Labeling Your Baby

[Mawood]

How do you like when people label your baby already e.g. she is so serious or skeptic ... My daughter isn't even 4 months yet and I really don't like people putting her in a category. My family lives abroad and so basically they only see her life on skype which isn't interactive for a baby so she doesn't do a whole lot of smiles or giggles. Instead she is very patient when I skype with my family and she really is a happy baby when with Mommy and Daddy. She can be what or how she wants to be but can't she have some time to be characterized like that?

[linchi]

I've got another Skype star here. It's hard when you family is across the world and you want to try and have them see how your baby really is.
Firstly I should say that it's great you have a quiet, attentive baby during video conferencing. Imagine how it would be if she screamed and cried through the call or didn't sit still! Then you might get some nastier baby associations! Maybe you can try and mold your family members to use categories you are more comfortable with. Example:
Family Member A:She is so skeptical and serious.
You: Ya, she's a smart, inquisitive baby who is trying to figure this whole thing out! Look at how nice she sits.
Also, to try and share those big smiles she reserves for you and dad get behind the camera and engage her. She obviously wouldn't show off for a lifeless computer screen, she's too smart for that ! Help her melt their hearts like she does yours.

People will always label, unfortunately. It's crazy, but I think it helps them feel connected because they have an opinion. I totally know where you are coming from.

[akind1]

labels happen, unfortunately. DS has been
'labeled" serious, happy, easy, in turns, depending on his mood at the moment. to be fair, at the time it seems less of a label and more of an observation, it isn't a judgement, I think, just people trying to get a clue of his personality and make conversation.

[nola79]

Originally Posted by akind1

labels happen, unfortunately. DS has been
'labeled" serious, happy, easy, in turns, depending on his mood at the moment. to be fair, at the time it seems less of a label and more of an observation, it isn't a judgement, I think, just people trying to get a clue of his personality and make conversation.

It doesn't bother me.

[jammomma]

Our son is also a Skypester. And I can totally relate to your situation. Our family also lables him and passes judgement on his abilities based on 15 minute bimonthly Skype calls. They act as if he is a performing monkey who should be able to show off and perform for them at their whim. And they are so annoying on the calls, they just repeat themselves over and over and over...(i.e "Hi Ben, it's Grandma look at me, say hi!" repeat 30 times in an annoying voice!)

My (step)MIL is a linguistics professor, and if our son doesn't make all the appropriate sounds during their calls with us, then it's as if something is wrong with him. ugh! blech! Of course according to her, he should have been crawling by 6 months at the very latest, and she should know since she has a doctorate in linguistics and has never had children of her own


The Skype calls are actually very draining for us as a family. Also once our son see's the laptop, all he wants to do is play with it and gets upset if he can't have it.


So..one solution we have found is to Skpe during meals! This way our son is in his highchair and is less inclined to be obsessed with the laptop and instead he eats! Which is often a cute and funny thing to watch. Unless of course if you are my other MIL (gee lucky me I have two MIL's ) who then obsesses on what he is eating, since she believes he should be on cows milk and mush out of a jar. gah!!!

I also try to fill in the blanks of our families experiences with our son through our blog, where I post pictures and videos of him which show him as the well adjusted, happy and bonded and attached kid that he is.

And then I just forget about them and their judgements because it is pointless to be worried about every little judgement they pass on me,my son, or my DH. We know that we do what we do, because we believe we are doing the very best for our son, and we don't half ass anything.

[jess5377]

Originally Posted by jammomma

And they are so annoying on the calls, they just repeat themselves over and over and over...(i.e "Hi Ben, it's Grandma look at me, say hi!" repeat 30 times in an annoying voice!)

Ha ha. My mom does this, except just when she's on the phone with me and can hear the baby. Like, we're not on speaker phone, I'll have the phone up to *my* ear and if the baby makes a sound my mom starts going "Hi Ada, Hiiiiii, Hi, it's Grandma, Hiiiiiiii"