Originally Posted by mickerbaby
I would also be willing to give up one night a week, maybe on Wed since STBX says that he can't go 6-7 days without seeing the kids.
want to go 6-7 days without seeing their kids? Here, it's the minimum
that NCPs get one day with the kids every week, after school. That's separate from weekend parenting time. The idea is that it's better
for kids when both parents have some responsibility for school work and routines. My ex does 2
weekdays every week and so did my husband, when he was his son's NCP and his ex-wife lived here.
It's the most normal thing in the world to assume your ex won't handle things "right" with the kids. After all, the fact that you're divorcing indicates the two of you aren't seeing eye-to-eye and valuing each other like you once did. But:
1- His interaction with the kids will necessarily change, the more he cares for them without you around
. Unless he's actually so
irresponsible that he'd tell them, "Homework, schmomework. Let's go surfing!", you should give him the opportunity
to become a full-service parent, rather than claiming all the real responsibilities as your territory and relegating him to being the fun, weekend guy.
2- An important part of successful "co-parenting" (as opposed to endless feuding, tension and complaining about your ex - which would certainly affect your kids) is accepting that you're not going to have the same control over how your kids are raised that you would, in an intact family. Your ex is not
going to handle everything the way you think he should, nor are you
going to do everything to his
liking. But kids are generally able to adjust to different routines and expectations at each parent's house... and it's usually best for them when both parents parent
them, rather than one parent being treated as incompetent because he doesn't do everything the same way the other parent does.