Coming down to the wire... I want ds's passport... - Page 2

[Theia]

This is just a wild stab in the dark type suggestion... but I'll throw it out anyway. Could you write up a letter and have it notarized to give to DS's father when you go up over Mem.weekend that addresses his "concerns" about allow DS to travel overseas with you. Just something to make it look nice and give him a level of comfort. Then present that, and the request for him to sign off on the passport paperwork when he is in front of you. Don't give him time to think about it in other words. The letter is more just to be like the carrot on a stick as you hand him the ink pen so he can sign the passport application. Give him the exact dates of your travel this time and anything else you think would be helpful in convincing him that you are going on a visit, not an international move.

Just something to think about.

He's not a very involved father and is just being a UAV because he can. Maybe regardless of if he does or does not sign the passport paper work you should just go ahead and rock the boat and take him to court anyway. At some point it has to be enough for both you and DS to be able to live your lives more freely without having to jump to his every whim, when he has them every other year.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by Theia

Could you write up a letter and have it notarized to give to DS's father when you go up over Mem.weekend that addresses his "concerns" about allow DS to travel overseas with you. Just something to make it look nice and give him a level of comfort. Then present that, and the request for him to sign off on the passport paperwork when he is in front of you. Don't give him time to think about it in other words. The letter is more just to be like the carrot on a stick as you hand him the ink pen so he can sign the passport application. Give him the exact dates of your travel this time and anything else you think would be helpful in convincing him that you are going on a visit, not an international move.

He has no concerns. I asked him straight up when he refused last time what his concerns were and he said "nothing. I have no problem with Owen getting a passport and you taking him out of the country. I think that would be a great opportunity for him". He's playing this whole game where he wants me to take him to court first (over the passport) then he'll try to piggyback and counter sue me for more visitation He'll either do that or he'll make me take him to court and then just not show up (like he did for the moving issue- he had no issue with us moving, he just wanted to piss me off so refused to sign my lawyers papers and instead made me take him to court... where he didn't even show up. Within the last year he told me he did that "because I wanted you to work for it. you knew where I worked and could have found me at any time". I'm not a freaking dog and refuse to chase him down. I'll spend the darn money to take him to court because then HE looks bad for not showing up and refusing to sign the darn papers!).

Originally Posted by mama2myangels07

they have to be married 6 months. we are getting ready to go through this.

Thanks!!! I was getting conflicting information (one place said 1 year, one place said more than 1 year.... it's all over the place!).

Originally Posted by Momily

Do your DP and your DS have the same last name? Do you know whether information about legal parents comes up when they scan the passport at customs/immigration.

That's the hard part- ds, dp and myself all have different last names. I was stupid and gave ds his bio-dad's last name when he was born (of all the things that have happened in the last 6 years that's one of the few things I regret). We would probably be a big red flag traveling together with nobody having the same last name.

Next time we go to court that will be something I'll be asking for- to change ds's last name to my last name. It has been such a headache to have it different than mine. I could deal with the headache if his bio-dad was actually involved, but he's not so it's stupid to give him that last name.

But..... I think this will all be a moot point anyway. DP just found out last night that his travel dates might be moved. Right now it's possible he'll be traveling the day after we get back from Florida (June 14th). That's definitely not enough time to get mine and ds's passports so we'll probably just plan to stay here and have fun I will still ask him to sign the passport when we go up there for memorial weekend (if we go up there) just on the off chance he says yes and signs it (dp is almost guaranteed to be doing more traveling this year so the passport would be great if we decide to go with him on any of his trips).