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I'm so hurt--please give me a hug! - Page 2

post #21 of 91
When I was young and taught preschool, I had a little boy once who was 3 years old, and pretty close to potty trained. He knew to use the toilet, and most of the time he did. However, one day on the playground, I found him on the other side of the slide, pants around his ankles, peeing. We giggled, then reminded him to use the potty when he needed to pee. That afternoon I mentioned it to his mom, and she was embarrassed, saying that they had been camping that weekend and her DH had taught him how to pee standing up by a tree. We laughed, knowing where it came from, and knowing that we would have to teach him the difference. That wasn't the last time he peed on the playground before he finally learned when it was socially acceptable to pee outside.

It's not like the OP's ds said, "Mommy, I need to pee" and she said, "It's ok honey. Just go right here." He just did it. No harm, no foul. What was she to do at that point? Dig the wet dirt up and throw it away? Wipe up the grass with a towel? What's done was done. Laugh about it and remind him to use the potty.

Once, DH was driving down a long stretch of highway with DS in a driving rainstorm. Of course, about a mile after one exit, and about 3 miles before the next exit, DS grabs himself and starts crying that he has to pee RIGHT NOW. So, DH pulls off to the side of the road, crawls into the back seat, pulls DS's pants down, opens the car door, and aims his stream of pee out of the car. They never even got out of the car to pee. That was much better than him feeling the supposed "failure" of peeing in his carseat. The funny thing was that DS thought it was so interesting to pee that way, that he kept asking to do it for a while after that. If he could have, he would have happily peed out of the car again. Of course, in this situation, he is physically unable to do that on his own, but I can totally see how if the novelty was peeing on a tree, he would do that when no one else was looking.

OP, better for your son to make it to a tree and feel good about his accomplishment, than to have peed in his pants and felt sad for missing.
post #22 of 91
s OP. Your DS did nothing wrong, and you did nothing wrong, and your family members are UAVs.
post #23 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette View Post
This all just seems so bizarre to me, as I don't think I've been to a family function that didn't include the males peeing on trees. My husband's family is way classier, and they still pee in the woods when outdoors and busy. It's just what you do when you live rurally.


I would have thought it was cute to see a 3 yo peeing behind a tree. Not a big deal at all.

OP.
post #24 of 91
My DS has peed outside lots of times. He knows not to make a habit of it but sometimes he has to do it. I'd much rather him pee on a tree than in his pants. Sometimes kids that age wait until the very last second to tell anyone they have to pee and even if you're outside at someone's house there simply isn't time to make it to the potty. Those relatives are just being uptight.
post #25 of 91
Can you imagine the snit those relatives would have had if the little guy had tried to make it to the bathroom and didn't get there in time and instead peed on the carpet?
post #26 of 91
and hey, peeing outside is better than peeing in his pants, if you ask me. I probably wouldn't have brought any extra clothes - so what would everyone say if he had to walk around with wet clothes the rest of the time.
post #27 of 91
My kid has done it and most little boys I've been around have done it, and I don't generally hang out with disgusting people. I do, however, hang out with a lot of campers and hikers.
Why does a 3 year old pee on a tree when a toilet is available? I dunno. Just like I dunno why a 3yo likes to put his underwear on his head.
post #28 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by liliaceae View Post
s OP. Your DS did nothing wrong, and you did nothing wrong, and your family members are UAVs.


Both of my boys pee by the trees in my backyard. One is 3, the other is 7. It's no big deal. I definitely prefer for them to hit a tree instead of run through my house dripping wet (from playing with the hose) and tracking dirt and mud everywhere just to go in a toilet.

When my 7 year old taught his little brother how to pee by a tree, it was one of the sweetest moments ever. And when I saw my 3 year old watch his big brother and copy what he was doing, it was beautiful. The act of peeing? Not so beautiful. But, the love and admiration between my kids around that simple thing that all boys eventually do - it was perfection. Not dirty. Not disgusting.

There are these wonderful, innocent things that children do that are more than just cute, They're classic. They're miraculous. Unabashedly peeing by a tree is one of those things.
post #29 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by lotusdebi View Post


Both of my boys pee by the trees in my backyard. One is 3, the other is 7. It's no big deal. I definitely prefer for them to hit a tree instead of run through my house dripping wet (from playing with the hose) and tracking dirt and mud everywhere just to go in a toilet.

