How do you deal with your elementary schooler's homework?

[ProtoLawyer]

I'm wondering if there is a consensus here...my husband and I tend to disagree about how to handle homework.

[Drummer's Wife]

My kids are in a Montessori program which means when they do have homework, it's very little (like, summarize whatever you have been reading).

I'm not sure how I would handle frequent or lengthy homework assignments. Maybe encourage them to do it at a certain time of the afternoon/evening like while I'm making dinner and am available if they have any questions?

ETA: I voted the first option.

[velochic]

I didn't vote because I didn't really like the one option that remotely applied to us. I just make sure it's done and don't help, but not because I'm not willing (i.e. because I "already went to second grade"). I don't help because her homework is in a language I don't know, so she's on her own with it. The one topic I could help much with, math, she's a cracker jack at, so doesn't need help. I will look over it if she asks me to, which she does sometimes. Usually not, though.

[kate42]

I make sure that it's done and help if I am asked.

[zinemama]

Homework is optional in 1st and second grade, we opt out. Third grade needed some assistance getting into the groove of being responsible for doing it.

Now, in 4th grade, we help if asked and sometimes remind him to get started, but don't check it.

[SoCaliMommy]

i voted : I sit at the table/desk with my kids and we do the homework together.

My daughter's homework has "been modified to fit her needs" She is in 1st grade but according to a educational evaluation in math she's at a kindergarten 9month level and anything above it would be very difficult for her. Yet she is expected to complete grade level math for homework. The other night it took 10mins to do like 8 math problems.

Homework is a major battle in our house thankfully the school year is almost over.

[Linda on the move]

My kids are older. They are responsible for it themselves. I'll help as much as needed (which is sometimes sitting next to them reading a book for "moral support") but it's really up to them.

When my now 12 year old first started school at age 10, I helped her with every single thing because the transition from homeschooling was bumpy, but she's gone past needing that.

I don't check homework unless asked. I'm very happy to run through it all, but for our family, me doing that all the time would be pushing a very perfectionist agenda on the kids.

I think that what is appropriate for parents really varies with the child and the kind of work that is assigned. In a perfect world, I think that all kids would be able to do their homework independantly in a short amount of time. I think it *should* be a few things to do independently to reinforce what they are learning at school. Sadly, that's just not reality for many, many children.

[annethcz]

I wasn't really sure how to vote, because it depends. There's a big difference between a 1st grader and a 4th grader. Younger kids usually need more help in reading and understanding the homework, whereas older kids should be able to do the work more independently.

Also, my feeling about the homework depends on WHAT the homework is. I care about my kids' math assignments (which they bring home 1-2 times/week)- I feel that it's important for them to learn those skills so that they can build on them. The math assignments are generally just a few relevant problems, not a lot of busywork. OTOH, this year my 3rd graders had weekly vocab assignments that I thought were pretty much pointless, and basically busywork. To be honest, since I didn't see the gain in doing the work, I didn't push my kids to get it done; I left it up to them.

In general, I'm the kind of parent who will help with homework when requested, I will occasionally check homework, but mostly I leave it up to the kids.

[Momily]

My 5th grader takes 100% of responsibility for his homework. Some days I ask him if it's done, most days I don't. He usually does it during a break in afterschool activities and it's done before he walks in the house (or so he says). His teacher knows I'm not involved at all, and that if she told me it was a problem I'd get involved, but she insists it's not a problem. I know he's lost recess once or twice because it wasn't done, but she tells me that every kid has encountered that problem so I don't see it as enough.

We didn't start there. In 1st we sat together and I helped him, 2nd and 3rd I was around and availabel to help. 4th he was more on his own (like this year) but I checked it every night. He proved he didn't need that so we're where we are now.

Next year is middle school, and I hear it's a huge jump in Homework. I imagine I'll come back in the picture in some way. We'll see.

[MJB]

My 1st grader gets a few pages of math homework every Friday which are due the following Wednesday. I remind him of it daily but don't force it; he almost always waits until Tuesday to do it. I've told him if he chooses not to do it, I'm not going to make him, but he'll have to explain to his teacher why he chose not to do it. He's always done it. I check it when he's done and circle anything he needs to fix; he doesn't really need help but sometimes gets things wrong or illegible in a hurry.

He does have a big end of the year report he's been working on for the past month and I help with that-- mostly with finding information online, and watching that he writes at least halfway legibly.

[cedoreilly]

I have two in first grade. With my DS1, I just make sure he has a place to do it and check in while he is doing it to make sure he is stay on task. With my DD, I do sit right next to her by her request. Particularly with the math, I find I do have to reteach her concepts so she can do it but I will not outwardly do it for her. Also at times, I will modify the homework for her so she can do it if she is having a really hard time (her teacher is OK with this and I do note how we modified it on the paper. Like tonight I noted she used pennies to figure out some of her math problems).

