2 under 2. Tell me it's going to be ok!!!!

[texmati]

I so desperately want to feel happy about this pregnancy. Is there any possible way that this could be a good thing for our family?

[KaliShanti]

Well, my sis and I were only 13 months apart and my mom said past the first year it was amazing. We grew up so close, did all the same things, etc. She is my best friend to this day.

[momtoTnT]

I understand totally! I was terrified when I found out I was pg with my DD, and struggled with being excited about the pregnancy, versus "robbing" my ds of his time as my baby. I think I finally accepted and became excited about the pregnancy about 20 weeks in, when I had my u/s and found out we were having a girl.

My kids are almost 16 months apart, and it was rough in the early days. It really, truly was. My oldest (DS) wasn't walking yet - he learned to walk when DD was a few weeks old. My DD was a very high needs baby, so that compounded things. I struggled a lot with people (DH, MIL, myself sometimes) not remembering that my DS was still a baby himself. I'll never forget the first time I yelled at my baby, who was only 18 months old, and how awful I felt afterward. I also had PPD, but wouldn't admit it (for a long, long time actually) so that didn't help either.

That was then - it has gotten tremendously easier as they have gotten older.

I can't imagine having my kids any farther apart than they are. Since they are close in age, I don't usually have to figure out 2 sets of activities to do to keep them both entertained - they both enjoy the same types of things, and are pretty agreeable to doing them together most of the time. They of course have their moments where they are fighting, but that's normal I think.

They are now almost 5 and just turned 6, and our family life is good, this WAS a good thing for us, and it is our normal, and I love it.

[hillymum]

My first two are 13 months and a week apart. That first year would have been so much better if I had been treated for PND and my husband had been more helpful and there for me emotionally. As it was it was hard going but had many many enjoyable and memorable times. Both children were walking (running) by 10 mths which added interest to the equation!
The one thing which really helped all of us was learning some basic sign language! Being able to communicate well with my first born made life so much more pleasant! My second son didn't really learn any but my third did and it was amazing.

You can do this! Hugs!

[jess5377]

My brothers are 14 months apart and my mom said it was really hard the first year and then it was great, she had two boys on her hands who loved nothing more than to play with one another - instant best friends.

She also said though, and this is similar to what some PPs said, that she had to force herself to remember that my oldest brother was still just a baby himself.

[lil_stinkyfeet]

I had 3 under 3 and I survived.. Barely

Just kidding you will be fine! My first 2 were 17months apart and 2 and 3 were 18months apart.

The first few months can be difficult, but not too bad. The most important thing I did for myself was to have them all of the same nap schedule and I put them to bed fairly early in the evening. As long as I got my "me" time then I was good

[texmati]

Any tips on keeping the breast milk up during that time... my son is such a baby still -- barely eats solids, doesn't crawl or even roll most of the time, and is kind of high needs (I hate to put a label on him, and I work, so he deals with a lot of change during the day).

I wanted to nurse him at least to 18 months/2 years.

[newbiemama09]

it will it will it will it will. you ALREADY HAVE the strenght in you to do it, you just have to channel it!!

my brother and i are 18 months apart, and my mom said the best time to have kids is either right next to each other (like we were) or when they're 3 or 4 years apart.

my personal advice: BUY A GOOD WRAP!!! how do you handle a newborn and a toddler without one!?!

[AllyRae]

My younger two are less than 2 years apart (and the baby was born about a year and a half after we adopted our middle child. It was HARD in the beginning because they both needed so much attention (our middle child also has some significant emotional/behavior special needs). But now, they are best friends (the baby is 16 months old and the middle one is 3). They play everything together and the baby will go up to our middle child and give her huge hugs and kisses all the time--she doesn't do that to her big brother. She's just so close to her big sister.

[hildare]

of COURSE it's going to be ok! congratulations mama!!
frankly, i am jealous. we're trying for the 2<2 but we need to get crackin if it's going to happen. you're gonna have two babes who are close and like to do the same things. you won't even have to pack your handmedowns away!

[boobs4milk]

hugs and congratulations!!!!

