Rocking chair blues - CIO - too early for toddler bed??

[rachie]

Dd's current night/nap time routine involves a LOT of rocking (unless she's super tired and just goes out right away) - but some nights she's determined to keep her little eyes open and it takes FOR-EV-ER to rock her to sleep. I'm 28 weeks pregnant now and our rocking chair is very uncomfortable for me. My back is just killing me as well as my knees, etc... I just physically can't rock her for THAT long (we're talking sometimes over an hour!!!) anymore. But then I don't know what else to do - she's just crushed if I lay her down before she's "ready" (nearly or totally asleep). And this child is NOT the type to just cry for a few minutes then give up and sleep - she'll wail on and on and I just can't do that to her. Actually - I just DID!!! She's been grumpy all morning (getting over ear infection/cough) and has been throwing herself down and just crying about everything. I know she needs a nap (even this early) because she's yawning and was willing to rock with me for awhile - but to no avail - she would NOT give in to the sleep. I finally put her down in her crib and of course she's so upset. And I'm upset. I had to do something though because we have tile floors and she will just throw herself down on them and knock her head. It's "safer" in the crib (if she must throw a fit) - but of course I was trying to just get her to go to sleep with me rocking her and soft music playing but I'm in such pain I just couldn't do it anymore - the entire CD had played and she was still wide awake - yawning!

Many night-times are like this too. Often I have my dh switch with me rocking her for sometimes around an hour or so. But he's on a trip for his job right now so it's just me and I can't do it on my own. Plus I don't know what on Earth I'm going to do when the baby is born and she still wants to be rocked for that duration of time and I have a newborn to nurse and care for.

I've probably been on here before regarding this subject - but I'm getting more desperate to figure out a better nighttime routine! Help!

[akind1]

Does anything else work? like laying her in your bed and laying next to her, patting her back? (this would be most comfortable for both of you, I'd think)

I agree, crib is safer than tile for tantrums, but I'd still want to watch, since she is what, 18 months? and might be able to try to crawl out of it or something.

do you have another comfy chair, even if it doesn't rock, you can cuddle her in? and rub or pat her back or head? If she needs the motion I can't think of another option, unless buying a comfy rocker recliner is a possibility for you.

[rachie]

rocker

Originally Posted by akind1

Does anything else work? like laying her in your bed and laying next to her, patting her back? (this would be most comfortable for both of you, I'd think)

I agree, crib is safer than tile for tantrums, but I'd still want to watch, since she is what, 18 months? and might be able to try to crawl out of it or something.

do you have another comfy chair, even if it doesn't rock, you can cuddle her in? and rub or pat her back or head? If she needs the motion I can't think of another option, unless buying a comfy rocker recliner is a possibility for you.

The whole reason we do it this way is because at 8 months old she no longer would sleep in the bed with me - she wouldn't settle - would just squirm or crawl all over me and whine. She did sleep in my bed last week once but she was VERY sick - she's doing better now and I know she wouldn't settle down. I'm going to keep my eyes open for a rocker on Criagslist or something. But even with a more comfortable chair I still don't know how we'll do this. I do think the motion helps - but more than that it's that we are in her room with the door shut, no distractions from her big brother or other noises or lights, etc... nothing and nobody going on to interest her except mama (or daddy) and her.

We do bath, pjs, brush teeth, songs, baby doll, blanket, rock to sleep. I am actually wondering about converting her crib to the toddler setting (she's almost 20 months) and rocking for a couple songs then laying her in the bed and sitting or laying down with her for a few minutes - then instead of just putting her down by herself someone will be in there "with her" and then will just go out - does that make sense?? Of course she might try to get out and that's a whole other issue but I'm for sure thinking of trying it - and NOW before baby comes and she has a whole new transition to deal with.

[Louisep]

Do you think with a bit of persistence she would eventually get used to a new way to fall asleep? I used to have to bounce my DS in an ergo and never thought I'd get him to fall asleep laying down but we managed it without any huge trouble. We just both lay either side of him, keep cuddling and sort of rocking him in our arms laying down (if you can imagine how to do this). It took awhile to get him to sleep the first few times but eventually it worked. We co-sleep so I suppose this might not be a good option for you. Can you transition her into the crib once asleep? Or how about putting a twin mattress on the floor for her?

