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Originally Posted by provocativa  sometimes low supply with no reason is actually a result of the drugs given during childbirth. they interrupt the oxytocin cycle. you can google it, or i think it's in dr. odent's book, the scientification of love. oxytocin causes uterine contractions, and the contractions of the little muscles which push the milk out. it is also the hormone of attachment and orgasm. explains why so many mothers are emotionally detached from their children- they never create a true mammalian bond.
i think 'it's her life' is b.s. i'm not saying interfere any more, but bottlefeeding is contributing to much that is wrong with western society. it predisposes us to love objects, not people, as it interposes a plastic thing between mom and baby. we are materialistic beyond what is healthy for the planet. also, the cost of the illnessesses directly caused by formula is enormous- asthma and allergies, constant ear infections and lessened intestinal health over the course of a lifetime. increased risk of cancer, and so many other health issues including predisposing the child to addiction- check out the primal health research at birthworks.org if you doubt such assertions. think of how much money society could save if more people breastfed- enough to feed the hungry, or enough healthcare to go around. so it is not just her life- i am paying for her selfishness in the cost of my health insurance premium, and i resent her 'choice'. that according to etiquette we should remain silent about it is really just more propaganda from the formula feeding industry, fed to us in the form of articles in magazines and opinions on 'the view' or other such program. i know lll leaders have to give information and let go, my mom was one, and i couldn't do it. . . .
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I respectfully disagree with pretty much everything you posted. First off, bottlefeeding doesn't always equal formula feeding. I mean, in the OP's example it does, but I know some pretty dang fantastic mothers who have bent over backwards to provide breastmilk to their babies via a bottle and I think it's pretty dismissive to just write them off because their milk is coming out of a bottle and not a breast.
Beyond that, I know many mothers who formula feed for a variety of reasons-- some I might personally deem selfish, some because the overcoming the odds and breastfeeding were insurmountable-- who seem to have a "true mammalian bond" with their children. If they don't, they do a great job faking it.
And finally, this idea that we have the right to judge others' choices because it effects out health insurance premium or whatever-- what's to stop other people from saying the same to us? People use the same arguments about vaccination, homebirth, UC, you name it. In order to have others' respect my choices as being made with the best information available because I love my children, I need to extend to them the same courtesy. You (general you) can be angry with the system, the industry, the propaganda, the culture, without judging the mother and calling her selfish. No one is saying be silent, but no one ever changed the world by pointing at a mother and calling her names.
And I think silently judging, even without saying anything, is just as harmful. And believe me please, that I am one of the biggest lactivists I know. None of my 4 have ever had a bottle, although with twins on the way, I'm suspecting I might need... no, check that...
want to use one once in a while.
To the OP, it can be really, really hard. I have been a LLL leader for 10 years now, and it's been a real growing experience. I've had to learn to let things go and to accept that in the end, I can provide information, but every mother has to make the best choices for their child. I can't own their choices. And while I get the urge to give into defeatism and say it won't make a difference, I do agree with mamallama about "teaching to the next baby." I think some of the best work I do as a breastfeeding advocate isn't teaching classes or leading meetings or even taking late night desperate phone calls-- it's
listening to mothers and truly hearing their stories. Women have a lot of pressure on them and motherhood kicks it into high gear. For every reason a woman gives for not breastfeeding, I swear there are 5 more hidden reasons they're not sharing. Just keep listening and loving. You sound like you have a loving heart.
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