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I'm so hurt--please give me a hug!

post #1 of 91
Thread Starter 
We were at a family party yesterday. My DS (3) has been using the potty for about 6 months, but he's still learning the ropes when it comes to the idea of using the toilet in public or in other people's homes. He's really independent and prefers to take care of things himself. So I guess yesterday, he felt the need to pee, walked to a corner of the yard, and went behind a tree.
No big deal to me, no big deal to DH, no big deal to in-laws (who are down-to-earth people and agree that when a little one has got to go, better to go on the lawn than in your pants). But evidently, it WAS a big deal to the other side of the family (my DH's sibling's spouse's family) who complained loudly and for a long time after we left about how disgusting that was and what kind of parents were we to allow such a thing.

I'm just beside myself over this. Who could say such a thing about a child--MY child--an innocent 3yo who has no concept of what's socially appropriate??
post #2 of 91
I would ignore them and try to find the humor in the situation. What a cute story this will make when your son gets older. I think it's pretty cute anyway.
post #3 of 91
Uhhh, sounds like they've got issues. Dude, it's fine. Your kid was fine. No sweatin the lame people.
post #4 of 91
I'd be surprised if there are any boys who haven't done that! That's a horrible way to talk about him, a little boy who is still learning. I could understand if they weren't happy about it, but they shouldn't try to shame him, and you, about it. Though if it wasn't their house, I really don't get being upset by it.

IMO, they're not nice people and you shouldn't spend any time worrying about what people who are not nice think. Also who told you what they said? That wasn't cool to repeat it and make you upset.

I'm sorry!
post #5 of 91
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Some people obviously have nothing better to do with their time. When my ds was three we were at a backyard birthday party and he dropped his pants right in the middle of the yard and relieved himself! I was mortified but at least everyone else at the party saw the humor in it.

Hey, at least your little guy went behind a tree.
post #6 of 91
Holy crap. I can't believe there are people out there still who feel the need to pour such negativity over something so ordinary. For what it's worth, my little brother peed off our back porch for years when he was younger. *shrugs*
post #7 of 91
Their problem not yours. I can see being appalled at a much older kid doing it, but a three year old? Like you said, he's got no concept of what's socially appropriate.

(((hugs)))
post #8 of 91
((((Hug)))

What everyone else said about it being their problem not yours. Try not to let it get you down. And just be glad that it wasn't what my nephew did at that age...

At about age 3, my nephew decided he had to go when we were all standing outside our IL's church. Well, dn apparently decided he had to go right there and then because all of a sudden we looked over and saw him watering the bush that grows next to the front steps of their church! He hadn't even gotten off the steps and gone around to the grassy area. He was just peeing between the railing onto the bush! If your ILs were that upset about your ds going in the corner of the yard, just imagine what they'd have said about that!
post #9 of 91
well, I could see if he had peed on something that they were using, or wanted to sit on, that'd be weird. But, it's nothing a hose can't fix.

If they were just being uptight about his lack of social graces... they should have been with my daughter when she peed in the display toilet in home depot. That wasn't cute.

I hope they never go camping. They wouldn't last an hour.
post #10 of 91


When my oldest ds was a baby, he ran around outside nekkid all the time. I lived out in the country and thought nothing of it. One time I had new childless neighbors over for dinner (and at 17, felt very GROWN up to do this). We were all sitting around in a circle on the deck and my ds came into the middle, squatted and poo'ed. My boyfriend and I started laughing about it but the other couple (who I had thought were super laid back hippie types) did NOT find it funny. I think they swore never to have children after that or at least never to allow said children to run around nekkid.
post #11 of 91
I'm sorry you're upset. Don't be. (easier said than done) It's their issue, he's a 3 year old and when they gotta pee, most reasonable people don't get upset when they use a tree.
post #12 of 91
I think it's totally weird their panties are in a bunch about that. I'm impressed your little guy to matters into his own hands (as it were). I think it's totally normal AND a non-issue.
post #13 of 91
As far as I am concernced, little kids still potty learning can totally get away with going outside. I'd let my kids if we were all playing outside. He knew he needed to go, he knew he was outside, AND he knew he should go behind a tree rather than in his pants or right next to someone. He did the RIGHT thing in my mind. Why try to make it to the bathroom when the backside of a tree is more convenient? He is totally young enough to get away with that
post #14 of 91
post #15 of 91
It's not like the OP said, "Hey, hon, just go pee in the sandbox over there!" He's a little boy, he needed to go, he went. It was out of the way, no one TOLD him to do it, it just happened. I don't know any little boys who have not, at some point, decided it just made more sense to pee in the yard.

I am possibly the most uptight person on MDC when it comes to public nudity, bodily fluids, and germs, but even I file this under, "Oh well, it happens."
post #16 of 91
The school I work at used to have this issue with one of the kids

I have known some grown men in my lifetime who peed in their yards!

I don't see it as a huge deal since he was over by a tree. I mean, he is three and peeing outside is probably cool in and of itself. I wouldn't worry about it, OP
post #17 of 91
OP I don't see the issue the one side of the family had with it, particularly since the owners of the house were ok with it. FWIW, when DS was around 4 or so my then stepdad taught him the guy priviledge of the world was his urinal. So he'd be out in the wading pool and suddenly jump out to pee in the grass. That was bad enough to break, but his little sister saw this and followed suit! One day it was chilly out and DS and DH were outside playing catch. DD was potty training, announced she had to go pee, and tore off outside to squat in the middle of the yard! (At least she was housebroken?)

ETA: Nevermind. I'm just really surprised at the discussion this is turning in to!
post #18 of 91
Because a tree at the edge of the yard was in his line of sight or had been in his line of sight while he was outside. He likely had no idea where the bathroom was or heck, even if there was a bathroom. Out of sight, out of mind. Maybe he couldn't find mommy or daddy in time and decided to take matters into his own hands. As others have said, I'd far rather my kid peed on a tree instead of in his pants.

So he peed at the base of a tree. So what. If my kids are playing that close to a tree chances are they're either climbing it or trying to climb it and if that's the case then I have more to worry about than whether or not they're walking through human pee. You're outside, pee happens. If you don't want to walk through pee or have your children playing in pee then don't go outside because I can guarantee you that there's plenty of pee from all kinds of critters out there.
post #19 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by treeoflife3 View Post
maybe he had seen another animal go outside and figured since he needed to go, he could do the same thing...
This reminds me of a little boy my mom babysat many years ago. He'd occasionally crawl up to one of our chairs in the living room and lift his leg. Just like his dog did when he peed at home. Whether or not he was actually peeing at the time I don't know since he had his diaper on. Kids this young are mimics, who knows maybe he saw a dog do the same thing.
post #20 of 91
This all just seems so bizarre to me, as I don't think I've been to a family function that didn't include the males peeing on trees. My husband's family is way classier, and they still pee in the woods when outdoors and busy. It's just what you do when you live rurally.
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