Should I stay or should I go? Advice needed!

[Lupena]

I could really use some advice.... My husband, son and I are planning to go to a neighboring city, 2 hours over the border.. 2.5 hours from home. We are in Canada. I really would like to go - last little getaway for a while - but I'm feeling slightly nervous/ undecided. I would be going on Thursday, 23 days before my due date. This would never have made me nervous in my last pregnancy. ( I was 5 days early, 6 hour labor..)

Before I ask for opinions, I think I'm nervous because-
a) my labor is likely to be shorter - plus last time, it was posterior...and stayed that way, so no way would I have gotten into the car at all....
b) I am planning a home birth so if my baby came early ( don't think insurance would cover it...) it would compromise that and possibly cost me a bomb.
c) I have been getting strong, stabbing, pains ( cervix? vagina...? ) that I never had last time, and I have no idea what they are! The midwife thought they might be ligament pain, but wasn't sure... they seem to last about an hour. Very owee... Don't know if they are meaningful or if others get them..

I am normally not a very conservative person, but because of these pains esp. I thought I'd seek consult before I pack up.. ( I went down about the same time during the last pregnancy, which tells you how organized I am..)

BTW, DH is not worried ( says we can get home fast, which comforts me..) My mum and dad say it would be silly ( of course..) Midwife says there's always a risk, but it's what I'm comfortable with ( though she warned me insurance would likely not cover it.. )

What would you mamas (to be or to be again..) do?

Thanks SO much in advance!

[Kelly1101]

I would do whatever my comfort level is. If you're worried/scared/want to stay near to home, listen to that. If you feel okay with going, go. But don't let anyone else make the decision for you, you know what's happening with your body way more than any of them.

[etsdtm99]

so your insurance wouldn't cover you having the baby if you couldn't get home? that seems a little weird.. but really, you'd probably try to get home, right? .. i would be a little concerned about the short labor possibility, and the torture that would be laboring in the car ..

the stabbing pains in the cervix-area sound normal to me, i have had them with both of my other pregnancies after about 36 weeks (maybe earlier the 2nd time?) , they were way worse with my 2nd baby.. i don't know what they were but i went to 41 weeks with him and did not dilate much before labor.. do they get better if you sit down/lay down and worse if you're walking a lot or something?

[7swans]

Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable going unless I knew my travel health insurance would cover an emergency birth across the border, and I had looked into hospitals in the area I'd be staying in. That may seem paranoid, but one of my relatives had an emergency procedure in the states, and it was ruled to be a pre-existing condition by his insurance company so he ended up with a $60,000 bill. Obviously a birth is usually much cheaper than that, but I personally wouldn't be able to afford it. I would also be worried about every little pain and BH the whole trip, because that's how I am. The potential 2.5 hour car ride while in labour is a doozy, too.

All that being said, the chances of anything happening while you are there are pretty slim. Would you be devastated if you had to give birth at a random US hospital? Would it be extremely difficult for you financially? If not, then go for it. I think the stress factor is the biggest issue, so if you know that you will be able to relax then it's not a big deal.

[Lupena]

Thanks everyone, for all the great unbiased info... so helpful..

Thanks edts...I didn't realize the pains were normal, honestly that is great to know. They go away if I take a bath and seem to happen after exercise/ long walks a lot.

I agree, I should listen to my own voice, but my own voice is notoriously fickle, changeable. I have trouble with decisions - it's very annoying! Aghhh.

Thanks again...

[Lupena]

Still not sure... not like they'd let me bypass Seattle traffic and a huge border line up.. I want to go, but I've been MANY times. I wonder if I'll be able to go a couple of months after the birth?? I'm half in the mindset that I'll be 'marooned' for 7 months, like with my son... but determined not to at the same time.

[NorthernPixie]

You could (and should, being pregnant) get Blue Cross or something similar for while you're away, making sure they cover births. I recently did get Blue Cross for a trip but I was only 12 weeks so I can't remember what the situation was for actual delivery (vs complications from miscarriage, etc., which is why I'd called to ask). I had a "self pay" birth in the US that resulted in a section -- and cost upwards of $35,000. With no complications. I shudder to think of what it would be if I'd gotten an infection or something and needed extra help. OHIP covers $50 a day. I can't imagine BC Health covering much more than that. The financial hit alone would be enough to make me stay home. And then if your babe was born over the border s/he would be a US citizen and you'd have to apply for Cdn citizenship. I wonder even what border agents think about hugely pregnant women crossing the border? Hmmm. You've got to go with your gut on this one.

[Lupena]

Thanks N. Pixie, yes I called 6 insurance companies. ( I have coverage at work, but not after 33 weeks... and nary a one of them will cover after six weeks before due date. Wow, can't believe you had to pay for a c -section, major ouch! Glad you were both ok...

[pacificbliss]

I am actually 16 days from my EDD and would not go. I would not have wanted to go last week either. I am just far too nesty (is that a word?) to leave my house. I want to be home, I want my family home. I like puttering around the house. Just a thought.

[Lupena]

That's my problem, I love the feeling of leaving... any sort of trip. I miss my big trips!

Not that I don't love home, and esp. want to labor here.

[NorthernPixie]

Lupena, thanks - but thankfully that $35,000 wasn't out of my own pocket, my husband's work covered it because that's why we were in the US - but from a US hospital perspective we didn't have insurance.

How about instead of crossing the border, you cross the Salish Sea and go to Salt Spring or something? Then all you'd have to contend with is BC Ferries Or go inland to somewhere you've not been before. That way you're away, but not with all the silly insurance problems (and geez, what if there was a long wait at the border crossing!)

[lunarlady]

I would go, but then I would also be willing to have an UC at a friends/relatives house or even in the car/on the side of the road if for some reason I went into early labor. I live in the US and would not really want to walk into a strange US hospital and have a baby. Generally a bad thing ($$) no matter where you are from. That said, I would also try to be very aware of myself and how I'm feeling during the trip. With DD, I sort of knew within a day or two that she would arrive. I actually worked late the day I went into labor. Some of my collegues were like "go home and rest!" and I kept saying "I don't think I'm going to be here agian..." So I like to think that although I have short labors, I sort of know when things are coming to a crest.

The whole citizinship thing is pretty complex, but I guess I'm one of those go with the flow, don't worry about things until they come my way type of people. I even went on a plane flight for a vacation/baby shower 4 weeks before my due date, which made people wonder if I was crazy. But I figure -- deal with it when it comes.

[WildinTheory]

We are planning on heading across the boarder to Spokane this weekend. I too really want to go. I'll be 31.5 weeks. I went 10 days over with my son so I'm not expecting anything but I am just a little nervous. Both DH and I have travel insurance through work but it never occurred to me that they'd say pregnancy was a pre-existing condition. I'm going to call them today!

[WildinTheory]

So my insurance company indicates that from 37 weeks on there would be no coverage. (Interestingly enough, with DH's plan it is from 32 weeks on.) Before 37 weeks my plan says that they will investigate to determine eligibility based on whether or not it was a "forseen complication". Basically any complications you've had would be used against you to say you should have known something could happen. Luckily, I've been the picture of pregnancy health but I'm so glad I read this post and double checked. I can't imagine something happening only to find out you aren't covered!

Oh I should add that this applies to any out of province coverage, not only out of country.

[cagirlintexas]

Personally I wouldn't go. With all the issues you mentioned I don't think I would be able to enjoy the trip. Plus the insurance not covering if something happen would be to big of a risk for me to take. What does your gut say?