My son is the target of some bullying at school. We are German, our children attend an international school in China. The child in question is my oldest son K, 12y old and in 6th grade. The "bullies" are mainly German-speaking but meanwhile some other groups seem to have jumped on the wagon.
From what I know it started like this: my son was hanging out with his friend (J) from school in our housing compound. J tried to talk him into giving him money to buy some alcoholic beverage (alco-pop style). My son refused to do so and told me about the incident some days later.
After thinking back and forth I decided to let the friend's mom know what happened. I really want to emphasize here that I didn't do this to "badmouth" the boy or to show the mother what a "bad kid" she has. (I just felt that if it were the other way round I would like to know.) There were no unfriendly words or feelings between us. Obviously, I wasn't present when J's mother brought the topic up with her son but I know that he didn't get in "trouble" for it - it was more a general discussion at the dinnertable.
Still, J concluded that K had been a "tattle-tale" and claimed that he had gotten into serious trouble at home. He recruited a few friends who seem to be cornering my son at school ("You know, nobody here likes you.") and have established what they call the "Anti-K-Club". Another friend (who used to come over a lot and even had a few sleep-overs with my son) from our housing compound doesn't sit on the bus with him anymore. My son avoids his classmates in the canteen and on the soccer field, so he usually spends his lunchbreak at the library. In other words: my son is pretty isolated.
In the meantime, I alerted his homeroom teacher. She obviously told the other 6th grade homeroom teachers about the situation. Again, it seems to make matters worse. Just the general mentioning of the concept of relationship / friendship was enough to get him another round of "tattle-tale".
It looks like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of thing. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?
From what I know it started like this: my son was hanging out with his friend (J) from school in our housing compound. J tried to talk him into giving him money to buy some alcoholic beverage (alco-pop style). My son refused to do so and told me about the incident some days later.
After thinking back and forth I decided to let the friend's mom know what happened. I really want to emphasize here that I didn't do this to "badmouth" the boy or to show the mother what a "bad kid" she has. (I just felt that if it were the other way round I would like to know.) There were no unfriendly words or feelings between us. Obviously, I wasn't present when J's mother brought the topic up with her son but I know that he didn't get in "trouble" for it - it was more a general discussion at the dinnertable.
Still, J concluded that K had been a "tattle-tale" and claimed that he had gotten into serious trouble at home. He recruited a few friends who seem to be cornering my son at school ("You know, nobody here likes you.") and have established what they call the "Anti-K-Club". Another friend (who used to come over a lot and even had a few sleep-overs with my son) from our housing compound doesn't sit on the bus with him anymore. My son avoids his classmates in the canteen and on the soccer field, so he usually spends his lunchbreak at the library. In other words: my son is pretty isolated.
In the meantime, I alerted his homeroom teacher. She obviously told the other 6th grade homeroom teachers about the situation. Again, it seems to make matters worse. Just the general mentioning of the concept of relationship / friendship was enough to get him another round of "tattle-tale".
It looks like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of thing. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?