[AllyRae]

Originally Posted by hildare

you won't even have to pack your handmedowns away!

LOL, that's what happened to us. Because our two younger ones are girls, when one outgrows something, the other one is about ready to fit into it. And they were born in the same season, so it worked out well for not having to buy new clothes. LOL!

[lilith1]

I'm in it. Just put my 4 month old down for a nap while my 19 month old is in the sand box.
It's fine, we don't have family or friends here and still survived. Pregnancy was rough. Between the smell of the diaper pail, poopy diapers to change, long walks, lifting, play ground time- I don't have the best memories.
It's amazing.

[2boyzmama]

It WILL be okay.

My first two are 23 months apart, and my second is special needs, so caring for him was much different than caring for a "normal" newborn.

Number 2 and 3 are 2.5 years apart, BUT my middle son (the special needs one) was cognitively and developmentally closer to an 18 month old, not a 2.5 year old. Plus I had to deal with all of his medical stuff (appts, therapies, schooling, etc).

It is hard, I won't lie. There are days when just getting to the end of the day with all children alive and reasonably cared for is deemed a success. Then there are days when I get so much done, everyone is happy, and I think (insanely) "I should have another!!"

The first year or two will be hard, no doubt, but soon enough you will find the right groove and when they're toddlers/preschoolers, you will wonder how ay other family does it any other way. They'll be such great friends, they'll learn together, develop together, discover together. And fight together, get sick together (or worse, tag-team you with back-to-back sickness!)... It won't all be rosey, but overall, the good days will outnumber the bad ones

Congratulations!!!

Oh, and you might want to lurk (or even post!) over on the multiples board. Even though yours aren't multiples, those mamas have some creative ways to get through a day!!

[lovepiggie]

My grandma had six kids...under the age of five D:

But I think you'll do great! It's always amazing what we find we're capable of when it comes down to it. The first year will be tricky, when both babies are so dependant on you, but think about how wonderful it will be down the road!

[Icehockey18]

No experience, but I have a friend who became pregnant with twins when her first ds was 8 mo. She said the only thing that saved her was keeping them all on a similiar schedule (ie they all napped at the same time so she could recoup) now they are all grown (the twins just graduated from hs) and she said if she could, she would do it all over, exactly the same! congrats!!! You will be fine!!!

[colsxjack]

We hope to have 3 within 5 years or so. But at this point we only have one, so as a parent I cannot say.

I am however the youngest of 3 under 3 and I think it was great. My brother and sister were instant playmates and, although we didn't get along all the time, we did play together A LOT. That must of been helpful to my Mum and Dad since we kept each other busy.

My Mother also found it easier when we all played sports and other extracurricular activities. Between the 3 of us we always fell into only 2 age groups so it wasn't as hard for my Mum to allow all of us to play sports. Your two will likely fall into the same age group for activities and so you only have to spend 1 hour a week on the soccer pitch instead of two, etc.

My niece and nephew are only 18months apart and my niece was still able to help my sister out a bit. She liked to hand my sister a clean diaper or shake the rattle and dance to entertain the baby etc.

[birthangeldoula]

I'm due in August and currently have a 14 month old. I know how you feel.. I want to know if I will survive too. It's scary stuff.. but I heard if you take it day by day then it will be okay.
I hope they're right!

[Just1More]

Mine aren't super close, but my oldest will be 5.5 when our fourth is born. dd1 and ds are 26 months apart and that was HARD. He was very fussy, and she was old enough to really care. Ds and dd2 are 21 months apart. He minded her a bit, but mostly didn't notice, and the transition was great! I say that I didn't adjust to having 2 until #3 was born.

This dd2 and this baby will be 18 months apart. I'm actually glad it's a little closer. Yes, the physical end is hard, but I'd rather deal with that than with the emotional aspects of helping an older one adjust. That was WAY harder.

[BetsyS]

My first 2 are 23 months apart, so barely under 2. I liked it so well that we're doing it again next month (so, I'll have 3 under 4 for a couple of months). It'll work out!