or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › February 2010 › 2nd half of May chat thread
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

2nd half of May chat thread - Page 3

post #41 of 62
To the mamas worrying about their babies eating at night (not sleeping solidly for 8 hours or whatever): babies need to eat at night! Our milk is super duper extra fatty at night and they "know" this and want to drink it up! Don't worry about it. It is totally normal for breastfed babies to sleep like yours are sleeping. Mine usually sleeps a 3-4 hour stretch at first (maybe 9-1am) then is up every 2 hours or so. Breastmilk is digested really fast, and they get hungry and are growing SO much! So try not to compare yourselves to other babies/parents. It's just a recipe for disaster on so many levels.

AFM, I am seriously considering sacrificing some living being to a dark lord for some pain relief from the shingles. / It is so freaking painful, I had no idea. Taking care of a 4 year old and infant while writhing in throbbing pain = so fun! UPS better show up soon or I'm turning to the dark side...
post #42 of 62
Oh, and as for exposing kids to the chicken pox via shingles: I asked my dr. and she said it's not impossible for it to happen, but it's really really unlikely. So fingers crossed that she's right! I cannot possibly handle one more freaking extra horrible thing right now.
post #43 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleS View Post
Caleb has some nights where he goes to sleep just fine and then others where he wants to stay up all night - maybe you just caught her on a good night?

I must be pretty good at giving the "I don't need your advice" vibe, because aside from the stating the obvious kind of comments like "wow, you have you hands full" people don't try and talk to me too often.
I wish I caught her on two good nights, but I don't think so.
And can you give me a lesson on giving off that vibe in public?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie34 View Post
Linchi
sleeping 8 hr stretches? I am jealous!
typing 1 handed with baby in my lap

so you think cio worked for those friends of yours?
I wish my baby slept 8 hrs!
our schedule isn't that solid yet he is only 9wks old.
He goes to sleep around 7 and wakes once to feed and I usually change or ec him so it feels ike being up for an hour. then he sometimes settles easily or sometimes grunts and tosses and turns and keeps me up for a long time .
then he sleeps till 6 or so.
sometimes he wakes up twice in the night

How old was that baby when they let her CIo for 15 monutes? I am curious about this though I don't htink I could do it!
I am trying to set a schedule for Teo but not sure quite how yet
She is like 2 days older than Iago, so 13 weeks now and our dinner at their house was about a month ago.

Katie, Teo sounds like a great sleeper too! 7pm - 6am with one or two wake ups? That's really remarkable!

I don't think CIO works for good reasons. I would never want to subject Iago to that. Plus, I am thrilled with the way he sleeps. As well, he sleeps with is crib sidecarred to our bed and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Just curious but do you mamas think I should be trying to put him to bed earlier? Is 10:30 / 11 to late for a baby? He naps whenever he wants throughout the day. For now he seems happy with how things are. I am more curious if I am setting us up for bad things later. Everyone else's baby seems to go to bed much earlier.

It's embarrassing to admit but I think I am upset because I thought I had the most perfect baby (sleep/ temperment/ etc). That's a stupid thing to have an issue about, but I guess that's me. Obviously every baby cries. That doesn't reflect bad on either me or him.
post #44 of 62
Katie, most proponents of using CIO say to wait until baby is at least 6 months. Now I will say, and hopefully not get too flamed for it, that on really fussy nights with Caleb I have set him down in his bed and said "look, you've been doing this fussy thing for (however long it's been) and mommy needs to pee so I'm putting you down" and laid him down and just let him fuss while I go to the bathroom and whatever. I take my time (not more than 5 minutes) and that's enough for him to go to sleep if he just wanted to be alone.
post #45 of 62
Chessa, did you ever have the chicken pox yourself, do you know?

---

Linchi, is their baby formula-fed? Formula takes longer to digest than breastmilk...

Look, Iago's sleep schedule sounds fine to me. If you're happy and Iago is happy, that is all that matters.

Moms have this competitiveness on these kinds of issues, and it's not fair to anyone. Nobody gets a medal, and when Iago is a doctor working in the Peace Corps, nobody is going to say it's because he slept through the night at an early age. Although...maybe you could say that you never made him CIO as an infant, and that's why he loves people so much.
post #46 of 62
Personally, I define CIO as starting when baby has that deep, from-the-gut cry and tears. When Ju has tears, that's like a 'baby emergency' here.
post #47 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by aramat View Post
Personally, I define CIO as starting when baby has that deep, from-the-gut cry and tears. When Ju has tears, that's like a 'baby emergency' here.
See, that's the thing...so many people define CIO differently. I've seen some people who consider it to be CIO if you allow your baby to cry at any time for any reason. Others only consider it CIO if you let them get to the full out screaming, purple face crying - fussing/whining is ok and doesn't count. Some people say it's about your intention - so them crying in the car is ok because you are singing, talking, etc. and there's nothing else you can do, but leaving them to cry in the middle of the night alone is not.

