Unfounded fears - Page 2

[MissLotus]

Originally Posted by josybear

if my ex were a babysitter i would not hire him. not even if he were free. but it's the law, i have to let him take his kids. ceinwen, i completely understand. it's really, really hard to trust that the universe will take care of my kids when their dad fails, since he's guaranteed to fail on a regular basis. if i could i'd monitor their time together so i'd know my boys are safe, but i can't and it kills me. i have no suggestions, but all the sympathy in the world.

This is how I feel. Irresponsible is irresponsible, whether it's a parent or not, and if your kids are with someone who isn't fully capable of handling them or may have health issues that could prevent him from capably taking care of the children, it's worrisome.

Can't he put a gate on the toddler's door at night so if he's "unable" to wake up, at least she won't be wandering the apartment? If he knows he can't wake up, which would worry me too, then he must take precautions.

[spinknottle]

Originally Posted by MissLotus

Can't he put a gate on the toddler's door at night so if he's "unable" to wake up, at least she won't be wandering the apartment? If he knows he can't wake up, which would worry me too, then he must take precautions.

Now I think THAT is a fantastic idea. No more worrying about your toddler at night but yet e's still in control of his parenting relationship...........great suggestion!

[provocativa]

a gate would never have stopped either of my kids at that age. i don't really think your fears are unfounded, either. how is he "in control of his parenting relationship" when he: can't get up at night, and can't keep the kid safe in a parking lot, and can't choose an appropriate sleeping place (bunk beds should be for kids old enough to sleep safely in them, imo). i know you need a solution that doesn't unduly burden your 7 year old, but i have told my 6 year old repeatedly that cell phones are not for kids, except for divorced kids who may have an emergency and need to reach their mom or dad when they aren't with them. she understands, why wouldn't ceinwen's son?

[Chantelle691]

Originally Posted by provocativa

a gate would never have stopped either of my kids at that age. i don't really think your fears are unfounded, either. how is he "in control of his parenting relationship" when he: can't get up at night, and can't keep the kid safe in a parking lot, and can't choose an appropriate sleeping place (bunk beds should be for kids old enough to sleep safely in them, imo). i know you need a solution that doesn't unduly burden your 7 year old, but i have told my 6 year old repeatedly that cell phones are not for kids, except for divorced kids who may have an emergency and need to reach their mom or dad when they aren't with them. she understands, why wouldn't ceinwen's son?

[spinknottle]

Originally Posted by provocativa

a gate would never have stopped either of my kids at that age. i don't really think your fears are unfounded, either. how is he "in control of his parenting relationship" when he: can't get up at night, and can't keep the kid safe in a parking lot, and can't choose an appropriate sleeping place (bunk beds should be for kids old enough to sleep safely in them, imo). i know you need a solution that doesn't unduly burden your 7 year old, but i have told my 6 year old repeatedly that cell phones are not for kids, except for divorced kids who may have an emergency and need to reach their mom or dad when they aren't with them. she understands, why wouldn't ceinwen's son?

Can't get up at night. He told her once that he didn't wake up. That doesn't mean he can't. It means he didn't that time.
A bunkbed should be fine for a seven year old. She sleeps on the top, the younger child on the bottom, they all come with rails. I don't see how it's an innapropriate skeeping place.
And the two year old got away form him in the parking lot once, and he grabbed her. Has that never happened to you?? A child trying to run from you?
And I never said that ceinwen's son wouldn't understand the point behind a cellphone. I doubted that ceinwen herslef would be able to stop herself from calling the phone due to her anxiety issue's that she admitted to herself.

[rainbowmoon]

I would listen to your intuition. I mean really listen to it. It sounds like you do have some valid reasons to worry. I think suggesting counseling is a little over the top personally.

You might think about getting door alarms for your ex (easy to install and remove). As a mom of a kid who has escaped a couple of times I highly recommend them!