3yo tantrums scaring baby

[srs]

I see tantrums as a normal, healthy part of being three years old, but my DD is scaring her younger brother with the volume and intensity of her yelling/crying/etc. She starts yelling, he freaks out and starts crying, and then it's just a disaster with both kids crying and upset. Any suggestions or advice for things I can tell my DD? Or is a "this too shall pass"?

I feel like I can either take the baby somewhere else in the house, and then not be there for my DD (this is usually what happens), or I can have everyone together with two screaming kids. I've been going the "ignore the tantrum and it will pass" route, because any intervention on my part makes my DD angrier, but it doesn't quite feel like the right thing to do (then again, three years old is upending a lot of things in general).

I think it's kind of interesting that the baby is noticeably upset when the 3yo is crying, but the 3yo could care less when the baby is crying.

[wrappedupmama]

I know it's not the prefect answer, but like you when that happens in my house (baby jumping and screaming with each of my DD's shrilling tantrum screams) I leave the room. I'm only one person and DD has had several years of loving reassurance when she is scared, upset. The new baby is still learning about what happens when he needs me. I try to meet the most urgent need first. And an upset baby trumps an upset preschooler. Which is unfortunate because they are still small and needy, but you can only do so much at once you know! You are right, the phase will pass before you know it though.

[ellairiesmom]

[srs]

Glad to know that I'm not the only one leaving the room. It does help that my DD has never wanted me near or to touch her at all when she's tantruming, but I still feel a bit guilty just leaving. Although if I didn't have the baby, that's honestly what I would probably do anyway. There's only so much screaming I can take anyway, and the more I'm around the longer it goes on.

[lindsayjean]

Oh man, this happens to us too!! I kind of alternate I guess. I will let my 3 yr old know that is scares her baby brother when she screams so loud and ask her what I can do to help her. She usually just needs a kleenex (it's her 'thing' that makes her stop screaming and feel better- she wipes her tears), so I will tend to her first and then the babe. But typically I can hold the babe while I am talking to the 3 yr old about what she needs and then I can set the baby down to help her get when she needs and then everyone is back to happy(ish) usually.

It's not easy juggling two!!!