Personally - to me crying is crying. I don't think it's any less stressful for Caleb to cry in the car for 10 minutes just because I'm there singing than it is for him to cry alone in his bed for 10 minutes while I take a shower or just get a "breather". I'm not an overly crunchy/AP mom (so you will likely see less of me when we get booted) so I'm ok with allowing them to cry some (within reason, I'm not talking about hours of screaming or anything). And I simply cannot go running to him for every single whimper with three other kids. I can tell the difference between the "I'm bored and want to be entertained" cry and the "I think something is WRONG and need help now" cry - the latter is a drop everything and the former can wait a few minutes while I finish up what I'm doing.

I don't know if that makes any sense?
post #48 of 62
Oops, I must have missed a couple of posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeta View Post
To the mamas worrying about their babies eating at night (not sleeping solidly for 8 hours or whatever): babies need to eat at night! Our milk is super duper extra fatty at night and they "know" this and want to drink it up! Don't worry about it. It is totally normal for breastfed babies to sleep like yours are sleeping. Mine usually sleeps a 3-4 hour stretch at first (maybe 9-1am) then is up every 2 hours or so. Breastmilk is digested really fast, and they get hungry and are growing SO much! So try not to compare yourselves to other babies/parents. It's just a recipe for disaster on so many levels.
I wonder if that is why my kids tend to be leaner? Even fed on demand they seem to sleep longer stretches earlier on than average (it's not unusual for Caleb to go 6-8 hours now).

Quote:
Originally Posted by linchi View Post
I wish I caught her on two good nights, but I don't think so.
And can you give me a lesson on giving off that vibe in public?
Haha, it probably comes with the frazzled look and multitude of kids! Or the fact that I am semi-convinced that my 6 foot frame is intimidating to many people...
post #49 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleS View Post
I can tell the difference between the "I'm bored and want to be entertained" cry and the "I think something is WRONG and need help now" cry - the latter is a drop everything and the former can wait a few minutes while I finish up what I'm doing.

I don't know if that makes any sense?
Among my IRL friends, this has sometimes been the difference between 1st-timers & moms of more than one -- deciding how to respond to different cries. A mom of one is usually more sensitive to all cries, whereas a mom of many just doesn't have the luxury so learns to listen for when she is really needed. ...What I'm saying is, I think you are 'crunchier' than you think -- you're just experienced, busy, & practical! I think assuming there is only one way to be crunchy makes the whole idea of Attachment Parenting seem weak. ...I think AP at its most basic is really just about communicating with your children.

I followed Dr Sears to the letter with my first daughter, but I feel I did her a disservice. With my second, I also followed him to the letter, but with new, experienced eyes--so a different interpretation! Just emphasis on different areas. And my kids are amazing, but I think my 2nd daughter has a much better start in life than my 1st did, judging by their interactions with the world.

Am I babbling? It's hard to make sense typing with one hand!
post #50 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by aramat View Post
Chessa, did you ever have the chicken pox yourself, do you know?
I did, when I was 14. Apparently anyone can get shingles anytime if they've had chicken pox and have a depressed/suppressed immune system for whatever reason - the reason elderly people get it more frequently is because they tend to have more compromised immune systems. In my case, it seems to be due to fatigue/exhaustion. I'm one of those people who absolutely needs 8-9 hours of sleep a night to be well. I never ever pulled an all-nighter in college and I was always the first to pass out at a slumber party. So this cobbled together sleep for me is pretty close to torture. I don't know how I did it with no problems for DS1, but it might be trying to keep up with DS1 and DS2 now that is getting me in trouble. I've never been good at napping - ever. Now when either of them is asleep I feel like I have to put in quality time with the other one or, you know, eat or go to the bathroom or do laundry or something. Our house is a total and complete disaster, so don't think I'm constantly cleaning or anything - to the contrary. I'm talking the most basic levels of cleanliness - i.e. having clean underwear and dishes, sweeping 1x a week (we have hardwoods and a 4-year-old who snacks constantly so it needs it daily)...i just want to sleep for 24 hours straight.

We're going to my parent's tonight and I think we'll stay for the week so I can catch a break and not have to deal with anything except eating, sleeping and feeding/changing the baby.
post #51 of 62
Linchi, are your friends French? CIO seems to be soooo the norm hear. I hear horror stories about people leaving their newborns to CIO all night long. And it sounds like you have a WONDERFUL sleeper, I'm so jealous! My LO is now waking up every 2 hours to nurse and I'm wiped out.

