I can't remember the link.

http://www.vaginismus.com/products/dilator_set

The above link says this: "Highly effective for post-surgical recovery programs as well as for treating vaginismus, dyspareunia, vaginal narrowing and other similar gynecological conditions."

[JENinOR]

It looks like they have a complete treatment kit for Vaginismus with books, dvds, and dialators:

http://www.vaginismus.com/products/vaginismus_kit_dvd

I know nothing about this site, btw!

[JENinOR]

Okay, one important thing I wanted to mention that I gleaned from my PT is that vaginal pain should ALWAYS be taken seriously and acted upon in a timely fashion. So many women let the pain go on far to long. Sex should not hurt after a baby is born. Painful sex after the pp period is over should get checked out. Surprised at that? I was. Do not let a medical profesional/well meaning friend tell you otherwise. No need to have it go on for baby's first year(s) or at least without trying to diagnose/treat it. There it's been said. Now OWN it!

[samy23]

Originally Posted by JENinOR

Basically, you can buy the dialators online and you go up in size in progression. It has helped so many women. Here's a dialator set. It's not what my PT recommended but I can't remember the link.

Yes you can use them, or cucumbers and carrots...washed first ofcourse. I've also read of women using candles of different sizes. Gosh it's embarrassing talking about this stuff but it's a real problem for some of us.

Although I'm glad I think I know what it is, what condition I have, I'm still disappointed there's no actual cure for it. The insertion thing helps, but I wonder if I will have to do that forever? It's been many years of being painful already, with no real improvement, but I have been single for most of those years and not engaged in sexual intercourse. Maybe once/if Im in a serious relationship and having sex regularly, it might help?

[KatWrangler]

Originally Posted by samy23

Yes you can use them, or cucumbers and carrots...washed first ofcourse. I've also read of women using candles of different sizes. Gosh it's embarrassing talking about this stuff but it's a real problem for some of us.

Although I'm glad I think I know what it is, what condition I have, I'm still disappointed there's no actual cure for it. The insertion thing helps, but I wonder if I will have to do that forever? It's been many years of being painful already, with no real improvement, but I have been single for most of those years and not engaged in sexual intercourse. Maybe once/if Im in a serious relationship and having sex regularly, it might help?

Abimommy will have to put an Adult Content warning on this thread.

Hey, did you look at this site?

http://www.nva.org/

this one too.

http://www.issvd.org/

[KatWrangler]

Originally Posted by JENinOR

I'm sorry that I offended you! Not my intention. Did you bring up what you put in your first post to her? That is what I'm addressing as far as her opinion that you are just having irritation issues. All of what you described about thinking the pain being related to nursing, childbirth etc. I so, so common and I went through it all to. It's when I went to my Dr. with all of my concerns after finally realizing something is just not normal and was NOT taken seriously and given the strong opinion of my Dr. that I just need more foreplay. At least yours offered to refer you later on. Vaginal pain is NOT normal! My PT keeps drilling that into my head.

I've learned to not get emotionally attached or defensive in regards to my health care providers. There are a lot of studies and how women do this sometimes to their own detriment. Like staying in a batter relationship/unhealthy relationship because of various reasons like fear or feeling powerless to change anything, not the "expert", etc. I am not insinuating anything, just that's its been part of *my* journey.

Hey, it's cool.

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by samy23

Although I'm glad I think I know what it is, what condition I have, I'm still disappointed there's no actual cure for it. The insertion thing helps, but I wonder if I will have to do that forever? It's been many years of being painful already, with no real improvement, but I have been single for most of those years and not engaged in sexual intercourse. Maybe once/if Im in a serious relationship and having sex regularly, it might help?

I am so with you about feeling discouraged about no cure. It just plain sucks. I'm so uncomfortable and in pain today because I decided to go swimming with my hubs and kids at the local pool with chlorine yesterday and I started burning down there while in the water. I deprived myself of swimming for so long due to the vestibulitis. It was so much fun!! I was already a little flared up though (not normal at all these days) and I'm thinking that's because I'm allergic to latex condoms (fertile right now) because this always seem happen during O time and that's the only time we use condoms. OR it could be the hormonal change at O. OR the fact that I wore yoga pants for a few days in row, lol. Lots of possiblities. THEN, we had sex twice yesterday. HA HA. It was my birthday, so I celebrated. I'm paying for it today though and last night even. I haven't had pain like that in a long time. Regular sex did not help me at all, but we may have different issues. Anyways, I haven't given up hope. I am exploring and researching like no other. I want to know WHY I have this and treat the cause, if at all possible. I have some good leads, but will have to report back when I'm able to implement my personal holistic treatment plan.

I would recommend finding a GOOD PT because they can answer a lot of questions and really provide some great treatment. They can also make a referral to your DR. to prescribe Litocane which is a numbing agent you can use down there before sex. The physical therapy usually involved Litocane as well for 6 weeks before the dialator therapy (with no sex), during the therapy and after the therapy during sex and you gradually go off the Litocane (if you respond well) It's a whole plan and all the steps are necessary.

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

Abimommy will have to put an Adult Content warning on this thread.

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

Hey, it's cool.

Aw, thanks. I'm a just a wee bit passionate about this topic!

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by JENinOR

I deprived myself of swimming for so long due to the vestibulitis.

Just want to say that I would way rather have great, painfree sex than swimming again. Hands down. Also, chlorine is really not healthy to absorb into your skin, and I know this, but...

I use non-chlorine free feminine products for health reasons and to manage my vestibulutis, but then go swimming in it for hours! It was fun though. Sigh.

[JessicaS]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

Abimommy will have to put an Adult Content warning on this thread.

Then everyone will want one.

[samy23]

Originally Posted by abimommy

Then everyone will want one.

Lol sorry, I couldn't think of a discreet way to say it.

Thanks for the links everyone, I have some reading ahead of me!

JENinOR I haven't heard about Litocane, but that sounds really good. I was wondering if an anti-spasmodic might help since my pain is from the muscles tensing up.

I hope your research uncovers something to help your condition also.