I decided to join an online dating site! But what do I write about myself?

[samy23]

I really just want to put myself "out there", give myself the opportunity to meet someone. I just want to feel like I tried, yk? I'm not really expecting to meet anyone. I've been going on the site everyday this week, replying to every message I've been sent, and also looking up people and initiating the messages myself....can't say Im not trying haha

I wondered if anyone else here has used these sites, and what your experiences of it had been?

Also, what types of things did you put on your profile? Ofcourse I've put that I'm a single mom, and student etc...but what else do I write?

I know people get a lot more responses if they have a picture on their profile, but I refuse to put one on there. Mainly because I worry someone I know irl might see it and think im desperate or laugh at me for joining an online dating site yk? I don't feel embarrassed about, I know I'm not desperate....I'm just giving it a chance. However I don't want people I know talking about me behind my back if they see me on there.

[Chantelle691]

I don't think people judge people who use online dating sites the way they used to. I think it's a lot more commonplace now than it was.

I do think you'll get a lot more interest if you put a picture up.

I've got profiles up on PlentyofFish and okcupid, but check them rarely, lol. I think they can be good. I talk about my friends and my interests, things I like to do, and what I'm looking for.

Good luck!

[Vancouver Mommy]

OK, I'm not a single parent, but I did meet my husband on an online dating site. My advice would be to look deep. Honest information about your core beliefs and values will be more effective in finding a mate who you will be compatible with. Current interests, physical attributes, less so. Think about where you want to be in five, ten, 30 years.

[lindalu]

I saw an episode of "What I Hate About Me" recently in which someone was helped to post an online profile (I think that was the show). I might have it Tivo'd - could check and see what pointers were given.

I also met my husband on an online site. Hasn't worked so well for us.....
We are still together but really struggling. We have much better chemistry emailing than we do in person. I think we should stick to writing to make it work! I have a t-shirt that reads "I'm sure you're quite charming over the internet ." My H hates when I wear it -usually when I am especially mad at him.

I was like you - did not post a picture because I did not want someone writing me just because they liked how I look. I would send a pic to someone after I was more comfortable with them. I think meeting online can be a great resource - but it can also accelerate a relationship between two people that might not be too compatible. Are the people on your site local so that you could meet in person fairly soon?

[samy23]

Thanks for the suggestions, I have added more to my profile now and am happy with it.

Originally Posted by lindalu

Are the people on your site local so that you could meet in person fairly soon?

The ones I have been talking to in messages yes, because I did a search or people who live within a few miles of my area.

I'm not sure how it's supposed to "go"....like we have been messaging, some have already asked for my phone number and suggested meeting up. How long do you chat online before you're ready to chat on the phone? and how long then before you actually meet up?

Part of me wants to go really REALLY slowly, because I feel shy and awkward, but the other part of me wants to meet them ASAP, so I know whether or not there's any chemistry....so I won't be wasting my time talking to someone for ages who when we meet will be a "no". yk?

[lindalu]

If you find an email interesting enough - then I would talk on the phone. If that goes ok, yes, I would meet up - if at least for coffee.

Getting involved online without meeting in person, I feel, can lead to unrealistic expectations or erroneous impressions. I am sure there are exceptions.

Just because you meet someone in person doesn't mean you have to "move fast". Perhaps meet during a lunch break or sometime that mandates a brief encounter - then you can take it from there.

Above all else, be careful! If something makes you uncomfortable, listen to your gut.

[paakbaak]

[surrogate]

After my ex left I signed up on a couple online dating sites. The only emails I have gotten were from people who wanted sexual relationships right off the bat...UGH. I had one guy tell me we needed to see if we were sexually compatable before anything else...

Other than that, noone has talked to me. I don't get it. I am tall...blonde...and fat. *sigh* I guess that is why. I am 5'10 and 200lbs...why does weight deter everyone? I am so fun to be around and a great person with a big heart.

I wish you luck and hope you have lots of men fighting all over you

[samy23]

Originally Posted by surrogate

After my ex left I signed up on a couple online dating sites. The only emails I have gotten were from people who wanted sexual relationships right off the bat...UGH. I had one guy tell me we needed to see if we were sexually compatable before anything else...

