Overdue and scared - Page 2

[47chromosomes]

Ah. I hope you can find comfort in the things others have shared.

I would also use the original due date rather than the one given by the ultrasound. Especially if your cycles are regular and of average length.

Also, I wanted to share that with my first pregnancy, I was checked on a Friday morning and my cervix was "ripening" a little bit, but not dialated at all, and by Sunday afternoon I was holding my baby boy who arrived after a completely natural birth. Labor was just 12 hours--and I say just, because only the last 4 or so seemed like what I expected labor to be. Our bodies can do a lot of work in a short time, and it doesn't necessarily feel harder.

[P.J.]

Again, thank you so much to all who replied. I feel so honored and held in your support. It has helped tremendously in easing my mind and making these last days more peaceful, as well they should be!

I've learned a lot from this experience. Namely how outdated the current system and understanding is. I understand why they need to have some sort of standard time period, but it can really be harmful, and lead to unnecessary hospital inductions and all the consequences of that, when docs/ MWs stick (or are forced to stick) so firmly to these somewhat arbitrary dates!

I feel blessed that my MW is so relaxed. We see her today and will get a clearer picture of what the "cut off" has to be, legally speaking....it may be, as one person shared, that I just have to go to the hospital rather than home birth after a certain date (and I would certainly refuse induction unless there was a medically valid reason). It's not the hospital that bothers me, but that our MW won't be able to be the one there with us (as she doesn't work for the hospital). But I have to just trust that good people will be there that day, and again this hospital has a wonderful reputation and supposedly really good people (actually my MW worked there for many years!).

We had an ultrasound yesterday and it all looks fine. The doc was very relaxed and totally accepted the idea that the 17th should be the 'real' due date and we should consider that when making decisions. She only suggested that we find a date beyond which we cancel the homebirth and go to the hospital, as the risks increase after a certain point.....again need to discuss with MW but as far as I know, as long as it all looks ok on ultrasound there aren't necessarily higher risks. I think the only "risk" is the MW's liability and at some point I have to be "risked out" of a home birth with her.
Oh, and I will certainly refuse any more internal checks until labor begins!

I'll give another update after we see the MW today. In a way, I don't like the pressure of getting a cut-off date, but in another way it might ease my mind to know concretely that this whole thing is time-limited.

[JessicaS]

In Germany a lot of midwives work for hospitals. So you might not have YOUR midwife but still have a midwife.

My sister had a VBAC in Germany in a hospital with a midwife

[SublimeBirthGirl]

41 +1 is *average*. it's really what due dates should be based on. My first was born at 41 +4 and I didn't dilate much at all until I was in actual labor. How dilated you are means nothing at all. Try to relax - your body knows what to do.

[P.J.]

Just wanted to give an update. I had the baby, a beautiful boy called Max. Labor was long and painful, and actually I didn't open at all! After 10 hours at home, the contractions had basically stopped, I was not dilated at all, and there had been green meconium in the water that was leaking from the beginning, so the midwife recommended we transfer to the hospital. Things picked up a little, but not much, so I got an application of gel to bring on contractions. It worked, and the contractions were very strong and painful! Still, after a total of around 24 hours, I was not dilated at all. I was also getting exhausted, and the pain became unbearable. Had I been making progress I would've been able to manage the pain, but as it was I was getting discouraged. Eventually I got an epidural, just so I could sleep a few hours and try again. By this time it was the next morning, about 30 hours total. Eventually I did dilate to 7 cm, but the baby's head was not fully engaged, and lying in the wrong direction. Then his heart rate started dropping significantly during contractions, so we decided it was time for a cesarean. By then, quite frankly, I was relieved and ready to have this story finished, so it wasn't as difficult a decision as I would've imagined.
As I mentioned, the hospital we went to is certified Baby-Friendly, and they put my baby right on me, where he remained for a long time. The first week after the operation was painful, but I'm healing well and have very little discomfort by now. In addition to everything else, the placenta stuck and I lost a lot of blood because of that. That led to my milk coming in slowly, and it took almost 2 weeks until I could provide enough, so we had to supplement at first. It's interesting to think that even if we had been able to have the home birth we'd wanted, I still would've ended up in the hospital due to the placenta sticking. (I knew this was a risk due to past abortions).

Anyway, it has not been an easy arrival and adjustment for us, but it gets easier every day. I also have good support for healing the shock, disappointment and trauma of the birth.
Thank you all once again for responding to my original post. I hope my story doesn't scare or discourage anyone, I just felt it would be good to share it.

[AutumnAir]

Congratulations on the birth of your little boy!

Sorry the birth didn't work out the way you had hoped, but it sounds like you were well looked after and that you have plenty of support to help you through the PP time. You just never know with birth - the only thing you can do is make the best decisions possible at the time, which you obviously did.

[mizznicole]

When I was reading your story I kept thinking about mine. Do you know what the position of your baby was? Poor positioning leads to long, painful labors. Mine also ended in a cesarean. He was also 10 days late. When that head doesn't hit the right parts, the labor process is just plain difficult.

God's blessings on your new family!

[Kidzaplenty]

Congratulations!

[RedOakMomma]

Congrats on your baby!

[P.J.]

Originally Posted by mizznicole

When I was reading your story I kept thinking about mine. Do you know what the position of your baby was? Poor positioning leads to long, painful labors. Mine also ended in a cesarean. He was also 10 days late. When that head doesn't hit the right parts, the labor process is just plain difficult.

God's blessings on your new family!

Thanks! His head was sideways, meaning instead of front-to-back it was side-to-side (or the other way around, not sure which way it's supposed to go), if that makes sense. It therefore wouldn't have fit or been able to descend down the birth canal.

[mizznicole]

Ah-hah. I just met another lady with an asynclitic birth ending in cesarean after a long, painful labor. So tough! Mine was OP.

[Mamacitac]

Congrats!!