Would you be leery of doulas recommended by docs?

[MegBoz]

I'm asking more for a friend then myself. She's planning a hospital birth with an OB (But at the BEST hospital for natural birth in our area.) She said her doc recommended a doula she's meeting with. He "had a stack of her cards."

I can't help but think that I'd rather find my own doula. As we all know, sometimes docs want to push things that aren’t in the patient’s best interest. When that happens, a good doula can inform you of your options & help to inform you of risks/benefits of the choices you have (including the choice to do nothing.)… even if that means disagreeing with what the doc is recommending!

Therefore, a doula that your doc recommends may be a doula who never disagrees with him! I'd just be a bit leery & would rather find one through other means.

Thoughts?

[jennica]

I agree with you, I would be leery of that too. I know some docs provide their patients with a list of doulas they can choose, and try to discourage them from using doulas not on the list. It seems rather controlling of them if you ask me.

[mambera]

I think it would make me think more of the doc, not less of the doula. In general I'd rather not have an adversarial relationship in the labor room if it could be avoided. Bad vibes, yk?

[stik]

If the doc has a good track record of encouraging and empowering birthing women, the doulas they recommend might be awesome. And frankly, not every doula out there is good. There are some who really over-step their professional boundaries, or are very judgmental of women in difficult situations, in addition to those who fail to provide effective support because they are too eager to get along with docs and hospital staff.

I would take the card and give the doula a call. I wouldn't automatically rule her in or out as a birth attendant without talking with her. But the final decision comes down to the mom, not the doc's recommendation.

[Otterella]

As a doula, I would be THRILLED to have a doctor think highly enough of me to recommend me to his/her patients. I agree that not having an adversarial relationship is important, and if she already has a doctor who is natural birth friendly, he's likely to be doula friendly, too. A friend of mine who is a very good doula is the main doula recommended by the most natural birth friendly doctor in the area, and she's not the type to be afraid to speak her mind. Sometimes I think we're so programmed to be paranoid against OB's that when we find one that breaks the mold, it feels "too good to be true". It really may be that this is a doctor who just "gets it" when it comes to informed patients.

If you're really concerned for your friend, have her talk to other doulas in the area about each other. While we are technically competition, we function more like a community or a sisterhood. If there is a doula in the area who is not on the same page as the others, or is just in the doctor's pocket, the other doulas will know. Not that we would bad mouth each other or anything, but still let her know what the real story is.

[AlexisT]

It would really depend on the doctor. I've met doctors that I would believe are steering you towards compliant doulas, and others who I believe would recommend a good one.

It could also be a mutual arrangement--the doc recommends the doula, the doula recommends the doc. That makes it sound a bit sleazy, but as long as no money is involved, it's ethical. It might not even be a formal quid pro quo.

[coldandsleepy]

Definitely depends on the doctor. I live in a very natural birth friendly area and have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful OB/GYN who 100% supported what I wanted. She's someone who I trust deeply and I would expect quality from any doula she recommended.

If it was an OB who I felt uncomfortable with, didn't trust, etc, then obviously I'd also doubt the doula recommendation.

[laohaire]

I could see it going both ways. I personally would conclude good things, though.

1) A doctor who goes out of his way to recommend a doula sounds good. One who is more the "shut up and do what I tell you" type might "tolerate" a doula who doesn't challenge him, but isn't going to expend any effort actually recommending her - at least not unless he was asked.

2) A doula that has a good relationship with a doctor is a GOOD thing. It could mean that she kowtows to him, but I think it's more likely that he's a good natural doctor and works well with her, and that she also isn't a sherman tank to him. All good stuff.

But yes, I concede it's possible he is a "I am the god of the delivery room" kind of doc and she kisses his butt and they have a racket that railroads women into medically managed births while making them believe they are making informed, natural decisions. But somehow I think the other possibility is more likely. "God of the delivery room" would just throw his weight around, not bother to "depend" on a doula to trick his patients.

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by laohaire

1) A doctor who goes out of his way to recommend a doula sounds good. One who is more the "shut up and do what I tell you" type might "tolerate" a doula who doesn't challenge him, but isn't going to expend any effort actually recommending her - at least not unless he was asked.

Good point! But my friend asked the doc about doulas - & the doc gave her the card. If the doc proactively said, "here's a good doula!" Then yeah, I wouldn't have any concerns!

