Originally Posted by umami_mommy
yup, i found that link last night when i was looking up "asynchronous development." i sent it to both her parents and her mom and i discussed it a bit today.
one of the links i looked at said that the higher the IQ, the more uneven the development is likely to be.
btw, I love Wendall Berry, too
It might also be a developmental stage she is going through as a 6 year-old.
"Six-year olds have to be right. The early self is fragile when it begins to recognize the perspective of others. Six doesn't accept criticism or blame with composure. Instead, he argues or even lies to avoid blame. He also hates losing and will blatantly cheat, or change the rules, to win in a competition. "http://childparenting.about.com/od/c...roldhome_2.htm
My six year-old, who is a very sweet, easy going boy, for the most part, tends to be more explosive these days then he was before. He is typically a passive playmate, and if he doesn't like what is going on he'll just go off and do his own thing. But he tends to get angry with me more often these days.
I would try to have her parents talk to her about how she can't be mean to your kids. Have a zero tolerance policy: first time she is mean/abusive to your kids, she goes home. Period.
And you have to follow through.
It sounds like she is dealing with some heavy stuff, and there certainly has to be consequences for her behavior. But you don't have to completely abandon her--it sounds like you are very close to her family, and it would probably be really sad if she lost you and your kids. But I would be firm about letting her know that she can't be aggressive/mean *at all*. And really pay attention to the kids playing--first time she goes home. I think that this might help her develop more positive social skills, and also send the message to your kids that they won't be abused by her, and that she can't get away with it.