Other than that, noone has talked to me. I don't get it. I am tall...blonde...and fat. *sigh* I guess that is why. I am 5'10 and 200lbs...why does weight deter everyone? I am so fun to be around and a great person with a big heart.

I wish you luck and hope you have lots of men fighting all over you

LOL I have had a lot of replies from mostly nice sounding guys, a couple were hassling me about meeting up already when I'm not ready yet...Im thinking that's because they are after sex.

Apart from them the others have been fine. There are 3 in particular I'm talking to a lot through messages on the site, and 1 of them a lot more than the others.

I'm overweight too, but I haven't posted a picture yet because I don't have scanner, webcam of cell phone with the photo feature. A few guys did say hello but refused to talk further unless I put a pic up, which was fine by me...seems kind of shallow to only chat if there's a pic, and plus a pic can be a fake one anyway. I have said Im a bit overweight on my profile page though, a couple guys have asked by how much, like my dress size...and I don't have a problem with those questions, especially when we had already been talking a while.

In a way im finding it hard though because when you have people talking to you asking questions and such, it makes you evaluate yourself and I tend to focus on bad parts then. I make myself insecure I guess lol

[surrogate]

I am the same way! And I HATE when all they seem concerned about is the weight factor...ugh it is so frustrating. Your topic inspired me to revamp my profile though, and 3 seemingly nice guys messaged me. I have been talking to one all day and he seems nice.

If the first question a guy asks me is what is my dress size I wouldn't even bother talking to him anymore...i mean I want someone to like me for me not what size pants I wear...

[Phoenix~Mama]

Originally Posted by surrogate

I am the same way! And I HATE when all they seem concerned about is the weight factor...ugh it is so frustrating. Your topic inspired me to revamp my profile though, and 3 seemingly nice guys messaged me. I have been talking to one all day and he seems nice.

If the first question a guy asks me is what is my dress size I wouldn't even bother talking to him anymore...i mean I want someone to like me for me not what size pants I wear...

I totally agree with this. Not dating currently. lol But I have dabbled in dating sites in my past... and the dress size or bra size question... immediate turn off and gets that person deleted and blocked. ick!

[samy23]

How long do you chat online before chatting on the phone or meeting up? I'm not even sure I want to meet up with anyone yet, I'm just happy chatting online as friends for right now. How do you decide when you want things to go further by meeting? I'm kind of stuck at that point right now, maybe it means Im not sure if I'm ready for a relationship quite yet...or im just too nervous.

[Rosehip]

Originally Posted by samy23

How long do you chat online before chatting on the phone or meeting up? I'm not even sure I want to meet up with anyone yet, I'm just happy chatting online as friends for right now. How do you decide when you want things to go further by meeting? I'm kind of stuck at that point right now, maybe it means Im not sure if I'm ready for a relationship quite yet...or im just too nervous.

ASAP. I'm not interested in cultivating a pen pal relationship. I'll swap a few brief messages, and have a phone conversation, but then it's meet in person or let it fizzle.

[Fuamami]

Originally Posted by surrogate

After my ex left I signed up on a couple online dating sites. The only emails I have gotten were from people who wanted sexual relationships right off the bat...UGH. I had one guy tell me we needed to see if we were sexually compatable before anything else...

Other than that, noone has talked to me. I don't get it. I am tall...blonde...and fat. *sigh* I guess that is why. I am 5'10 and 200lbs...why does weight deter everyone? I am so fun to be around and a great person with a big heart.

I wish you luck and hope you have lots of men fighting all over you

I just stumbled in and read this, and wanted to say that it might be worth tweaking your profile, because I would be surprised that it was because of your weight. My sister, who is 6'0" and weighs 250 lbs., meets people on an online dating site all the time, and goes out with a fair number of them. And a good friend of mine who is also very curvy (sorry, don't know her exact dimensions)is constantly going on dates with guys from one, and has met her last 2 boyfriends online. AND, another good friend of mine, who is also significantly overweight, met her dh on one! So maybe it's something else!