Traveling without his dad

[Picard]

For some time now, I have been asked by various family members in Europe to come and introduce DS (25 months). It would involve a 10 hr flight to the first country; a week later, a few hours flight to the next destination; a week later a long train ride to the last destination; and, a flight back to the first destination. This alone seems pretty daunting to me. I have been stalling because DH cannot come with us, so I have to do this alone. I am wondering if any of you have done a three to four week travel like this on your own with a toddler. Also, DS really, really loves his dad and is totally attached to him. Lately even, he only wants to play with dad and politely sends me out of the playroom. I am just wondering what kind of psychological impact a month-long separation from his dad would have on him. Have any of you got experience with this? What are your thoughts? DS is a pretty easy-going kid, but we have not traveled much with him.

[NicaG]

Hmmm....that sounds like a lot of traveling. Is there any way you could visit just one or two of those destinations, or maybe the other relatives could come to you while you're in Europe? That itinerary seems pretty ambitious if you have not traveled much with your ds, and it seems ambitious to do alone. Then again, if you have help from relatives at each stop along the way, it does take the pressure off you somewhat. How long would you stay at each stop? A couple of weeks?

But anyway, I think that itinerary might be too much for you and your ds. The disruption in sleep, the disruption in mealtimes and foods, the stress of being away from Dad....it sounds like a lot of stress for your ds.

Is there any way you could do a weekend trip somewhere as a sort of "dry run" to see how ds fares while you're away from home? We've done a few international trips, and it always seems to go more smoothly if we've gone on a shorter trip in the previous couple of months--then we know what works and what doesn't on the plane, we know if the kids are at an age where they can sleep in a new place or if they'll just wake up crying all night long, or need to be driven to sleep for hours every night (my kids are not great sleepers, sigh).

We did a trip to Europe when ds was about 2.5, flying into Madrid and then flying to Munich two weeks later, where we stayed for a week, then flying home. We weren't visiting relatives (but we did rent an apartment in Madrid), so the situation was somewhat different, but I can't quite imagine adding more flights/train rides/destinations to that trip. We had a good time, but it was a lot of work. I'm not sure I could have done it alone, even if there were relatives at the other end.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

[rightkindofme]

I wouldn't hesitate with my toddler. (Ok, I would because I am 6 months pregnant... but otherwise I wouldn't.) I have taken my daughter on 3 week long road trips alone. It's not exactly the same as flying/train but the train bit would be a lot easier. But I've been taking off and traveling with my daughter alone since she was 10 months old. I'm very very into traveling and my husband... isn't. And my kid is very happy-go-lucky and adaptable.

If you don't feel comfortable you should think long and hard because it really will all be on you. It doesn't really matter what other folks think. I would have an easy time but that doesn't mean you would. I'm not you and we have different kids. If you are asking if I think it sounds doable and like fun, absolutely. BUT I'm not you.

Don't suffer to please other people. It just ain't worth it.

[karmamamaa]

Don't worry, you'll be fine!

Again, as a Flight Attendant I am always looking for us "others" on Mothering. We lead a strange life (i.e DD flying with one of us to London once a month for a week of babysitting by my parents in the UK when I am working) and we travel all over the world just happy to have a seat and not work!

I was way more worried about DH traveling without me! They really come through and again as a FA I totally see so many dads with their kids who do such an amazing stressfree job.

With us mums, you'll find its 99% easier than you'd imagine. Use the time zones to your advantage. You, as in daily life, know when your child should sleep or more importantly when they should TRY to sleep in order to facilitate future plans. In severe time zone situations go with what we were taught when the babes were new i.e "sleep when the baby sleeps". Anticipate what comes next when you must be awake and take care of yourself and know what you need and lead the babes that way.

My husband and I have only traveled together once and on a whole out of about 50-60 times since DDs birth (20 months) due to diff. parenting styles I think it is easier for one or the other to take our DD! You'll be fine sometimes I think it is easier and more enjoyable to parent a toddler while traveling than at home!!!!