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Honoring our lost babies and their grieving mamas

post #1 of 51
Thread Starter 
As a mom that has gone through 2 miscarriages I know how very painful it is.
While reading through another thread I became aware that
U-turn
and
Danidama
had lost their little ones.
Please add your thoughts in here or anymore mamas that are suffering through a loss.

Now Pycelan
has lost her little one
and
xtara2003x
and
voicegrrl
and
cparkly
and
stephr k
and
aprilmom
and
carfreemama
and
lilmiss'mama
and
domesticeight
and
Wendlynnn
and
theboysmama
Emeric 8/9/10

****Hopefully there are no more losses but if there happens to be one please pm me so that I can come in and add you and your LO to this thread. I won't be checking in regularly as it is too painful.

Thinking of you.
post #2 of 51
Thanks, theboysmama I've had a rough couple days, and can't believe this happened.. it just doesn't matter how healthy I am or how perfect my first pregnancy was, it can just happen for any reason, I guess. I was doing pretty good mentally, earlier today.. thinking that this wasn't meant to be and my body was doing what needed to be done, etc., but as the day has gone on I've just felt more and more sad. Just Sad, with a capital S. I don't know what to do about it or how to get over it, really. The funny thing to me at this moment is that like I said, I was doing pretty good earlier in my head, but my body was going through a lot of pain; and now my body is feeling almost normal and like myself again, and I have energy (I've been cleaning a lot even though I should be resting, trying not to think too much)- and now my mind and heart are feeling so sad and not too good. Anyway, thanks again.. it's nice to have people to talk to who've been there. I've been with my 4 year old dd all day and listening to Oasis (I lost it on Don't Look Back in Anger earlier ), and whatnot..
post #3 of 51
I am thinking of you mamas...my heart breaks for you.
post #4 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by xtara2003x View Post
I am thinking of you mamas...my heart breaks for you.
Thank you; everything will be okay. We definitely want to have another baby, but I feel like I don't even know if I want to, or can.. I don't want to go through this ever again. Hopefully I'll feel better soon, and will want to try again someday.

Your new baby is due on my dd's birthday. She was born on Jan 22, 2006 - on her due date! I thought we were going to have another January baby.. my edd was January 3. My birthday's Jan 26, and our anniversary is Jan 30, so that would've been sweet.
post #5 of 51
Hugs mamas. Thinking of you.
post #6 of 51
Hugs to both of you. So sorry that you're having to go through this.
post #7 of 51
Thread Starter 
check out the birth loss forum it was soooooooo helpful for me.
post #8 of 51
Sorry for your losses mamas.
post #9 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danidama View Post
but as the day has gone on I've just felt more and more sad. Just Sad, with a capital S. I don't know what to do about it or how to get over it, really. The funny thing to me at this moment is that like I said, I was doing pretty good earlier in my head, but my body was going through a lot of pain; and now my body is feeling almost normal and like myself again, and I have energy (I've been cleaning a lot even though I should be resting, trying not to think too much)- and now my mind and heart are feeling so sad and not too good.
This is totally normal . During the process of actually miscarrying I always felt calm and ok. Then afterwards I sort of slid into a funk. When people stopped asking me if I was ok, that's when it really got bad for me and I when I felt the worst. We all handle it different ways, but I promise it does get easier.
I really liked the way someone described grief and loss as a garment. When you first get it or when it first happens you always wear it. It's there with you all the time. Then as new things happen, you wear it a little less. Then as time goes by, you don't need to pull it out as often. You know it's there and you remember it, but you don't wear it all the time. You get it out from time to time and try it on, but you don't wear it all day.
That's sort of how it is for me.
post #10 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessica_s View Post
This is totally normal . During the process of actually miscarrying I always felt calm and ok. Then afterwards I sort of slid into a funk. When people stopped asking me if I was ok, that's when it really got bad for me and I when I felt the worst. We all handle it different ways, but I promise it does get easier.
I really liked the way someone described grief and loss as a garment. When you first get it or when it first happens you always wear it. It's there with you all the time. Then as new things happen, you wear it a little less. Then as time goes by, you don't need to pull it out as often. You know it's there and you remember it, but you don't wear it all the time. You get it out from time to time and try it on, but you don't wear it all day.
That's sort of how it is for me.

Bingo. All of it. I got the news and I was just "ok" and went home. Sitting on the sofa with my family later I was a waterfall of tears. This lasted for 3 nights until the bleeding started and then I was ok...Once all the bleeding stopped (which for me was like I'd given birth, I bled for 2 weeks afterward) and people stopped asking. Ugh. That's when it got dark.

s to these moms
post #11 of 51
Hugs to all of you.
post #12 of 51
Thank you everyone. It is hard. And as I said in the other thread, it has been really hard on my older 2 as well. They had already been talking names and arguing over whether it would be a boy or a girl and whose room they'd sleep in. Watching them mourn has just renewed all my sadness. Thank you for all the support and warm thoughts. It means a lot to me.
post #13 of 51
post #14 of 51
Thread Starter 
I just added pycelan and her little babe
post #15 of 51




post #16 of 51
Thinking of you all and sending peaceful healing vibes. Please take it easy on yourselves mamas.
post #17 of 51
hugs to you all.
post #18 of 51
so sorry for both of you ladies. will be thinking/praying for u both.
post #19 of 51
for you all, so sorry.

Also for love_r4ks
post #20 of 51
DDC - Oh mamas I am sorry for your loss.

I lost my first baby due to blighted ovum, and since have had two sweet boys. I am now pregnant again, due mid Oct.
This book helped me so much:
http://www.amazon.com/Miscarriage-Wo...4975317&sr=1-1

It really helped me identify and respect my feelings, especially when people irl didn't get understand.
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