What do I do?? Please help, I'm a mess.

[dislocator3972]

I don't know if this should go here or the Breastfeeding forum, mods please intervene if necessary.

My daughter is almost 9 months old, and breastfeeding has been miserable since the beginning. When she was about 7 months old things finally seemed to be getting less painful but now they're a mess again.

When she cuts a tooth, my daughter wants to latch on, pull back and then nurse with her head as far away from me as possible. I use my finger to break her latch and then bring her in close to me again, but she just cries out and then relatches and pulls back again. I've tried putting a Boppy behind her head, she pushes against it and struggles. Usually we just have a day or two of this and then she goes back to nursing her normal way. It's certainly no bonding experience like I've read from other women, but it's bearable and has kept her off formula.

Since she cut her second top tooth things are different. She's been nursing this way for at least a week. It hurts so much! Plus, these top teeth are just rubbing and making me miserable.

She's also grinding her two top teeth against her two bottom teeth but that just started this evening and may just be something new and exciting for her.

I know she has a tongue tie issue, but our ped. told us that she'd learn to work around it. It's not a simple, in the front tie, it's something wonky in the back and under the skin. I'm not sure I understand it exactly but our (very highly recommended and very well respected) LC said she'd never seen anything like it.

DH really does not want the baby to have formula, but I just don't know how much more of this I can take. I fed her a bottle the other day and just felt so*much*love* for her! It was wonderful and beautiful and peaceful. I realized those are the feelings that you all probably feel whenever you breastfeed and I cried. I want that. I've waited so long, and I've worked so hard.

I nursed her as a part of her (unsuccessful) bedtime routine 20 minutes ago and my nipple is still throbbing.

What do I do?

[PatioGardener]

nak - sorry so short

tongue ties are hard - esp posterior ones. i am sorry that you have been dealing with this for so long!

take a look at the tongue-tie sticky. if i were you i would push for either a dental or ENT eval for a clip. (are you in Alaska?)

[dislocator3972]

Originally Posted by PatioGardener

nak - sorry so short

tongue ties are hard - esp posterior ones. i am sorry that you have been dealing with this for so long!

take a look at the tongue-tie sticky. if i were you i would push for either a dental or ENT eval for a clip. (are you in Alaska?)

Yes, I'm in Alaska. Anchorage may have someone who can look at it, and at this point I'd be willing to consider the 7 hour drive. Otherwise we'd have to fly out of state. I'm not sure if our insurance covers anything out of state, and I don't have an extra $2,000 for plane tickets plus hotel and rental car.

Is there really something that an ENT can do for a posterior tongue tie? I've asked around and everyone seems to think it pretty much can't be altered.

[ewe+lamb]

Don't have alot of time either, with pos tts you really need to have an evaluation to make any decision, some can be dealt with and make a difference with others it's more complicated - will try and post more later. As for nursing it also depends if your dd has a high palate and what shape that is as well - I don't know how to post photos but maybe you could post a photo on some photo website and we could try and have a look.

[pbjmama]

From your description I wonder if your supply is suffering and all the yanking is about trying to get more milk, to stimulate a let down. Sometimes babies with TT are not able to stimulate the proper supply from the breast. I would talk to your dh, tell him how you feel. Hopefully the other ladies can help you evaluate her mouth and find a solution.

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by dislocator3972

Is there really something that an ENT can do for a posterior tongue tie? I've asked around and everyone seems to think it pretty much can't be altered.

yes - depends on TT and also on training. i know family docs and a dentist who clip them.

nak

[blessedwithboys]

if something as weird as vaginal rejuvenation can be done, i'm sure theres a way to clip this type of tie!

my ds1 had a regular ol' tt and also the type under the top lip. i nursed in pain (no bottles ever) for 8 mos, got the lingual frenulum clipped and by 9mos the pain was gone. we actually had to clip it 2x, 2 wks apart, and yes he cried a bit, but i felt it was totally worth it.

the top lip came loose when he was baout 2yrs and fell and bumped his face into something.

[dislocator3972]

I could try to take pictures, but I have no idea how I'll get one of her palatte. Hm.

Yesterday we tried giving her a bottle while I pumped to see if she would eat more than I pumped.

The first bottle she only wanted 3oz. But we didn't want to throw away the milk so we decided to let her have the next feeding through the bottle too. I pumped, and got about 9 oz total from both breasts. She ate all of that plus the little that was left over from the earlier bottle. I usually only give her one breast per feeding and I've always had plenty of milk that way.

So it seems maybe I do need to up my supply. I'm a little skeptical that she may have just eaten a lot because the bottle is sort of new to her. She may just have enjoyed the novelty of the bottle. But she didn't spit up and she seemed blissfully full afterward, so I'm going to increase my supply and see if that helps.

I have a long vacation coming up in the lower 48. Maybe I should have someone look at her mouth while we're out of alaska.

How do I find someone who knows about complicated pos tt?

[PatioGardener]

there are several good tt specialists in the sticky - if you post the states you plan to travel to people may have suggestions.

[dislocator3972]

I guess I haven't done a lot of research about tongue ties because everyone who's seen her mouth has said there wasn't much that could be done. If the tongue tie is still bothering her then why did it stop hurting for a month or so?

I know she used to have a very high palatte, but I've noticed an improvement since switching pacifiers.

I'm just so frustrated and disheartened at this point. I want to nurse my baby without incident. I want to breastfeed without pain. My husband and I are talking about just pumping exclusively for a while, but I'm not good about making time for that sort of thing. I always put it off and wish I hadn't.

But I feel so close to her when I give her a bottle! It's so nice and reassuring.