6 yr old freaking out

[MaxMommy]

Hi, I don't usually post here, but I lurk....there's always lots to learn here

Please help me with my son, he's 6 and is having some anger problems.

He's still freaking out when playtime is over. Not all the time, but usually when he is having a really good time, and especially when he has friends over. It seems that no matter how many reminders of the time (10 minute warning, 5 mitute warning etc) he can't seem to handle the transition.

Yesterday he was riding his bike outside after supper with some friends, when they had to go I called out the window that it was time for him to come in too. He said "NO!" and continued playing. I went out to get him and he shoved his bike at me and yelled, then screamed when I insisted. I had to threaten to take his bike away before he came in the house, then was very angry for quite some time.

Please give me some tools to handle this kind of thing better. Max is the youngest in his class and has some behavior issues already (innatention, disturbing others, etc) I worry that maybe there is just too much expected of him and he is feeling stress. How can I help him to cope better, and at the same time let him know that he must cooperate when playtime is over.

Thanks, Sandra.

[nd_deadhead]

Hey, Sandra, I don't know if I have a lot of suggestions, but you definitely have my sympathy.

I have a couple of thoughts. Do you try to be really consistent with Max? If he sometimes gets extra playtime if he makes a fuss, he has a pretty good incentive to give it a try. He's also going to be more frustrated when it doesn't work.

Would it help to get him a cheap digital watch? I don't remember at 6 how good a grasp my kids had on time. Giving him a watch might give him a better sense of how long 15 minutes really is.

I would also discuss expectations before he even goes out to play. Tell him exactly what time playtime is over, that he needs to come inside at that time because (it's supper time, you have to go somewhere - make sure it's a good reason!), and you are counting on him to work with you. Acknowledge that the traonsition is hard for him - tell him you understand how hard it is to come inside when he's having fun. Remind him that you aren't doing it just to be mean - tell him why the time frame is important.

Is there somethine he really likes to do indoors? Mabe it would be easier for him to come inside if he got to do something fun there, before moving on to whatever you need him to do. Perhaps talk about that before he goes outside - "Max, when it's time to come in, do you want to watch TV for 15 minutes before supper? Or do you want to stay outside until suppertime?" Or maybe give him that choice at the time - we're eating in 15 minutes - do you want to play outside for that time, or come in and do X?

Has he been tested for ADD or ADHD? I hate to label kids unnecessarily, but if Max's teacher feels that his behavior issues are beyond the average 6-yr-old range, it might benefit him to see if he has some underlying diagnosis. If so, you can explore more effective ways to deal with those issues.

Good luck to you!