Not sure this is useful but thought I'd bump your post up again, it must be very hard being pregnant and doing this!

[rachie]

sleep

Originally Posted by Louisep

Do you think with a bit of persistence she would eventually get used to a new way to fall asleep? I used to have to bounce my DS in an ergo and never thought I'd get him to fall asleep laying down but we managed it without any huge trouble. We just both lay either side of him, keep cuddling and sort of rocking him in our arms laying down (if you can imagine how to do this). It took awhile to get him to sleep the first few times but eventually it worked. We co-sleep so I suppose this might not be a good option for you. Can you transition her into the crib once asleep? Or how about putting a twin mattress on the floor for her?

Thanks . I think she is getting used to me rubbing her back and sitting next to her bed - if not for such a short term fix I'd put a twin mattress next her bed so I could lay there while she falls sleep - except that she wants a PART of me ON her (like rubbing her back, letting her rest her head on my arm, etc.). Last night I think she kept waking because she had a diaper rash and I think peeing made it sting and so she was upset about that. I'm so glad she is old enough to grab her diaper and say "poo-poo" - then I figured it was bothering her so I changed her wet diaper - but by then she was already upset and I was having those ligament pains so dh had to come to both our rescue. I've been working really hard today to make sure her rash is as cleared up as can be so it doesn't bother her tonight . I hope that will help her.

BUT..... she didn't take a nap this morning and just fell asleep at 5:30pm!!! I think this is too early and she'll be up in an hour or two and want to play for a few more hours before bed and be up late or keep waking up all night again. I tried to keep her awake but she was OUT - even through a diaper and clothes change - she wouldn't wake up - she is soooo tired! Hoping she'll stay asleep for the night!!!!

[Jerlin]

I have nothing to add except to tell you that I wish you the best of luck!

[malayasmommy]

I wish I had some wonderful advice, but unfortunately my reason for posting is that your DD sounds EXACTLY like my DD (almost 2.5 years). Mine would not settle w/ us for co-sleeping, and we have an elaborate bedtime routine that includes 20-60 min of rocking. We just transitioned to a toddler bed (she asked for a big girl bed), and last night we were up until 3:30am--no kidding--trying to get her to sleep. She's an incredibly light sleeper, and I think she's disoriented when she wakes up in a new space. I wonder if your DD might also experience that.
Another thing we've wondered is whether the increased daylight hours have made it more difficult for her body to tell her it's time to sleep. We've toyed with the idea of just letting her stay up later and wear herself out more so that she needs less from us to fall asleep. Sometimes that can backfire though, because they end up MORE overtired and wired. Plus, she's always had issues getting to sleep so even though it's been worse lately it's hard to tell if it could be increased daylight hours or just part of who she is. I don't know...
FWIW, I have wondered whether CIO might have been a better option for DD. I hate even THINKING that, but I have several friends who have done CIO. These are not "monster parents" who are cold and unattached--they are loving parents with an incredible bond with their LO. AND they are getting adequate sleep with alone time since their kids do fall asleep, and are therefore better able to be present with their children when they are awake. My DD is almost 2.5 and sometimes I feel like I still have a newborn--I can't help but wonder how much the stress of that impacts my parenting and whether a few tough nights at 8 months might have made for better parenting abilities now. Don't get me wrong--I know full well the reasons for NOT doing CIO and I'm not suggesting I will do it or that I think it's ok--but I can't help but wonder at times.
Anyway, sorry to ramble...just know you are not alone! I will post if I come up with anything helpful. Best of luck to you!!!!

[rachie]

Cio

Ya - I wonder too - my dd has ALWAYS been a light sleeper - from birth and still. The smallest things wake her. My son was a "rock" sleeper - but not dd. And I, too have wondered about CIO options, and by default once in awhile I have no choice (as in I'm an exhausted preggo, it's or 4am and I've been up with her all night and I fall asleep and don't wake to her cries because I'm out).

This sure is a challenging part of parenting this little one!