When my 7 year old taught his little brother how to pee by a tree, it was one of the sweetest moments ever. And when I saw my 3 year old watch his big brother and copy what he was doing, it was beautiful. The act of peeing? Not so beautiful. But, the love and admiration between my kids around that simple thing that all boys eventually do - it was perfection. Not dirty. Not disgusting.

There are these wonderful, innocent things that children do that are more than just cute, They're classic. They're miraculous. Unabashedly peeing by a tree is one of those things.
Wow, no one has ever made me teary eyed over the mental image of boys peeing. You made it sound so wonderful though.
post #30 of 91
Hugs Mama. Regardless of if people think peeing outside is inappropriate or not the reaction of those relatives were totally out of order. Personally I don't see the big deal, I would not have had a problem with it.

Interestingly, one of survivors of the quake in Haiti told the story of drinking his urine..... yuck yes. but it seems as though that is what kept him alive. The "germs: did not kill him.

For liability reasons Im not suggesting that anyone do this lol.
post #31 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azik's mom View Post
For liability reasons Im not suggesting that anyone do this lol.
<--- Oops! Wish I saw your disclaimer sooner!




post #32 of 91
A boy at age 3? I would have just said, "Thank goodness he didn't pee his pants" and maybe offered to point out the bathroom (in a kind way).

I don't see any reason to make a big deal out of it. 1) If it wasn't just an accident or growing pains and the parents believed in it, what could I do? Change their minds? I doubt it. 2) If it was an accident then it's pretty low to yell at a mom and a 3yo! Sheesh.
post #33 of 91



the time to grow up comes soon enough. when you have to grin and bear it, when you have to hold your pee while running around looking for a restroom. let children be children. their innocence is a joy to watch, people who miss to see that in children are sad folks. let them be.

it's only a kid's pee. ironically, some of these uptight people who are so grossed out by a child's pee don't think twice about applying cancer causing pesticides and fertilizers on their lawns! go figure.
post #34 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azik's mom View Post
Interestingly, one of survivors of the quake in Haiti told the story of drinking his urine..... yuck yes. but it seems as though that is what kept him alive. The "germs: did not kill him.

For liability reasons Im not suggesting that anyone do this lol.

Bear Grylls has drunk his own urine on the tv show Man vs. Wild (aka Born Survivor) many times.

My boys have peed of the back veranda if their isn't a bathroom available (3 of them are much older than 3).

Found a intresting thread in the Diggin in the Earth forum about using urine as fertilizer:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1223035
post #35 of 91
I've peed behind trees. Recently. Which means I was nowhere near 3. And yes, I am fully potty trained but sometimes, when nature calls, you just gotta go! (In my defense, I was hugely pregnant and had to go, but still...)
post #36 of 91
Returning and reopening

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post #37 of 91
post #38 of 91
My DD has done this, in the middle of the party. We did say, oops, let's find a potty. But not a soul thought it was weird, and it was a party of mostly boys!

Also, since she and I spend a lot of time on the road for doctor visits, we usually just pee on the side of the road instead of risking nasty public restrooms where she just can't avoid touching stuff. It's quicker and cleaner, and, I think, safer. I do keep a tiny potty in the car for such purposes, but there's still a shiny white booty there.
post #39 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by lotusdebi View Post
There are these wonderful, innocent things that children do that are more than just cute, They're classic. They're miraculous. Unabashedly peeing by a tree is one of those things.


Quote:
Originally Posted by seawind View Post
the time to grow up comes soon enough. when you have to grin and bear it, when you have to hold your pee while running around looking for a restroom. let children be children. their innocence is a joy to watch, people who miss to see that in children are sad folks. let them be.
post #40 of 91
I'm going to try again.

I don't think it's OK for anyone to pee in a backyard. I see where your DH's family is coming from. They probably don't have a problem with your son but rather with what he did and your reaction to it. Maybe it's something to think about and use as a teaching moment. You could tell him that while you don't have a problem with what he did, some people do and so he should ask where the toilet is the next time you're at someone else's house.
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