I have been seeing a homebirth CNM for this pregnancy, I am 22 weeks now. She is friendly and seems to have a love for birth and midwifery. She is very popular and came highly recommended. She is the closest to me, her house is about a 30 minute drive from mine. FWIW (not too much) she is also covered by my insurance. Now for the negatives, she is very very busy (I hear she has NINE women due in September with me) and she practices alone. She doesn't seem to remember anything about me from one appointment to the next. Our appointments are short and impersonal in her office. And here is the big one, for me, she offered to break my water at 38 weeks. The reasoning behind this is that I have had two very fast births and I never realize that I am in labor until I am pushing, my dh is always the one to say we need to call the midwife and I am always the one to tell him he's being ridiculous and my dh will not be around for this birth, also so far my children have been born 1-3 weeks before my due date. I would not consider allowing her to break my water at 38 weeks and I feel that it would be irresponsible for her to do. After hearing (and this is just hearsay, she has never told me this) that she has 9 women due in my month I think that has something to do with it too.
I have spoken with another midwife, I like her a lot. She is really laid back and I think she is a much better fit for me. She does work with another midwife who I have not met yet, I hear great things about her but obviously what I hear from other people doesn't mean a whole lot. My only real issue with her is that she lives a little over an hour away and the other MW she works with is even farther, though not much, probably just about an hour and a half or a little less. Given my history, I feel like I would like someone closer.
It sort of feels, to me, like I am probably choosing between a midwife I don't particularly like who would probably arrive in time and a midwife that I do like a lot that would probably not arrive in time. And then again, I think, it is very possible that neither would arrive in time because it probably wouldn't occur to me to even call until it was too late, so what does it matter?
For reference, my last birth I had just gotten home from the grocery store an hour away and was making lunch when my dh told me I needed to call the midwife. I thought it was ridiculous because I was barely having contractions and I had been having contractions like this (or more regular and "labor like") for weeks. I called because he really wanted me to but I told her just to swing by when it was convenient. She came right away and I told her to check me and go home and I was 9cm. Baby was born very soon after. My second birth I woke up feeling a little bit sick and once again dh was insistant that we call the MW, baby was born less than 2 hours from the time I woke up feeling sick. #3 was a little longer, but I was pushing by the time my MW arrived and I had been really irritated with my dh for calling her when he did about 45 minutes earlier. Somehow he just "knows" and somehow I just have no idea.
I know this is really long but I am really not sure which way I should go.
I have spoken with another midwife, I like her a lot. She is really laid back and I think she is a much better fit for me. She does work with another midwife who I have not met yet, I hear great things about her but obviously what I hear from other people doesn't mean a whole lot. My only real issue with her is that she lives a little over an hour away and the other MW she works with is even farther, though not much, probably just about an hour and a half or a little less. Given my history, I feel like I would like someone closer.
It sort of feels, to me, like I am probably choosing between a midwife I don't particularly like who would probably arrive in time and a midwife that I do like a lot that would probably not arrive in time. And then again, I think, it is very possible that neither would arrive in time because it probably wouldn't occur to me to even call until it was too late, so what does it matter?
For reference, my last birth I had just gotten home from the grocery store an hour away and was making lunch when my dh told me I needed to call the midwife. I thought it was ridiculous because I was barely having contractions and I had been having contractions like this (or more regular and "labor like") for weeks. I called because he really wanted me to but I told her just to swing by when it was convenient. She came right away and I told her to check me and go home and I was 9cm. Baby was born very soon after. My second birth I woke up feeling a little bit sick and once again dh was insistant that we call the MW, baby was born less than 2 hours from the time I woke up feeling sick. #3 was a little longer, but I was pushing by the time my MW arrived and I had been really irritated with my dh for calling her when he did about 45 minutes earlier. Somehow he just "knows" and somehow I just have no idea.
I know this is really long but I am really not sure which way I should go.