And your baby will let you know if your schedule isn't working for him. DS1 was a night owl, but DS2 INSISTS on being in bed at 7pm. It's so strange for me, but I'm happy that I understand what he wants!

I also get a lot of stuff from random strangers in the street-- though usually it's temperature-related: "That baby needs a hat, doesn't he???". So annoying!
post #52 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by linchi View Post
The first time we were there she CIOed for about 15 minutes, fell asleep then about 1/2hr later CIOed again. They didn't even go in and check on her.
That just made me so sad! Every fiber of my being goes up when one of my babies cry - be it my 6 yo, 3 yo or 17 week old! Even when I hear other babies cry (at the store or wherever) I want to grab them and nurse them!
post #53 of 62
Thread Starter 
Tonight I am thinking about having a second baby. Of course this is the end of the week that I had so much help- having a baby with three well rested people to care for him is great! Tonight we went to some relatives house for dinner- people I haven't seen in yrs and were very close to in childhood. Anyway- Teo was very over stimulated and tired from the busy day and started having a meltdown. Crying non stop, red in the face, nursing didn't help, walking and rocking- nothing stopped him. But there were like 8 of us there and everyone took a turn soothing him and eventually it worked. It felt so great to have all of these people (family) helping and loving my baby. I miss that when I am home- sort of far from where I grew up which is where I am visiting right now. Having a baby makes me really want my family around. But at any rate right now I am thinking I want to have a sibling for my baby! Had a great week over here. Teo had so much fun!
post #54 of 62
Hi all... I hope you don't mind me popping in here... but I'm new to the forums and mothering and wondering what this thread is all about? I am 32, have a 6 and 3 yo, and a bubs due in August. I love classical music and play piano, sing, compose and also love to cook, love walking and chattin.
Posted via Mobile Device
post #55 of 62
sorry. wrong thread! see, I said I was new so can make an excuse lol.
Posted via Mobile Device
post #56 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by aramat View Post
Among my IRL friends, this has sometimes been the difference between 1st-timers & moms of more than one -- deciding how to respond to different cries. A mom of one is usually more sensitive to all cries, whereas a mom of many just doesn't have the luxury so learns to listen for when she is really needed.
I'm glad you said this because I wondered how I could tell the difference in DDs cries and never got the hang of it with DS. That was one thing that I thought would come naturally and never did! My mom would always say, Don't you know what he wants from his cry? And I would think, no, but the boob usually works Now with DD, I can definitely tell if she is tired, hungry, or wants to interact.
post #57 of 62
Oh - another thing with the breastfed babies and STTN. DS was up every 2 hours around the clock for almost a year. DD already sleeps 6-8 hour stretches if I let her. For the most part, she's up once a night, nurses quickly and goes straight back to sleep. She is definintely not gaining at the rapid rate DS did, but she is still gaining. I do sometimes wonder about my supply though because of it.
post #58 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by aramat View Post
Among my IRL friends, this has sometimes been the difference between 1st-timers & moms of more than one -- deciding how to respond to different cries. A mom of one is usually more sensitive to all cries, whereas a mom of many just doesn't have the luxury so learns to listen for when she is really needed. ...What I'm saying is, I think you are 'crunchier' than you think -- you're just experienced, busy, & practical! I think assuming there is only one way to be crunchy makes the whole idea of Attachment Parenting seem weak. ...I think AP at its most basic is really just about communicating with your children.

I followed Dr Sears to the letter with my first daughter, but I feel I did her a disservice. With my second, I also followed him to the letter, but with new, experienced eyes--so a different interpretation! Just emphasis on different areas. And my kids are amazing, but I think my 2nd daughter has a much better start in life than my 1st did, judging by their interactions with the world.

Am I babbling? It's hard to make sense typing with one hand!
Online at least it seems like there are multiple definitions of AP as well. I actually agree with most if not all of the 7 B's (I'm too lazy to go look up the list and double check right now). But I've been told that because we do some things - like we have circ'd our boys and we do use spanking on occasion - that we can't be AP. I dislike labels anyways. I figure I'll do what works for my family and other people can do what works for theirs.

With my "real life" friends I'm pretty middle of the road. Some are more AP/crunchy than I am, others are less. And we manage to get along ok.
post #59 of 62
One year ago today I got my BFP. It has been the most amazing year and I am so in love. Being a mom is awesomely hard and awesomely rewarding. I am so thankful that I was able to get pg, have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. I am so very blessed. This little guy is really just so very precious to me.
hope you all have a good day!
post #60 of 62
nak

started a new thread for us in lwab
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: February 2010
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › February 2010 › 2nd half of May chat thread