Excellent point to ask for feedback from other doulas - I agree - if she kowtows to a doc who acts like "God of Delivery Room" - then word will get out.
Thanks all!

[laohaire]

Originally Posted by MegBoz

Good point! But my friend asked the doc about doulas - & the doc gave her the card. If the doc proactively said, "here's a good doula!" Then yeah, I wouldn't have any concerns!

Hmm, yeah. BUT, having a stack of cards is still different, it's an active recommendation I think. It's not "Fine, since you insist on having a doula, let my secretary look up that one from last month who didn't drive me crazy like all the others do."

[lifeguard]

I think if a doc has a doula s/he works well with that is super. With the way most ob's work (as in not being in the room for most of the labour just the delivery) having a doula there ensures better care for their patients.

I had a fabulous ob though who respected all my wishes & anyone he recommended I would have been happy to have around.

[JennTheMomma]

No. The hospital I had my first son at has a Doula program. They don't work for the hospital, but they volunteer, and they also teach the childbirth classes.

[fireHC11]

I'm a doula, and I left a stack of cards with my OB. "I'm volunteering," I said, "so if you know someone looking for a volunteer doula, please refer them to me."

Come on, the first visit is an introduction. If it's clear personalities don't match up, or we're on totally different wavelengths, either one of us (me or the client) can walk away.

I wouldn't be leery of a card I got from the OB, but, just like with any doula I'm interviewing, I'd pay careful attention to my instincts during our initial meeting. I'd meet somewhere we could chat gal-to-gal, and I'd come prepared with a list of questions.

[PieKat]

I have first hand experience with this and it DID make me nervous. Here's my experience. I found a doula--independently who just happened to have experience with my current physician. In the course of my pregnancy, she started working more closely with my OB, which started making me nervous, but it ended up just fine. Apparently my birth experience with my daughter really showed my OB how much good this doula can do in a woman's birth, and I was so happy to be that person.

This time around, they're working together even more closely and my OB is actually paying the doula fees! Like I said, it did make me nervous at first, but I know these people now and am so comfortable with their support of my wishes that I'm thrilled to be working with them again.

SO, my experience would be to definitely talk to that doula and see how she likes her. It was a great thing in my case. If she gets the feeling the doula will truly be her advocate and support during labor, it could be a great thing.

[NSmomtobe]

I think it depends on the doctor. My doctor asked me for the name and phone # of my doula so she could recommend her to other patients.

[aramat]

I think it's great!

[SeekingJoy]

My doula was recommended by my OB, whom I really trusted, and she was terrific. Granted DD's birth was fast and fairly easy with no complications so there were no opportunities for clashing between the OB and the doula and what I might want, but all the same, I think it depends on how much your friend trusts her OB.

[wombatclay]

My first birth I found my own doula, it didn't work out well, and despite being a doula myself I basically swore off having a doula at a future birth. The OBs I saw for dd2's pregnancy/birth were actually really worried about a vbac mama without a doula and suggested two different doulas they thought would mesh with me and my past birth experience. I interviewed them and did ask one to attend me. SHE ROCKED. Since then I've recommended her to all my friends and random pregnant associates and she attended my third birth a few months ago. I will be eternally grateful that my OB suggested her.

That said, around here even the 'not very crunchy' offices have a doula book... a binder doula cards/brochures/flyers. So I'd mostly be looking at the care provider. If I like them/trust them then I'd certainly be interviewing their suggested doulas. I'd be interviewing several though, and making an informed choice.

[Happiestever]

Not necessarily. Some docs are really familiar with certain doulas because they are always there. It could just be that one doula has a lot of clients and has been a BP for a long time. I know some great doulas who teach and attend at the hospitals frequently and they are amazing.

[maybemom05]

I wouldn't necessarily worry about it. After my first DS was born, my OB asked my doula if she had any cards with her. The Dr said, and she was careful to say it in front of all the nurses, etc. who were also in the room (and to be fair, were also great!), that she'd really appreciated everything my doula had done for DH and me and that she'd love to work with her again.

I liked that she did this in front of the staff because I felt like it sent a real message that the people "in charge" were welcoming of good doulas.

I really feel like our doula was a rockstar, and I'm thrilled that she's getting more business from the OB referrals.