[Llyra]

DD1 is in kindergarten, but gets about ten minutes of homework four days a week. It's usually a math activity and a writing prompt. (DD1 is reading and writing independently, which I think is uncommon for kindergarten.) I set a certain time when it gets done, and provide the supplies and a quiet place to work. My main job is getting her siblings out of the way, actually. When it's done, I glance at it to make sure it's done, because the school requires me to sign a weekly tracking sheet. If I see something glaringly incorrect, I'll point it out to her, but I don't go through it in a detailed way to check it. I assume that's the teacher's job. I do keep in frequent contact with the teacher, so that if there is a problem, she has plenty of opportunities to mention it to me.

DD1 is relatively happy to do her homework, though, and generally conscientious, and doing well overall in school. I think if I had a child who was struggling, I might be more hands-on.

[chiromommy]

I have 2nd and 4th graders. They both come home from school, get a snack, and sit down to do their homework. They both do it without protesting and without coaxing or assistance from me. It's just always been the routine... If they need help one of us is available, but it is rare that they ask.

[columbusmomma]

My DS is in 2nd grade. I do sit down with him and we work through the homework(or DH does)together. However, he doesn't need my help for everything so some of the work is more independent and I just check through it.

[LightToast]

I voted "The kids get homework but whether they do it or not is up to them."

My ds is in Kindergarten and has very little interest in completing the worksheets that are sent home. He will wait until the last possible moment to do them and often turns them in late. I feel it's wrong to be very pushy about getting the work done because he gets very upset about being forced to do the work. I feel that mandatory homework at the Kindergarten level is developmentally inappropriate and counterproductive when the child is not enjoying doing the work. So, right now, I don't push for him to get it done.

I'm really not sure what I'm going to do next year for 1st grade because I'm pretty sure the students are assigned nightly homework. I don't recall getting homework until about 3rd grade back in the 80s. Why is there such a push for mandatory homework nowadays? DS doesn't have nightly homework in Kindergarten but generally when it is assigned (usually a worksheet or two) he is repulsed by it. I must note that the work, when he does it, takes him very little time.

Oh, and one more thing, he will often play school while at home and makes his own personally created worksheets. He has no objection to working on his home made worksheets!

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I voted "they do it, I help if needed..." Which sort of captures some of it, but not really all. Both of my kids (grades 1 and 4) have homework every night. For DS (4th grade) its a lot and a struggle. For DD (1st grade) its not nearly as hard all the way around. Homework is not optional either for the school or in our family, so what I really do is the following:

* Make sure the routine for afternoons is really clear: homework first, playtime or activities afterwards.
* Get both kids started (mostly "Hey guys, its homework time", but can be more of a push sometimes
* Be "around" to encourage/help but not sitting with them and not doing the work for them. DD has to read aloud each day, so I listen to that. I give spelling word practice tests.
* Check to make sure its all done. I don't check answers (unless asked), but I am expected to check to make sure it is complete and then I sign off on the homework sheet.

[beanma]

I voted sit with them and do it together, but really I don't do any actual work for her. Dd1 is in 3rd grade and has much more homework than last year, but still it's not that much. She's not too fond of it, though, and has trouble staying on task, so we usually sit with her to keep her focused rather than to do the work for her. If she doesn't understand something we will explain and if she gets a math problem wrong (say adds instead of subtracts) we might remind her to be sure to look at the operation sign.

My view is that homework is a chance for us to help her understand any concepts she didn't get during school. It's just to reinforce and if mom and dad explaining and pointing out errors helps achieve that goal (dd1 understanding the material) then I'm all about it.

[One_Girl]

When my dd had homework I made sure she did it but I didn't correct her. Homework is suppossed to be skill practice and teachers need the information from the work to assess whether students are able to do the work independently and are able to move on from that subject or not. In my dd's school homework only came home if the kids hadn't finished the work at school so I think it would have been more inacurate to guide her through something that she needs to have mastered before moving on to another skill. I don't want to assign independent work on that skill the next day to make sure my dd gets the education she needs, that is why she had homework in the first place.

[griffin2004]

My DD is in 1st grade. She gets a couple of pages of homework M-Th. She gets it finished during after-school care time. I check in with her to make sure it's done, but she doesn't generally ask me for help with it.

She gets 14 spelling words on M and is tested on Friday. We run through the list twice per night.

DD's teacher wants the students to read 20-30 minutes most nights. She reads to me so I can help with the harder words.

DD is behind in her math, so we do a few minutes most nights. I sit with her while she does the work, answer questions as needed, and check her work.

That's our homework regimen. I'm SO looking forward to summer!!

[Alyantavid]

My kid's in 2nd grade and rarely needs help. He has a book to read (2nd grade level) everyday and he usually reads on the ride home. It takes him all of 5 minutes to read. When he does have math or something else, he sits at the table while I'm cooking dinner and does it. I look it over when he's done and make sure he's done it right, he skims the directions so he doesn't always do what they're asking for.